To want more than an "It's ok"?

[moominleigh94]

Little bit of context - I'm 2nd year at university, studying a theatre degree. Also 12 weeks pregnant unexpectedly.

On my course I'm known as the organised one - god knows why, because my room is a state, but I'm the one who keeps track of different groups. I've won a couple of awards for creative writing, so I'm also known as the writer.

One of our modules involves performing to new Year 7 children in schools, about the changes they'll face going to university. This is alongside four other modules, all with heavy workload, and a big Christmas production in which I've just been given a main part.

We needed a script writing, and rather than suggest we do it as a collaborative effort, one of my friends - who knows full well that I'm pregnant and stressed - suggested me, and everyone said "Yeah, moomin will do it", and I wasn't really given a chance to say no. I was flattered that they'd asked, but at the same time, a little bit that a fair few people in the class know I'm pregnant and know I'm weighed down with appointments and extra stress, but still asked me to write out a full script.

Fast forward a week and I've written a script, not my best work but for a performance to Year 7s, I'd say it's fairly good. Posted it on my course's page to see what people think, and almost instantly I've got a reply saying "It's ok. Bit short. You could've put more effort into it".

AIBU for being a bit about this? It's short because it's an introduction; it's supposed to be short because that's what the lecturer asked for! And fair enough, it's nothing special so saying "It's ok" is fine, but saying I could've put more effort into it? I've also had to organise groups for an assessment on Thursday because no-one else would do it, along with everything else involved in the course and trying to contact the council and people that we need advice from regarding the pregnancy. Fair enough this person doesn't know about me being pg, but they're still well aware of the stress this course puts on people without being asked to do all this extra stuff on top!

A 'thanks' wouldn't have gone amiss, if you know what I mean.

I know I am BU and overreacting because I'm so hormonal damnit so please please don't shout at me, but I just want someone to back me up and reassure me that I'm not irrational in thinking that this person is a rude twat I'm a little bit fumming, to tell you the truth

Complex I've yet to see you on this board post anything other than irrelevant bitchy shit.

Op-it was rude but tbh you do sound a bit smug. I would point out that you were asked to do it at short notice and if they don't like it they can fuck off-you have done what was required of you.

Sorry but I did at complex's comment.

To all the group as a reply to Rudebloke's email:-

"Rudebloke has kindly offered to do the rewrites of my first draft so any suggestions to him. I guess we need to start rehearsing on Monday so if you all get your comments in by Friday then Rudebloke can distribute on Sunday."

barbed wire pants

How about 'feel free to pull your finger out your arse and write something yourself'?

"I've just written his death into the script."

Some good advice here. You do need to tackle their assumption that you'll do everything and your colleagues rudeness.

mumoftwoyoungkids writes pretty much what I would do.

I'd be annoyed too - I loathe people not saying thank you when they asked me for a favour - but would post something like "Thanks. Agree but bit busy. Feel free to post your edits." Then leave it.

Some of the most annoying people in life are the twats who don't lift a finger themselves, but feel they have a right to criticise those who do. You can never expect thanks from these quarters, so save yourself some grief and don't expect any. Invite input, if he actually has any to give, but don't get defensive about your own work.

Thanks for the replies :) normally I have a much thicker skin... nature of a performing arts degree I guess... but I think yesterday was just a rough day all round and I was very emotional. Whereas today, lots of people including the teacher have read the script and said it was good and said thank you, and rudetwat just sat there looking uncomfortable. Apparently he hadn't bothered to read the fact that it was just the introduction and it was what the lecturer had asked for so I'm over it

I think the reason they get me to do it is because they know I don't want to be an actress... so I think because I write, they've assumed (fairly) that I want to be a scriptwriter. (I actually want to be a midwife but hey). I enjoy writing but I think in future I probably won't let people volunteer me for things if I don't want to do it.

