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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help! DD aged 8 is asking about father christmas

70 replies

Canthaveitall · 11/10/2013 20:14

I am on here for traffic.

DD aged 8 has just landed the 'is father christmas real' question on me. A boy at school told her he is not. She is sobbing and has asked me for a straight answer. Just putting DS to bed - what do I say? The truth or some twist to make the magic last. Feel very she no longer believes. Yes I know that's a bit silly.

OP posts:

pixiepotter · 12/10/2013 19:41

when they are starting to ask questions , then you have to tell the truth, otherwise you are crossing the boundary between playing along with a fantasy and lying.
I am utterly gobsmacked at kids believing at 8 yrs old let alone 11 and 12.

SatinSandals · 12/10/2013 19:44

When mine asked me,around the age of 8yrs, I just told them. They had really figured it before that with questions about chimneys etc. I explained they had to keep it secret for younger children to have fun and that I was a firm believer in Father Christmas, which I am. It didn't stop the stockings.

SatinSandals · 12/10/2013 19:45

I would be a bit worried if they hadn't questioned it by then.

Topseyt · 12/10/2013 19:54

Mine had well and truly sussed it by that age, but we all still like to pretend anyway.

foreverondiet · 12/10/2013 21:12

Tell her of course. I don't believe in lying to my DC. DS1 didn't lose first tooth until 7.5 and already by that point he knew no tooth fairy. She asked you directly so tell her the truth.

Tw1nkle · 12/10/2013 21:19

I have a plan for when my DD asks.

I'm going to tell her about how 'Santa' came about.....about St Nicholas......and explain it that way, about the history behind it and why it's nice to carry on the tradition.....

Scholes34 · 12/10/2013 22:46

OMG! IS SANTA NOT REAL??

dubstarr73 · 13/10/2013 01:48

My ds about the same age as your lo said this to me a few years back.Now it does depend on your kids,i tried tha
t what do you think and i got the eyebrow raised at me.So i said if i tell you the truth you wont blab to other kids.He said no he wouldnt.So i told the truth and do you know what he never once opened his mouth to anyone..including his older brother i kid you not
Now if ere is any way they still believe i wouldt but my son said phew thats grand now i know what you were doing in Smyths a few weeks back.Dont underestimate them would be my view

superstarheartbreaker · 13/10/2013 08:15

I think father Christmas is lovely for children. 8 is about rigjt to fibd the truth but all the cat bum mouths about lying to kids is kill joy in extreme imo.
There are too many harsh realities ib this world. Kids need a bit of magic. There is no excitment like waiting for santa on xmas eve!

paperlantern · 13/10/2013 09:06

why on earth would you tell kids he's not real? he's real to me

father Christmas is a little bit of magic. everyone enjoys a little bit of magic. does it really matter how the magic happens?

pixiepotter · 14/10/2013 08:20

why on earth would you tell kids he's not real?

because he isn't.Trust is crucial to a relationship, and many parent very rightly, are uncomfortable with telling their children barefaced lies, when questioned directly.

Scholes34 · 14/10/2013 10:29

Father Christmas exists as a concept. It's part of what makes members of the Scholes household produce nice surprises for each other over the Christmas period. With DCs aged 16, 15, 13 and 48, we still leave mince pies and sherry for Father Christmas, because he deserves it for helping to bring the magic of Christmas to our house.

NewBlueShoesToo · 14/10/2013 10:33

You could always make sure that FC delivers presents that the children think you find unsuitable. That keeps them guessing. For example, I don't allow bubble gum and FC always delivers it, also computer games, a new hat when you've just bought one.

Whereisegg · 14/10/2013 10:48

Ds(6) told me earlier this year - "I don't believe in God or Santa. I'm too much of a scientist"

GalaxyDefender · 14/10/2013 11:25

Aww, your poor DD. At least she seems to be okay with the explanation you've given her and hopefully won't spread it to other children. It's such a shame when the magic is gone, but as others have said you can keep it alive in different ways that don't need belief, as such.

I was six when I found out Santa didn't exist - being a nosy bugger, I went snooping for Christmas presents in mid-December, and found a stash in my mum's wardrobe. My world came crashing down when, come Christmas morning, my brother had one of those presents in his stocking.

paperlantern · 14/10/2013 14:03

pixie - you are very wrong. santa does exist to those who believe.

and if you look at the explanation I would give to a child I never lie once.

KellyElly · 14/10/2013 14:14

Is Santa not real???

paperlantern · 14/10/2013 14:18

it much the same as the explanation you give a child about a magic trick

the magician says look I'm going to pull the rabbit from the hat

you say "look the man just pulled a rabbit out of a hat"

the child says "how?"

you say "Magic"

it's a miserable sod that actually explains the trick to a child, ruining for anyone in ear shot.

the essence of magic is that the magician lies to us, we know magic doesn't exist. but we don't care because knowing would ruin our enjoyment of the trick

paperlantern · 14/10/2013 14:33

ps in this house hold we also "believe" in goblins and dragons

it amuses us

twinkletoedelephant · 14/10/2013 16:05

Dd is 7 she asked I said it was very simple if you believe you hang a stocking and get some presents if your lucky if you don't believe you don't get presents and have to help mummy do all the cooking on Xmas day :)

She said she will believe untill she is 47 ;)

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