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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being over sensitive about by AP

11 replies

Ange288 · 13/10/2013 11:34

I have an AP that frankly I feel is trying to take over my home.
She started really well, playing with children tidying children's bedrooms and doing light chores. She was a godsend. Me and my DH work full time. She is paid £100 a week and has every weekend off. Both children are in full time school.
My DH has been away for a few months and this is where it all starts.
Whilst he was away the chores became a challenge for her to do. The children have become miserable and don't find her fun. She stomps around the house with attitude.
My youngest is 4 and she expects him to act like a 10 yr old. She no longer likes to be apart of the family and sits upstairs to eat.
I had sky fitted in her room and she has the internet. I have asked her what has happened and she says nothing.
She has asked for more money because my son can be challenging at times( just being a typical 4 yr old boy)
She complains to me about everything and never focuses on the good things the children have done that day.
The food shop is becoming all about her and the whole thing is driving me mental.
She decided one day to change my kitchen round because she thought it looked better. I was so angry I told her to put everything back.
My husband has now been home for 3 days and it's like a new girl in the house.
On Saturday I stayed in bed and my DH got up with the children. She came down sat in the living room played with the children the cleaned the kitchen! She has never been down on a Saturday. This morning there is no sign of her. Not that I expect her to be but why did she do it yesterday? She constantly asking where my DH is.
She has started to discipline my children at the dinner table without clearing the punishment through me which I am so angry over. She has stopped them having afters if they don't keep their mouths closed whilst eating.
I am so angry I want her gone at Christmas but as each day goes by I want my house back. I feel I am loosing control. She never complains about the kids to my DH only to me.
Am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 13/10/2013 11:38

If I was you, I would give her her notice. Nicely. I wouldn't want to live with someone who was annoying me or making me feel uncomfortable.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 13/10/2013 11:38

Why are you waiting till Christmas? Get rid now!

Salmotrutta · 13/10/2013 11:39

So she is better when your DH is around?

Two possibilities maybe?

She is trying to impress him (for some reason - does she fancy him maybe?) or she feels you can be treated badly but he can't?

Sounds to me like she has good terms and conditions with you!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 13/10/2013 11:41

Sounds to me like she has a major crush on your DH.

FunkyBoldRibena · 13/10/2013 11:43

You need to give her notice now, before this escalates.

SavoyCabbage · 13/10/2013 11:44

Au pairs and nannies can fall for their bosses as they see them as being rich and successful. Where as the truth is usually they are just 20 years further on in their lives.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 13/10/2013 11:44

Eh no ask her to leave after an appropriate notice period.

PerpendicularVince · 13/10/2013 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ange288 · 13/10/2013 11:57

My DH is totally behinds me but can't really see at at the minute navies he has only been back 3 days. I don't want to get rid of her before Christmas only because she already has her flight booked and paid for.
I think a crush maybe what it is or she thinks she needs to impress him because she thinks if she showed him a happy au pair he won't get rid of her.
Just this morning I put a bin in the kitchen and she came out and said your DH does not like bins to be inside the house. I said ok and left it there. She then went and told him lol. He said so what and walked off.
Not that I think I am the boss of this house far from it but I do believe she thinks she can somehow get my DH to side with her. She came to us with a sob story that her last family told her to leave because the DH said she turned his wife against him. She really has picked the wrong couple if she thinks she can have success with that. I really wish she had not bought her flight already.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 13/10/2013 12:00

I wouldn't give a shiny shit about her flight! Get her a new flight if you must. Don't let her tell you where to put the bins in your own house!

PoppyAmex · 13/10/2013 12:02

If you're feeling guilty about the flight, throw money at the problem and offer to book her a new one.

I don't think anyone should have to tolerate being made uncomfortable in her own home.

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