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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fantasising about the different ways to murder DH?

25 replies

AcidNails · 13/10/2013 19:23

Went out for the afternoon together, culminating in a nice late lunch. Once we got home (2hrs ago) he asked if I minded him playing ps3 for a bit, which I didn't.

Now after 2 hours of listening to his game blast out of our living room tv, him shouting down his headset to his mates, his snorty laugh, whistling nose (needs to blow it, but will argue that he doesn't), sucking his sweets and them banging on the back of his teeth. Aaaaargh! So I ask him what he's eating (as honestly the noise is horrid!) And he snaps at me, which his mates can hear as he's still connected to his headset. He then goes on playing for another hour.

There's no other tv I can watch in the house, although there is one upstairs that he can hook his ps3 up to (no digi / sky box connected to it).

He's now stopped playing and is in a mood with me because I'm unhappy firstly at him playing for 2 hours with no consideration for me, and secondly for belittling me.

Who is unreasonable, me or him??

OP posts:

gamerchick · 13/10/2013 19:26

This is why I set up a man cave for the husband upstairs. He can play his games to his hearts content then.

Unplug his machine and take it upstairs. Tell him to use that TV from now on then both of you are happy.

Original poster

AcidNails · 13/10/2013 19:38

I generally don't mind him playing it in the living room. But a bit of consideration wouldn't go amiss from time to time! And I hadn't really equated playing for a bit to be 2 hours, which would doubtless be 3 if I hadn't interrupted the party.

OP posts:

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 13/10/2013 19:41

Is he 14?

Do you regularly rely on other people for your entertainment.

Catsize · 13/10/2013 19:44

Yuck. I would be annoyed too. I really struggle to find time to be with my son due to other commitments, and it really gets me down. What a waste of his time. And his family's.

YouTheCat · 13/10/2013 19:44

Hide one of the leads.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 13/10/2013 19:47

2 hours isn't long really... Especially when you are online with friends. It probably flew by without him noticing. I'd have found something else to do, or asked him to move upstairs.

It sounds like you were passed off with him anyway, if all his bodily functions were annoying you. It sounds like simmering resentment.

Maybe next time clarify how long 'a bit' is, if it really bothers you? Or just set his PS3 up upstairs, so he naturally plays up there, leaving the TV for you.

gamerchick · 13/10/2013 19:48

See a good gaming session does take hours..I that's why I don't play unless I've the house to myself.

Next time you'll know he'll be on for a few hours if he asks if you'll mind.

Strumpetron · 13/10/2013 19:51

A 'man room' is the best thing we've ever had. He goes and plays his games/guitar in there out of my way. When his mates come round they can all go in there too.

livinginwonderland · 13/10/2013 19:51

Well, most people don't go on the PS3 for half an hour or so. Most games (well, games that DP plays) need to be played for at least 1-2 hours at a time to make a "session" worthwhile.

If him playing in the living room was a problem, you should ask him to move the PS3 into the other room so that you can watch TV or a film. We only have one TV but I'm happy to sit on the sofa next to DP with my laptop while he plays (he doesn't do any online stuff so we can still talk a bit) for a few hours at the weekend.

If you wanted to do something with him, you should have asked him to play a bit later so you could do something as a couple.

Strumpetron · 13/10/2013 19:52

Honestly I don't see a problem with what he's doing, does he have to give you a timetable? Do you have to ask for permission and tell him how long you're going to be watching the TV for?

Original poster

AcidNails · 13/10/2013 19:56

Do I rely on other people for entertainment? Not sure what that's got to do with anything, but no I don't! I do, however, expect a bit of courtesy to allow me to entertain myself without having to endure the shit and of something I'm not privy to invade my living space.

And yes it likely was a simmering resentment that built over the course of the 2hrs. To be honest I did get a bit pissed off when he was ignoring me whist we were out to text his mates. I realised very quickly that the texts were to arrange this game, which means he was planning it all day.

We socialise jointly with those mates too, so I'm quite embarrassed at them hearing DH speak to me in that way.

OP posts:

Original poster

AcidNails · 13/10/2013 19:58

No timetable and no permission needs to be granted. I just think that if you're going to take over the main living space of the house, showing a tiny bit of consideration to the other person probably isn't beyond the realms of reasonable behaviour.

OP posts:

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 13/10/2013 19:58

It's his space too? Why not go out? Online? Read? Lots to do other than tv.

Original poster

AcidNails · 13/10/2013 19:59

But I will be creating a mancave at the earliest opportunity!

OP posts:

Strumpetron · 13/10/2013 20:00

He asked you was it okay to go on it. You said yes, so he did. You had a go at him for eating a sweet for gods sake, and now you're not happy because you don't think he was showing you consideration?

I just don't really know what you want from him.

Strumpetron · 13/10/2013 20:00

A mancave is a great thing!

FunkyBoldRibena · 14/10/2013 08:09

I spent £10k getting a garden room for my man. Worth every penny. And best thing is the Step Thing also uses it.

thebody · 14/10/2013 08:24

I assumed this was what kids do as my lads, 24 and 22 are like this. you could of course actually be this age.[ grin]

I then realise we too were parents at that age and no can't see either me or dh doing this... as these games didn't exist then. but he did go fishing and that lasts a bloody day.

still it's his relaxing time and I am reliably informed that games take this long, personally I would have cracked open a bottle of wine and decamped upstairs with a good book.

depends though on your situation. if kids small and demanding attention I would be pissed off if not then no.

speaking to you disrespectfully isn't in although I know from my lads in the Throes of a game they can get wrapped up in it and dismissive.

thebody · 14/10/2013 08:27

to add what ways did you fantasise? death by sweet?

pixiepotter · 14/10/2013 08:31

If a man posted about fantasisng about ways of murdering his wife, I wonder what teh reponses would be.

thebody · 14/10/2013 08:46

I think it's called a joke pixie.

thebody · 14/10/2013 08:47

unlike your vile posts re the McCann case.

you have been reported so I expect you are happy now.

comingalongnicely · 14/10/2013 08:47

Lots of "reasonable" people on here who'd let their DP do this. My DW didn't enjoy listening to the same old sounds for hours on end, I ended up buying headphones so now she doesn't hear it at all & can sit there reading while I'm playing.

Before that it was nigh on impossible, I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing if the kids were playing & at the end of the day it's meant to be a comfortable communal room so I don't think you're BU.

Maybe next time when he's texting his mates to arrange the game, you should be texting yours & inviting them to meet you at the pub!

comingalongnicely · 14/10/2013 08:48

Christ, who invited the bloody McCanns to this thread? Haven't they got enough of their own now? Came here to get away from the wretched people....

thebody · 14/10/2013 08:59

apologise coming, you are right.

op ways and means please.

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