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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Designated driver...

10 replies

Loopylala7 · 12/10/2013 23:10

If you offer a friend a lift on a night out, should it be you or the friend who dictates when you leave? Was a little taken aback to be told that we should leave as getting a little late (for them not me). Had it been me accepting the lift I would have said, not to worry I would get a taxi as wouldn't have been more than £4 at most for the tiny distance.

OP posts:
BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor · 12/10/2013 23:12

I'd either leave when the driver was ready to or get a taxi.

TrinityRhino · 12/10/2013 23:13

I would leave when the driver leaves

if I wanted to go early I would get a taxi

CocacolaMum · 12/10/2013 23:13

If I am driving I choose when and what the music is. They are just the rules.

Loopylala7 · 12/10/2013 23:15

Hmmm, maybe I was a bit of a walk over as just relented, then regretted it later. Don't think I'll be so forthcoming with lift offers to particular friend from now on!

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 12/10/2013 23:16

oh yes driver chooses the music

whois · 12/10/2013 23:28

Whoever is driving gets to decide time of arriving, leaving, and music. Obviously.

BackforGood · 12/10/2013 23:28

Do you mean lift home, at the end of the night?
When the arrangements were being made, I'd have sorted out that kind of detail - so "Thanks, but I do want to be home by x o'clock" so I'll drive myself / get a lift in with you and get a taxi back" type of thing, which obviously leaves you free to say "that's fine" or "Well, I prob won't stay late either" or whatever suits you.
If the person has unexpectedly wanted to go home early (say, developed a headache / other illness) I'd expect them to suggest a taxi, but would expect the driver to say "Don't be silly, I'll take you".
As the driver, I wouldn't jump to demands, but with all social situations,(like splitting the bill or not) it always helps if everyone's clear what you all want to do from the outset.

Loopylala7 · 12/10/2013 23:32

Well I offered lift there, but no discussion had about expectations of leaving at x time

OP posts:
verytellytubby · 12/10/2013 23:42

Driver is in charge. I'm never the designated driver Wink

SummerHoliDidi · 12/10/2013 23:50

I'm always the designated driver. My passengers go home when I tell them to :) If they want to go home before I do then they get a taxi or organise a lift with someone else.

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