AIBU or was this Kale Stealer the absolute limit?

[ScarerStratton]

In Morrisons, doing the shopping. It's packed, and I couldn't reach the vegetables. So I asked, very politely, the woman in front of me if she could pass me 2 packs of kale.

She looked at me. Took all FIVE packs of kale (the very last of it) off the shelf, and put them all in her trolley.

Then she looked at me again, and waltzed off. WITH MY KALE IN HER FUCKING TROLLEY.

AIBU to bitchslap her? I had to buy something called Cavolo Nero, and I have to cut it up myself.

Cavolo Nero is far more fashionable, so you win in the end.

But she STOLE MY KALE

Is it? I've never heard of it, in that case I'm somewhat amazed that it's made it to Turnipville where I live.

She clearly thinks she has won in some way - but comfort yourself by thinking just how farty 5 bags of Kale will make her. She will blow up like a sulphurous, malodorous balloon!

YABU. She took one look at you and decided you were undeserving of kale. She kept the kale for its own protection.

Cavolo Nero is Kale. So really, don't worry. You got the better deal there.

Why didn't you follow her discreetly and nick two packs from the trolley?

Marmalade ??

Damn I could have done that Clara. I so could have done that. And is Cavolo Nero really kale? It does look remarkably like it.

HAH!

My packet of CN was 50% cheaper than her beastly fart inducing kale. Suck on that Kale Stealer.

Spinach.

I fucking hate spinach. Next time I'm going to stalk her, and replace her stuff with shite substitutes.

you should have done what Clara said

Who on gods green earth needs five packs of kale!? You should have shadowed her and ninja'd them back!

I've never had kale . Is it like posh cabbage?

I would have been tempted to reach into her trolley, retrieve two bags of kale with a haughty "Er thank you very much" and flounce off with my nose in the air. Would probably have led to kale carnage mind.

It's not just Kale sweetie, it's Tuscan Kale. There are loads of varieties but this one is extremely cultured.

Kale's s'luverly stuff. We toast it in coconut oil, and it goes just like the seaweedy stuff you get with your Chinese. We love it.

It's a very earthy taste and it cooks down to nothing, ends up looking like seaweed, and thrown in the bin as it stays on the plate.

Gosh the things people will do to retain the upper hand over someone, the woman was mad, please tell me you stalked her and nicked it back.

Nrxt time you see Kale Stealer put chocilate and porridge into her trolley, and remove all kale present.

And shout "Where's the car Horace?"

No, just say 'well you obviously need it more than me' and walk off sniggering.

YY Clara - I think it is gross! But what an atrocious cunt that woman was. Probably didn't even know what it was just "must have" mentality.

How come your supermarket only had five bags left? Ours usually has tons left, no one buys it. Curly kale is pretty to grow in the garden- but actually eat it???

Who the fuck needs five packs of kale?

I steam it on the hob and add a bit of butter and black pepper, yum.

Spiteful woman!

I bet she dumped four bags in the biscuit aisle.

I want to hear from Kale Stealer!