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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To stop doing these stupid faddy diets and.....

22 replies

classifiedinformation · 14/10/2013 18:13

Learn to love my size 14/16 self? The 5:2 was ok, but is really not compatible with family life and I'm fed up.

I go swimming 3 times a week which I enjoy and I'm going to dump the biscuits/crisps etc during the week and only eat treat stuff on weekends. I find it very hard to lose weight, the smallest I've ever been is a size 12.

I don't want to give up carbs or my love of baking, but I do want to cook better food for my family and sort my anaemia out. Most of all I want to take my life back and love myself instead of hating what I see in the mirror.

Does anybody truly accept what nature gave them to work with and are happy with themselves? If you do, please let me know your secret!!!

OP posts:

bishboschone · 14/10/2013 18:16

If you can then do, I have been dieting all my adult life and I'm still fighting the flab. I'm not exactly fat but I would like to be an easy 8. I'm more a big 10/ 12 at the moment . I have been size 22 and size 6 so I guess I'm doing ok. My body naturally falls at size 14 so I'm always going to be fighting it. I have a sn ds so I'm exhausted by the end of the day and can't make myself run/Zumba etc although I do try to walk as much as I can .

mrspremise · 14/10/2013 18:20

I am happy. I am healthy, have a wonderful husband, gorgeous children and a loving family. I enjoy my food; I pay attention to what I eat. Being a different dress size or weight couldn't make me any happier than I am, people often commenton my positive attitude and ready smile. Embrace the woman you ARE, not the woman you, perhaps misguidedly, think you would like to be...

Original poster

classifiedinformation · 14/10/2013 18:35

I too am a natural size 14 waist and size 16 top (blessed with big boobs) and I gained my tummy at around 11 when my periods started and the self hatred started then.

I am so sick of fighting nature and not enjoying life because I am constantly comparing myself unfavourably to others. I honestly think that the way I feel about my body has got in the way of me achieving other things in my life and I am so sad about that.

I will be turning 40 next year and I want to embrace it and feel good about myself. I have two beautiful children, a partner who thinks I'm gorgeous as I am and a loving family. I am starting to think about starting my own business, but it won't work if I have zero faith in myself.

Mrspremise, that is exactly how I want to feel!!

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FlapJackOLantern · 14/10/2013 18:41

I'm more a big 10/ 12 at the moment - when did 10/12 get to be BIG (or am I reading that wrong)?

Sirzy · 14/10/2013 18:44

I thought that flapjack.

Personally I don't think diets work, I think it needs to be a lifestyle change and you have to really want to make those changes. I have dropped from a 20 to a 14 since may without dieting as such just making healthier choices.

Tuonz · 14/10/2013 18:49

Have you tried portion control alongside some proper exercise a few times a week? I only ask as you said you sick of the faddy diets. I know of women who ave tried every faddy diet and fallen off the wagon, only to succeed with real healthy changes and exercise.

The only eating treats at the weekend never worked for me, just over indulged then.

You should always love your body, nothing wrong with loving it and looking after it though.

Not meaning to project here, just my experiences in relation to what you said so far.

pumpingprincess · 14/10/2013 18:49

Being happy is a decision that you need to make and to forgive yourself for not being perfect.

Then you live it everyday> It's that easy!

gobbynorthernbird · 14/10/2013 18:52

Flapjack, I think that means the poster is at the top end of a size 10, going in to a 12.

specialsubject · 14/10/2013 18:56

yes. diets are a waste of time as you've proved.

easy on the treats, move around, eat properly (40% good carbs, lots of veg, protein, dairy, a little fat), don't eat junk (low-fat food, diet food, ready meals) and get your life back.

and forget the label in your knickers. :-)

Original poster

classifiedinformation · 14/10/2013 19:01

I am not great at cardiovascular exercise, tried the PS3 active thing on easy and it nearly killed me. Discovered I seem to still have a bit of asthma and my back is not the greatest ss I have an underlying condition. Hence sticking to swimming.

I do walk as often as possible when the weather isn't too horrendous. I do want to make better decisions about food and I've started reducing my portion sizes already.

