To not want to see my friend anymore?

[rach6122]

So called best friend has been off with me since I got married and had baby. She went away for a few months and she was supposed to come to see me before she went but ended up cancelling, so u didnt see her for about a month before she left. She has now been back about five weeks. She has seen everyone apart from me. Every week she says let's do something next week, but then when the week comes its I'm too busy this week, lets do next. So this week she was going to contact me to see me. Now being Friday the week has passed and no a word until today asking to see me next week. I haven't replied as I'm so annoyed at being out bottom of the pile. She shows no interest in my daughter and has seen her about 3 times since she was born and is now 9 months. We used to party together all the time, she is free single etc whereas I am not (but v happy about that) and I think now she just sees me as the boring mum. Aibu to think if she was a good friend she would still make the effort? Don't feel like seeing her now :(

Hmm. But she has a firm date for you now? Do see her. She may have more going on than you realise.

don't see her then? ...problem solved

Mr tumbles yes my dh just said you've described her to a tee! Longtalljosie yes she suggested weds next week so I've just said great lets do dinner? So shall have to wait and see!

You want companionship.
She wants someone to go out drinking with and meet men.

Maybe the friendship was based on going out on the pull and now you guys no longer have that in common.

Personally I'd be pissed off if the friend was constantly saying lets meet up, then was busy. I'd want to point out it was them that wanted to meet.

:( good luck *Rach - my long term time best friend was like that. We were available to each other at the drop of a hat for over a decade, then I moved abroad for a year, and when I came back she was in a busy little bee mode, with the whole getting her diary out to schedule when she could meet and muttering about how busy she was (this was in the days of a paper diary, about 15 years ago) :/ I did find then that if I wanted to see her and said "the only day I can do in the next couple of weeks is a week on Tuesday, 8pm in such and such a bar suit you?" she'd always make it! She got a lot of her self worth from being "in demand" I think.

Not seen or heard from her in year and years now though, it became too much of a game, esp once we both moved away. Pity as we were great friends for 15 years or so...

This has happened to me twice in the past, once with a very close friend. Both times it turned out to be the death throes of the friendship. To paraphrase the saying, if someone is making you an option rather than a priority it means their feelings have changed for whatever reason. If you want to see people you will make the time no matter what, and you certainly won't repeatedly cancel on them. The respect is definitely gone as soon as that starts happening.

I would say listen to your gut feeling. Both times it happened to me I tried to spin their behaviour to come up with an explanation that didn't mean our friendship was over, as that was a very sad thought. And I kept suggesting meet ups and trying to act as if nothing was wrong. But I was desperately trying to drown out that little voice screaming at me that they really weren't that into me anymore.

Molly - that's crossed my mind sadly!

She is definitely a busy bee type she has a diary for her social life etc. I definitely feel like an option rather than priority. Ill see what happens re Wednesday, she might cancel again, if not ill say how I feel and after that see how it goes, but think most of you are right it may have run its course :(

Isn't having a diary for your social life quite a normal thing to do?