In the end I asked him how long he thought it needed to be, and he said I needed to write three or four more pages, so I said "Ok, well feel free to write it". Surprisingly enough he didn't

I didn't actually realise Complex was being sarcastic/bitchy... didn't really understand their comment but hey (there's a reason I'm on a theatre course ). But, Complex, if it's a dig at me being on a theatre course; better than me sitting around doing nothing all day. If it's a dig at an unplanned pregnancy then I'll let you know when it becomes any of your fucking business :)

Glad you've thought your way through it, we all have wobbles and it's just a shame that the first comment was the only negative comment.

But, I've got to ask, why are you doing a degree in theatre when you want to be a midwife?

Viva everyone I've spoken to told me they'd rather have an older midwife who waited until she'd had kids to become a midwife, so (perhaps foolishly? Who knows) I believed them. I was hoping to do a PGCE after university and train as a teacher, and then go back to uni twenty years or so down the line and re-train as a midwife then, money depending.

Now I'm thinking of doing an early years course after uni instead and trying to find work in a nursery/playgroup, and still hoping to go back and retrain as a midwife eventually. I've always enjoyed performing, and it gave me an opportunity to get out of the jobless shithole I was living in at the time - it seemed the only way out, really.

No, but they could refrain from being lazy fuckers who volunteer the OP to do things and then give rude, unhelpful responses to her work.

I'd say something like 'Perhaps there's been a misunderstanding? This is a collaborative project, I agreed to create first draft of the script, but was assuming that you'd all contribute something at least. Look forward to seeing it once you've all added your sections and redrafted. Then I can give you my feedback on your writing..."

oh darn - didn't see the second page Many apologies! Well it worked out well anyway! Good luck with the degree and with your pregnancy

TheAwfulDaughter As I mentioned in the OP, the ones who've been less understanding aren't aware I'm pregnant, so the pregnancy was never really the issue in that sense - the reason I said I'm pregnant is to explain me being hyper-emotional and hormonal and overreacting to it

I'm fully aware that I'm in the situation through my own doing, and with the exception of one other student, there's no-one in my year with kids, so I don't expect anyone to understand the pregnancy related stuff - but we're all doing the same course and same modules, so they all have some understanding of the difficulty of the course and the workload we've got at the moment, so I think volunteering me to do the written work was bad enough, but not having the courtesy to accept that I put effort into it, and maybe a thanks, is cuntish regardless of pregnancy IMO.

Also, it wasn't really delegating tasks... it was a case of "this script needs to be done by next week", "Oh moomin will do it" - the rest of them didn't have to do anything.

I'd've been tempted to post back: "as opposed to all the back-breaking, blood-sweating effort YOU put into it, do you mean?"

Wow, three degrees and a post-degree qualification sounds intense (and expensive). Lots of luck to you!

Viva it'll really only (hopefully) be two degrees and a college course, as I'm no longer planning on the PGCE - I'd rather work in a nursery as I want to work with really small children rather than primary age - so it'll just be this one, then some kind of childcare NVQ because it's what most nurseries seem to require these days, and then - however many years down the line - Midwifery (as a straight course&training, rather than bachelor of nursing followed by 18 month midwifery top-up)

But you're right on the expensive point if the current situation is anything to go by....

Thanks :)

Hmm, looks as though you''ve fallen prey to "willing horse" syndrome, OP! Everyone suggested you should do it because there were confident that you wouldn't refuse, letting them nicely off the hook. The fact that they didn't' know you were pregnant - and therefore probably feeling more tired and stressed than usual - is no excuse. I'm glad it all turned out so well as that justifies the work you put in. Also, you took the trouble to understand the remit while Rude bloke did not, so all's well that ends well. You are obviously good at writing and, as you say, in a way it is a compliment that you were everyone's choice.

By the way. there's nothing wrong with planning to have two careers at different stages in your life - much more interesting than doing the same thing all your working life. (None of us are ever going to be allowed to retire anyway, under this government!)

they, not there