Aibu to move jobs when about to start ivf

[roastednut]

Would appreciate any views on this. We're most likely going to have another round of ivf in the next 6 months. I had my last round last year whilst in current role and altho work was hard/stressful they were pretty supportive on the whole.

I've now been offered a new role (same company) but new manager. I do want the role but I feel a bit bad about the possibility of going through the appointments etc involved in ivf in a new job.

I'm thinking of talking to the new line manager prior to officially accepting the role to see what their opinion is. At least then I've been upfront and honest.

I can't put treatment off as I'm 40. Aibu to consider doing this?

I would move jobs anyway, based on my own (bitter!) experience.

I stayed for about five years in a dead-end job because we were ttc. Had long talks with my boss, turned down opportunities and promotions....all because of the baby that was going to come along any day....

Except it was 5 years later when we finally did conceive (after fertility treatment). I killed my career stone dead. Came back from maternity leave and they made me redundant.

I hope for you more than anything that you conceive soon. But in case you don't, I would carry on in your career as if there were no planned pregnancy, you then keep your options open.

Good luck with your IVF!

Thank you both. I could so easily stay put but I'm pretty miserable. I'm just scared of the unknown (especially the unknown plus ivf).

yanbu

Do it. It will make you feel happier and that is only a good thing. I have had IVF twice and haven't let it hold me back in applying for jobs or moving around. if you were able to conceive naturally, you probably wouldn't think twice about it. Good luck

Wow thanks for the comments all really appreciate it. I guess it's a bit of both, fear of new job stress (including what are the people like, will they be nice etc) and a bit of am I seriously pissing them about by doing this. I'll go for it, it's what I want to do

You really can't not do things because of the IVF because then if it doesn't work you will have another thing to be upset/annoyed/resentful about.
I went through 4 cycles - first 2 I turned things down and put my life on hold so as not to put bosses out etc.
3rd and 4th go - I just got on with things including applying for and starting a masters funded by my work. I'm so pleased I did as I never did get pregnant but at least I had other good stuff going on in my life.

And there aren't that many appointments really, it's more that you can't be certain what days you'll need right up until you need them!

I would take the new job and not approach your new manager in advance - that's almost like giving them permission to feel put out over a few days off that are really very very important to you.

Yanbu go for it.