Council refusing to let us adapt our house

[cantsleep]

We have a small 3 bed council house. Seperate bathroom and toilet both minute and difficult to use, there is literally only room for the bath in there it is tiny.

Downstairs we have a living room and kitchen which is same size, a small utility area by back door.

I asked the council could we move the kitchen area to the right hand side where the utility area and back door are, freeing up so much space that we could then have another small room downstairs. They said no.

I also asked could the bathroom and toilet be knocked through to make a larger bathroom, they said no again but the surveyor who came to the house said we could change the bathroom door to open outward s rather than inwards even though for health and safety reasons we shouldn't really As it could be opened, hit somebody and make them fall down the stairs.

I am really cross that the council are so unhelpful. Even to the point that we asked for the 3 small steps to the door be levelled out and to have a slope instead and they said no and gave us 2 stupid ramps which didn't even fit so are useless to us and even if they did its a shared entrance so they could t be left there which would mean us constantly putting them down, going out, picking them up etc etc.

We really need a bigger bathroom and are in desperate need of an extra room due to health issues and I feel the council are being very nasty saying no to our requests.

AIBU to be so annoyed, I feel like going to see them and not leaving till they agree.

They won't be 1 and 3 forever so the shower option could work

Is there a gas boiler in your kitchen?

Bi fold door sounds a good compromise too. As does the stair lift

OP provision of a stair lift would be based on need but also on a risk assessment, and also if one could be safely installed (taking into account size and shape of stairs etc). You need to talk to your OT again.

Sorry, I've got a bit confused - what has the OT said that s/he feels you need? Also, what MrsD said!

Contact local housing associations to see if they have any suitable properties and contact your local councillors and MPs. They can lobby on your behalf. There are few suitable properties so you have to do everything you can to ensure you're at the top of the list when a property does become available.
(I speak from experience my parents needed an adapted house and eventually had to move from council housing to the local housing association for their needs to be met).
Please don't do any adaptions without permission. It's also unlikely that the Council will allow your relatives to complete the work. When you move on, someone else has to live there and the building regs and paperwork all have to be correct. The Council aren't being unreasonable.
Great advice from Cherries .

mrs de vere you are right. However, as I said before if the OP's home cant be adapted, then rehousing is the only option. They can't adapt a property in such a way as it goes against building regs etc. it's not legal.

We just saw the OT who arranged for the surveyor to come round. I was hoping the council would agree to what we asked for then we could get the grant.

Reassuring to hear that stair lifts are safer now, I remember years ago hearing about a child involved in a horrible accident with one and it worried me.

I just want to make things easier for dcs, to see dd1 crying when it's bedtime and having to crawl up the stairs is heartbreaking, I feel so guilty that I have not provided a home for dcs which meets their needs. Keep wishing I had worked harder at school and not wasted opportunities but I had no idea I would have dcs with so many needs.

Trying to make the best of what we do have but I'm getting dragged under by the same problems every single day. Back to OT again tomorrow and try again, thnk I will have to make a nuisance of myself.

cant I don't have a clue how the DFGs work, but my stairlift alone cost over £6k because of the turns in my stairs. That is a lot to lose out of a budget. On that basis I really, really would ask for a full assessment of all your DC before you ask for anything specific.

Is it up to 30k per household or per disabled child under 18. 2 of the dcs get higher rate for both parts of dla, others get varying lower and middle rates so not sure if they would qualify for it in any way.

The extra room would benefit dd but bathroom being sorted out would help them all.

Cantsleep if you do get to the point of the council arranging for these adaptions to be made then make sure you go through things with a fine tooth comb.

We had a company allocated to us that was supposed to over see the building of our extension. Although we are paying a large amount of money towards the build we were not allowed access to the specifications or costings, so things like a ramp have not been priced for or built. The company have not checked that aspects of the build are suitable so I now have a wet room that floods and won't dry in certain areas and the wheels on the wheelchair freely spin because of dips. Thresholds to the outside are too high for the chair to get over without pulling high wheelies.

I have raised all these issues, the company won't let me know when and If the problems are going to be fixed, the council is trying to find money to pay for a ramp and the building company want to finish off the building but can't because nobody will make a decision.

Sorry if this has been covered, I'm too exhausted to read all the posts, but in the very short term could your dd sleep downstairs on days when she is really struggling with the stairs? I have M.E so constant exhaustion like your dd and at the start of it that's what I did when I was really poorly. I know several people who have pull out sofa beds on days when they can't manage the stairs.

Sorry that you are having these difficulties. No real practical advice other than that and definitely look into stair lifts. They are literally the difference for some people I know between being bedbound and housebound. Also bath seats/shower seats can be great for saving energy. Keep on speaking to your OT, it's their job to try and help you get what you need.

I'm not sure but dd's OT has put in for a second DFG 5 years on from the first because the bathroom is no longer suitable. I did say at the time that a bath would have a limited lifetime as she got longer and a wet room would be better but the OT wouldnt listen. Now of course, with the supportive seating in the bath she doesnt fit (d'uh) so they will be changing it to a wet room and putting heating in. The concrete floor makes it freezing and thus unuseable during the winter months. Second d'uh. You try dangling in a hoist and sling in freezing air!

You won't be a nuisance and no-one thinks of all these things when they move into a house.

Be open to all options when talking to the OT. They will want to help you and you DCs but will have to work within the regs. You can talk through your worries with them and see what they can say to reassure you.

We have a shower curtain in our wet room, they put it in I think to help 'prevent' flooding, a proper floor without dips and a drain that didn't need emptying before every shower would have been a better idea.

I don't know cant.

What I would do is contact the OT and ask them. Don't settle for an easy option or second best. Remember that the DC are young right now, but it won't be long before they are adults so think about that. Think about how or wether their conditions could worsen.

In my house we have a small upstairs toilet and a separate bathroom. They couldn't be knocked together as the OT wanted so I have had the downstairs loo and half of the utility room made into a wet room. I have a fold down seat and hand rails, a higher toilet.

The doors in my house have all been widened so that I can get though them in a wheelchair. Is that something your DC might need in the future.

If its not possible to adapt the house then you will need to move. Stop trying to do swaps and get yourself on the list for disablility adapted housing with the OH specifying your needs... Then start trying to make life liveable in the shorter term whilst you wait.

It's funny how people really think they know what disabled people are allowed and how much / thresholds/ rules. I wonder why people think they know? V odd.

OP have you looked into replacing the bath with a shower with a deep tray which can be used as a bath by a child? Similar to the type you get in caravans.

Op... How many dc do you have?

I don't have a shower curtain in my wet room ! I do have a floor with dips and a drain that needs constant emptying though!

I AM NOT ALONE