To make a complaint to neighbours

[LadyRabbit]

God I feel middle aged about this. But here goes...
Had great neighbours for years, good friends, never a cross word. Lovely neighbours sadly sell and move. They sold to someone who has now converted the house into student accommodation. Well, I was a student once and fairly respectful of neighbours even though I had my moments of, shall we say, youthful exuberance, so I didn't think too much of it.

For a while it was all fine, not too raucous. And they're friendly so I was hopeful it would continue to be okay.

However, since the beginning of Sept, nearly every evening from about 7pm - shortly after I get through the door from work - they start playing music. It's not that it's deafeningly loud, or death metal. Just standard issue dance / drum and bass - and that's the problem. Gut busting bass coming through the walls that's impossible to drown out with telly or chat or normal goings on in a home. What I wouldn't give to just sit in my sitting room and watch a movie or play with my DC without the constant thud through the walls. On the plus side, it usually ends by about 11pm.

However, I feel a bit hypocritical complaining as my DC is three and quite noisy in the mornings, he generally has a tantrum upon waking around 7M and is grumpy for a good twenty minutes. Obviously we do our best to keep him quiet, as much for our own ears as for neighbours. We also have a dog who loves barking at the doorbell, but again, we try to keep this to an absolute minimum. We never play loud music or make DIY noise etc.

Still, it's really stressing me out coming home every evening and having this thudding noise on in the background. I'm also aware that the property is owned by one of the students' parents, so it is virtually owner occupied and they might be les obliging as a result. My DH hears it but is less bothered by these things.

AIBU? If I'm not, what is the best way to deal with this without coming across as a hypocrite and/or old woman?

Not unreasonable at all!! The child crying and music playing two completely different things. Music is a choice to play and a child crying is absolutely not something you have deliberately done!

Obviously, it needs to be handled intelligently for fear of creating a bigger problem. I think the first thing to do would be to strike up a friendly conversation with one of the students and explain the problem in a friendly way and see if that has any impact. If it doesn't, then consider contacting the parent who owns the house.

Good luck!

You could ask them if they would mind turning the volume a little lower. However tbh you have a dog that barks and DS who you say has tantrums, so it does seem as though they might be putting up with the noise just as much.

You could try asking them into your house in the afternoon, to see how loud the Bass is?

And then accept being asked to theirs in the morning to see how loud your DC is?

Then come to an amicable arrangement?

I would speak to them and not let it fester. You would not be unreasonable to do that.

Agh, I hate to say this, but I think YABU.

They make noise from 7pm-11pm. You make noise from 7am-whenever. If you did ask them to turn theirs down, you'd have to be prepared for them to say the same, and as you can't control the volume of your noise, it would be a bit silly.

I'm sorry... It must be really frustrating but the bright side - it'll probably only happen during term time!

I would hate this.

Trouble with drum and bass is you don't have to play it loudly at all for the bass to come through a wall, so all you can do is appeal to their good nature....

Failing that play some kind of music quite loudly at 7am when you get up ... not many students up and about at that time...

Maybe it's the position of the speakers that is the problem? Can you check if they are against the dividing wall? We live in a house with very poor sound insulation (I can hear next door peeing) but music doesn't tend to travel that badly, maybe because the toilet is against the party wall and the TV not?

Be aware of the fact that if you make a formal complaint, you will have to declare this should you ever wish to sell the house - and may effectively make your house unsaleable or difficult to sell in the process.

I don't think it would that unreasonable to have a chat with them about it in a low key friendly way.

What DSM said.

It's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

Personally I would find baby + barking dog waaaay more irritating than 4 hours relentless annoying boom boom boom, but really you are both managing your individual situations as well as poss.

Sorry. YBVU.

Take round a crate of beer/ few bottles of wine

say Hi - just to let you know we are pretty relaxed but we can hear you music through the walls at x time and its just at the time DC is going to sleep and its causing us problems because he won't sleep (lie if you have to) would you mind turning down the bass setting and turning it down a little? We know you are young and will spoil your fun a bit so heres a drink to say thanks.

They will be mortified, apologetic and chuffed that they get free booze I can assure you. If you come across moany neighbour they wont care and will carry on but bribes work wonders and will endear them to you!

Go and talk to them - they're students not alien life form!

• you to them!! and make them more likely to be a bit more considerate.

I've had a similar problem and they just hadn't realised that anyone else could here them posh boys all used to living in detached houses in the country

Thanks for the very helpful replies. I think I shall do as WestmorlandSausage suggests as they are sweet lads (and yes, v v posh!) so I would like to keep it friendly.

Bloody sub-woofers. The music doesn't even have to be loud for it to penetrate the walls. And our shared walls are very thick (old houses) but it still cuts through.

I would ask them to try turning the bass down and moving the speakers - emphasise that you want to try sorting it out amicably rather than making it in to an issue - which means sort it out or I'll take it further :-)

but if it is mainly the bass then turning the bass down, moving speakers and maybe putting something soft under then speakers could make a big difference - how they respond to a nice request put in a friendly way will let you know whether they're reasonable or not.

Do you think there could be a link between your DS tantrumming every morning and the constant thump thumping of bass disturbing sleep every night?

AIBU to make a complaint to neighbours?

They have a kid who goes off at 7am EVERY single morning, weekends included! - and tantrums and screams for like half an hour. They also have a dog who barks constantly at the slightest thing.

The thing is though is that we are students so I feel a bit hypocritical as we do love to listen to our music, HOWEVER we are very considerate and only play this in the evenings and then, only until 11pm which is unheard of amongst our friends, so I do feel we are bending over backwards for them - but the constant screaming and barking is driving us CRAZY.

AIBU?

I don't think you're being too unreasonable - They probably don't realise you can hear it. I'd mention it in passing, gently and nicely.

However, why on earth does it matter if they are practically owner-occupiers? Do renters deserve less respect? However they come to live there, it is their home, and they are your neighbours.

YANBU. I would find this so stressful, especially every night. I would have a chat with them and see how you get on.

No Marcheline, you misunderstood me. Renters don't deserve less respect! It's just that it is sometimes easier to complain to a landlord or estate agent if the occupiers aren't reasonable.

Re. The dog - barks when the doorbell goes off sometimes not always! And re. DC it's not every morning either and rarely at weekends because we don't have to get up at 7. I was just trying to be fair and not pretend that we are mice like in our noise levels.