to think that if you are invited for lunch

[VinegarDrinker]

And you happen to have another engagement locally that same evening, you would ask/tell your hosts that and ask if you could stay round til the evening, or maybe arrive later, rather than just hanging round like a bad smell all afternoon, when clearly that was your plan all along...?

Ps you only live 15 mins drive away, the other engagement is 5 mins walk away

Perhaps because it's easier for a man to slope off to work or have something pressing that needs doing in the shed or whatever while his DW plays hostess.

It just happens to be to OP's MIL that she finds hard work - she could easily have said it was her own mum, her sister or a friend.

I find it very stressful having anyone here for any length of time.