To let this upset me

[GeeTeeEff]

I've just worked a 12 hr shift, arrived home from work at 6pm. DH was meant to take dd to an event that was being held today in the next village but didn't. She was really looking forward to it and all her friends were going. He said he forgot what time it started. This annoyed me firstly.

Secondly, Ds phoned at 7pm to say he was just leaving his friends house and would be home in 15 minutes. I said either me or his dad would pick him up from the shop next to his friends as it was getting dark. I asked H if he could go as I was just about to get in the shower. He huffed and puffed and left to get him. As soon as he left ds calls back saying his friends mum was now dropping him home. I tried to call H to tell him this but his phone was sitting in the kitchen.

10 mins later H comes back, storming in saying he's not there, where the hell is he, why couldn't he have walked. I told him to calm down and if he had taken his phone I'd have been able to let him know. He continues shouting the odds and basically being a twat.

I'm now in my room totally fucking scunnered and upset that he does nothing for or with the dc's and caused an atmosphere. I know he works long hours too and his day off was today but so do I.

Sorry that was longer than intended. I'm just so tired. I know if I try and discuss it I'll blow up. I can't remember the last time he done anything with the dc's.

YANBU - he's not pulling his weight or being a good Dad, husband or even a reasonable adult.

Try to make the evening 'ok' for the kids (if they aren't already in bed)

Tell DH you need to talk - but not tonight

After that, read a book/feck about on MN/phone a friend

He needs telling - but when you are calmer & less tired - well, at the very least, calmer.

Yanbu, sounds like he really needs to take a more active interest in what his own dc are doing.
You have been at work, he doesn't need to be reminded of every single thing. If he had spoken to your dd he would have known the details regarding the event.

The DS incident, not your fault. How he reacted to this is not acceptable. But for tonight it's not worth your energy to talk to him about this now. As he has been in a mood the kids will probably be a bit upset. Go spend time with your kids, watch a movie together.

i'd be pissed off about DD missing her event

the other thing? not so much. he forgot his phone, hardly the crime of the century. and i'd be pretty annoyed with ds given that you told him someone was coming to get him, if he then chose to get a lift home. why didn't he tell the friends mum that one of you was on your way?

maybe he came storming in because he was worried about ds?

Thanks Chipping that wine looks appealing.

He's gone to bed coffeetea just going to watch a movie with dc's.

Bundaberg, I just thought I'd be able to contact H on his phone. In hindsight telling ds to stay put would have probably been the most sensible thing.

Just to add Bundaberg, he wasn't worried about ds. He was moaning because he thought ds had called to ask for a lift home. I told him I offered to pick him up because it was getting dark. Normally I'd have picked him up but didn't think it would be a problem for H to do it as I was just about to go in the shower.