to ask to start my Maternity Leave a bit early?

[momentofmadness0]

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and have had a horrible time of it so far. I have had hyperemesis since week 7 and although it is generally quite well controlled by medication now, I still have daily episodes of nausea and retching and am still vomiting 3 or 4 times a week. I had 2 weeks off (unpaid) with the sickness when it was at its worst in 1st Tr but other than that have dragged myself into work, despite vomiting multiple times a day. I'm also now getting a very big bump (fundal height is above the 90th centile line) so am struggling a lot with the normal 3rd Tri aches, pains and difficulty sleeping.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I said I wanted to work as close as possible to my due date and agreed to work until the end of the first week of Dec (EDD is 17th Dec.) I work for a small business (about 10 employees) and we are behind on targets this year which will affect the business financially if we don't pull it back so everyone is feeling the pressure to perform. My replacement can't start until January so even with me working until the 6th of December, we will be one team member down for 3 weeks. I was trying to just fight through it and honour what I said I would do but I have had a few bad days sickness wise and am absolutely exhausted and although I love my job, the thought of working another 8 weeks is filling me with dread. AIBU to ask to start my maternity leave a week or 2 earlier than I said I would, knowing that it will put my colleagues under even more pressure than they are already feeling?

YANBU, you need to think if your health.

If you are off sick from a certain point in your ml (week 36?) with a PG related illness then I think this triggers your ML to start. So it might be worth approaching work from that angle.

Can your work be adjusted so you can keep working eg with from home, commute outside of peak hours?

Sounds reasonable - realistically, this means you would go at week 38 rather than week 40, no? You could go into labour from week 37 and be at term so they would have to cope if that happened.

Obviously, if there is something that you need to finish off then do that but you should really start thinking about your handover at this stage regardless.

Yanbu. Your wellbeing comes first!

I think you can start your ML as early as 29 weeks so shouldnt be an issue if you want to start now.

Go when you need to. I planned to work until 38 weeks but was just so knackered I stop at 36 and a bit. DS was born at 37 and a bit.

Can you not work from home? I was in a similar situation and my small company gave me this option. I was really surprised to be honest - they offered. I didn't even ask.

I'm 30 weeks and also measuring huge this time I feel for you! My daughter was no where near this massive!

You can start early, in my last job I was meant to stay until 36 wks but we reworked some holiday to mean I actually stopped at 34 is there any way of doing something similar?

I wanted to stay on as long as possible for financial reasons but as it was shift work with different patterns I was struggling towards the end!

YANBU - your health and baby come first.

I originally planned to work to 36 weeks but finished at 32 due to very low blood pressure causing fainting and dizzy spells.

I'm 34 weeks now and don't regret it at all as I am able to rest and do as much or as little as I like. I'm also suffering 3rd trimester aches and niggles now so struggling to sleep due to needed the loo constantly and achey hips so having the option to lie in is great.

Also I've always been told at work 'oh you're highly valued' etc yet I haven't heard from anyone since I finished. My DH works there as well but few people have asked him how I am so I don't feel at all guilty!

Do whats right for you and baby.

Something that helped me (I went to 38+something with both of mine) was to drop to a 4 day week - Have you got any holiday left to take a Wednesday off (so you get a break mid week, and if you do need to go out and do chores its not as busy as Mon / Fri)

Good luck.

Thanks for the input, I will ask them tomorrow. Unfortunately there is no option to work from home, it is one of those jobs that I have to be physically present at the office. And i cant ask to go on reduced duties as there are only me and two others who are qualified to do my job and they are already working flat out to recover the deficit so there is nobody to take up the excess work. So it is all or nothing really. I just feel bad for leaving my colleagues in the lurch, I consider them all my friends and hate the thought of letting anyone down.
nextphase that is a good idea, i may ask about reducing a day a week for the last couple of weeks as that might be a good compromise.

Not U at all! If you aren't up to it you aren't up to it.

Your maternity leave will should be triggered to start automatically if you are off sick after 36 weeks with a pregnancy related reason.

Definitely finish. I stopped at 33 weeks and it was THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE, EVER!

I have never met anyone who regrets going on mat leave too early, but know lots of people who feel they left it too late (particularly those whose babies came at 37/8 weeks.)

Anyway, your health comes first. YANBU.

Would you pt be better than no you?

I don't blame you one bit. I am not far behind you weeks wise and I have had a straight forward and easy pregnancy so far and even I feel like I could do with finishing earlier than planned. My job is stressful and I am so tired and struggling with my commute, and I have not been as unwell as you.

Think of you, your baby and your family and leave early. Trust me, you don't get anything for being a martyr.

But, yes, you will be leaving them in the lurch.

But, yes, you will be leaving them in the lurch.

So?

As others have pointed out, if she went into labour they have no choice but to cope, ditto if she ended up signed off with a pregnancy relate illness (or even a non pregnancy related illness).

OP, there are no medals for struggling and if you feel you're ready to start your maternity leave then you're ready and you shouldn't feel guilty (or be made to feel guilty) for doing so. No one can predict how they'll feel by the third trimester and even someone with a textbook 'perfect' pregnancy can find themselves floundering towards the end. Do it, enjoy the rest :)