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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I lost the plot when I thought I could actually do this!

8 replies

YellowCanary1 · 15/10/2013 10:17

Kind of light-hearted thread!

Last year after 3 consecutive miscarriages, dh and I decided to put on hold second dc for a while and I pursued a long term ambition of doing a PhD, and sent in an application for a scholarship. Low and behold, I also then fell pregnant and had a very healthy pregnancy and had a beautiful baby boy. Scholarship application went ahead and when invited for interview (heavily pregnant) I thought what the hell will give it a shot. Was awarded a full scholarship (the type that are like gold dust in my field!). Though I knew baby would only be 4 mths old when I started, we thought to good an opportunity to miss and it meant I didn't have to return to work so my time overall will be much more flexible long term with the children. In the meantime due to a sad death in our family, DH's family farm is being passed down to him and his brothers. This has all culminated recently and as a result we have had October to completely refurbish and do up an old farm house, transfer all business, etc, get to grips with it all and move end of the month. Within all this I have my baby, a toddler, a full time PhD, renovating a house, moving house and I deal with all the business side of things for dh. Currently taking a brief break from trying to write essay, whilst feeding baby, whilst trying to negotiate with BT etc.

AIBU to come in here and just go AAARRRGGGHHHH - I think I was completely nuts to ever think this is possible!???

OP posts:
oranges · 15/10/2013 10:20

YOu can do this. I am sorry about the bereavement, this would have been a tough time for you all even if you had not had the baby or PhD.

But at least now you have so many wonderful things to achieve - a PHD and a growing family. Do get some help with childcare though.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 15/10/2013 10:20

Do you live near me, I have lots of ironing to do and a garden that needs landscaping, they say if you want something done, ask a busy person, .

Lweji · 15/10/2013 10:22

Can you take some leave off the PhD? I think you can academically-wise, but not sure about scholarships.

In any case, take it easy and one thing at a time. Split everything into smaller tasks so that you get a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

Good luck with the PhD and the move. :)

QueenofallIsee · 15/10/2013 10:23

You need to be able to go ARRRGHHHH but given the right level of support you CAN DO THIS. It will really pay off in the long term and you shouldn't give up your big chance! Perhaps you could hand off the business admin for a while? And get some help in on the renovations wherever you can? It will be tough but if you and your DH pull together it will be totally worth it

I hope he is very proud of you, you are clearly 100% AWESOME

SimplyRedHead · 15/10/2013 10:27

I am just coming to the end of something similar and the one positive I've taken from it is that atleast you get everything over and done with at the same time (even if it almost kills you!).

I had a (relatively) short time burst of pain for a long term gain rather than doing one thing after the other and ending up with a long drawn pain.

Sorry for your loss.

SybilRamkin · 15/10/2013 11:17

Wow, you really have your hands full - DH was moaning today that he doesn't feel like he has time for a life outside work, I'm going to point him in the direction of this thread!

You CAN do this, and you WILL. I know it seems massively overwhelming, but when you look back at this in a few years you'll be so glad you did it. Flowers Chin up, you'll be fine.

Original poster
YellowCanary1 · 15/10/2013 11:43

Thanks all, feeling a little better now as I have bashed half my essay out. It will all be so worth it long term. We are very committed to living off the land and have for a long time aimed to live as self sustaining as possible, we now have that option and for our children the up bring we can give them on a farm is much more in line with what we hoped than where we are now. Also with my PhD I feel not only am I fulfilling my ambition but I setting an example for my boys about not limiting their sights and anything is possible. So in a few years we can look back and think it was so worth it. I just need to break it down into baby steps I think!

OP posts:
HmmmWhatAMess · 15/10/2013 12:24

I am in awe of your achievements.

Keep going but don't be afraid to ask for help. Keep a check on your mental health and take time to enjoy all that your doing.

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