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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want revenge?!

8 replies

bobsleigh234 · 15/10/2013 20:45

Have NCed for this. My lovely best friend who has been married for 5 years has just found out that her DH has been having an affair with another friend of ours for the last 2 years. The OW is not one of our closest friends but she is very much in our friendship group, she is invited to parties, nights out etc. OW was also married with DCs but unhappily. It all came out as messages between the 2 of them were discovered, they implicated them both, they started by minimising but truth has come out now. My friend's DH is now begging for forgiveness, saying he hates the other woman blah blah, anything to try and get my friend back. But luckily she being sensible and despite being devastated she is being strong and going to divorce him. However, what is really making me mad is that the OW is apparently so happy about the situation. We counted her a friend and a couple of people who have seen her say she is showing no remorse, she is basically pretty happy that she has ruined my friend's life and caused so much drama. I know MN always says don't blame the OW, and I blame both of them equally, but AIBU to want (legal!) revenge against the OW for being so heartless and awful?!

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 15/10/2013 20:50

Frankly, WTF has it got to do with you? Drop her, if you want to, but "(legal!) revenge" ?? What do you think a lawyer would be able to do? She might be a cow (insert whatever name you like) but she hasn't broken any law. Just be there for your friend.

cantspel · 15/10/2013 20:50

what legal revenge is there?

None so cut her from your life and leave it at that.

pianodoodle · 15/10/2013 20:53

If your friend wanted to go all Kill Bill (although it doesn't sound like she does) that would be up to her, but I don't think you should be considering anything like that on her behalf.

She may not even thank you for it!

DontmindifIdo · 15/10/2013 20:54

Cut her from your life. Check with your real friend if she wants her DH's affair to be public knowledge. If not, then say nothing about why you've cut her out to others.

Basically, the OW gets stuck in her crap marriage having been dumped by her OM, and has lost all her friends.

Best revenge, live well. and stick lots of photos of you all looking super happy as a group on facebook so she can see what she's lost, that'll hurt more than anything you could do

Pollydon · 15/10/2013 20:55

YANBU to be really, really, really upset on your friends behalf. But you don't need to get revenge, Karma will catch up with an utter bitch like that .

bobsleigh234 · 15/10/2013 20:56

I know you are all so right. Revenge fantasies only!! Yes I will definitely cut her out and I think others will too. So hopefully she won't be so happy in a few months time when she has no-one.

OP posts:
AngelsLieToKeepControl · 15/10/2013 20:58

The problem with revenge is it will make the OW into the victim and make her feel justified in what she did.

Just ignore her and support.your friend.

Monty27 · 15/10/2013 21:00

It's understandable to hear how you feel but it's not your fight. Keep out of it. But you're entitled to not want a cheat like that in your life.

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