Smoking during pregnancy

[cantsleep]

Sil is expecting a baby. At the weekend we saw her at DMs house and she popped out into the garden with DM to smoke.

Now, don't get me wrong. Sil is lovely and I get on well with her. As far as I'm concerned it is her choice that she still smokes when pregnant. She is intelligent enough to make her own choices knowing the risks. Personally I would not smoke during pregnancy but that's my choice.

DM however was positively ecstatic that sil was smoking. Told me that when I was pg I was over the top about not breathing in smoke and how it is fine. DM smoked through all her pregnancies and said it did her and us no harm.
She has told me categorically I am not to tell dsis that sil is still smoking as dsis is likely to say it is not healthy for e baby etc and DM doesn't want sil upset.

I find the whole thing ridiculous. DM is constantly talking about how sensible sil is not just giving up suddenly as apparently that would shock her body and cause the baby more harm!

AIBU to think DM attitude is ridiculous?

I think your DM might be pleased that your sil is smoking because it makes her feel better about the fact she did it.

just remember when they do a pool for the babies birthweight to go low.

fucking wankers

I did actually have a midwife who told me that "if it was too hard to stop smoking, then start again and just try and cut down, as the stress of stopping is worse for the baby than the smoke" - God's honest truth, those were her exact words.
Out of 5 babies, I gave up completely with 2, had one every now and again with 2 and just carried on smoking although not as many as I usually had with one. They were all over 8lb and 2 were over 9lb. None of them were early, and none of them have asthma, or are prone to chest complaints or anything else. And I do appreciate that there is stacks of evidence to show that I am lucky staistically, and that bad effects are more likely. I guess it's like "everyone" knows someone who smoked and drank from childhood and lived to be 100, the exception not the norm.
Not sure if I actually have a point here as such, just my own experiences, but hysterical ranting and "having a go" at someone for doing something they are addicted to is never helpful. Like you say, it is your SiL's body, her baby, and her choice.
Your mother sounds a bit smug about the whole thing though - is she usually so pleased to be "proved right" so to speak? So she can, not exactly use it against you, but be a bit "told you so so nerrrrr"?