Pumpingprincess, I do need to forgive myself for not being perfect, for other reasons as well as body image.

OP posts:

Original poster

classifiedinformation · 14/10/2013 19:03

specialsubject Lol at the knicker size comment!

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babydueinmarch · 14/10/2013 19:07

When I did this, and ate what I wanted, the weight fell off me - honestly. I think it was because I didn't ever get hungry so I never craved biscuits or cakes. I have three meals a day, usually porridge or cereal with semi skimmed milk for breakfast, a sandwich, soup or sushi for lunch with fruit and sometimes crisps or a cereal bar, and then pasta or casserole or cottage pie for tea. At weekends I go out for lunch and/or have takeaways. I feel amazing (and I'm a size 12*, I am not skinny but I'm definitely not fat and most importantly I feel I look nice!)

--when i'm not pregnant as at the moment I am a whale!

FlapJackOLantern · 14/10/2013 19:13

Ah, right gobby - phew, that's a relief !

catsoup · 14/10/2013 19:14

I have come to the same conclusion and I'm approaching 30 in a couple of weeks. I'm sick of eating low fat and obsessing about my next meal.

I'm making a life change and eating good food and the junk in moderation. I'm a size 12, used to be a ten but I think a big part of it is dressing to suit my shape now.

Spirulina · 14/10/2013 19:19

It isn't what nature gave you though, is it?

Nature intends you to be within a healthy bmi range... Where do you fit into that? We are designed to be active. We are designed to run. You are storing up problems for later life if you 'give up'

Original poster

classifiedinformation · 14/10/2013 19:51

spirulina I am only just into the overweight category, but to be honest BMI is hugely flawed as it's weight ranges cannot differentiate between muscle and fat (most rugby players for example, would come out as obese).

I didn't say I was going to give up eating healthily and just snack on burgers all day. I swim at least 3 times a week, I walk when I can. I don't often eat fried food and I don't drink fizzy drinks (or fruit juices which are just as bad) at all.

Biscuits and chocolate are my downfall and I will be cutting them out as far as possible (weekend treats only). What I want to give up is stupid faddy diets and trying to attain an unrealistic body image.

I don't have the money or inclination for the gym or zumba etc, I don't want to feel bad about not being able to do those things.

OP posts:

Original poster

classifiedinformation · 14/10/2013 19:53

Nature did not intend me to be a size ten either, especially after 2 c sections which left me with a lovely overhang. Even at a small size 12, that didn't go away.

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Spirulina · 14/10/2013 20:05

Bmi is a good enough guide for the majority of us, not rugby players, but then again not many people wanting to shift weight are.

Carry on then and good luck.

bishboschone · 14/10/2013 20:07

I'm 5 ft tall so it's big on me , I also have a small frame so carrying a lot of weight . I appreciate size 12 is slim for some people.

ethelb · 14/10/2013 20:14

You sound like you are near a healthy enough weight anyway so weightliss doesnt sound essential.
Could you just focus on positive diet changes? I aim to have 10 portions of fruit and veg a day for example. Could you aim to do that, and have 8 glasses if water and a portion of lean protein a day? As oppossed to 'denial'?
Tbh the weight wont fall off but you can be happy in the knowledge you are a lot healthier than a lot of people a lot thinner than you.
I think you already reach the base levels for activity anyway

cardibach · 14/10/2013 20:18

BMI is a population measure - it was never intended for individual use when it was worked out. With adequate nutrition and exercise, people's bodies are still different. I have an underactive thyroid, which doesn't help, but I walk loads and eat generally healthily. I have dropped from a 22 to a 16/18 but it really doesn't want to go lower. I'm not 'giving up', I still live healthily because I feel better, but I refuse to feel bad and hate myself for being this size.

Original poster

classifiedinformation · 14/10/2013 20:36

Thanks for all your replies. Drinking more water is a must for me as I'm crap at it, not sure I could manage 10 portions of fruit and veg a day though as I have IBS and I'd be in the loo forever lol.

I hope I didn't sound too snarky in my reply spirulina, didn't intend to come across that way.

I'm 5'4" and 11ish stone, want to lose 7lbs, but not that bothered about going lower than that any more.

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