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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Time off work at Christmas

125 replies

Weeantwee · 10/10/2013 11:44

DH has had to work every Christmas Eve and Boxing day for the past 6 years (he works in retail) and on most of these occasions he has either been happy to do so (he's a 'yes' person) or been told that there is no one else and he has to work.

This year we want to spend Christmas with my family who live nearly 300 miles away. DH has never spent Christmas away from his family and this is the first Christmas since we've been married. But he has been told yet again that he needs to work. This time the reason he has been given, by the new boss is 'priority has to be given to students whose family homes are far away and staff who have children.'

AIBU to think that DH is being unfairly treated because he is a full time employee and hasn't impregnated his wife yet?!

Maybe that's going a bit far, but I'm upset that as our first Christmas as a married couple I'm having to choose between staying with DH or going down to my mum who I don't see often and who also turns 60 on Boxing day :(

OP posts:
olgaga · 10/10/2013 14:49

The point JudgeJodie is correctly making is that there has to be some kind of organisation, some kind of policy in place. Otherwise everyone would have Christmas off and shops would be closed at the busiest time of year.

It's the same with wanting holiday during the school holidays - it's the only time parents can take their holidays so it would be absurd to insist that parents take their holidays in September.

Lifeisontheup · 10/10/2013 14:52

I do feel for you. We are a 24 hour 365 day a year service and Christmas/New year just go on rota's. Unfortunately the rota means we can go 6+ years without having either Christmas or New Year off, there is no allowance for having children, being Christian or anything else.
Not much help to you but it could be worse, hope you get something sorted.

TheCrackFox · 10/10/2013 14:56

I'm stunned that any retail business would allow anytime off over Christmas.

olgaga · 10/10/2013 15:03

CrackFox quite. An ideal place to work and keep your head down if you're planning a family, I'd have thought.

flowery · 10/10/2013 15:04

Peppi Hermione has said nothing that contradicts my advice.

Although I do think she should immediately sue for a comfier chair... Wink

passmetheprozac · 10/10/2013 15:14

The people who are getting xmas off, are they part time employees?

Because that may have something to do with it. I have worked in retail for 12 years. Xmas day is usually my given day off. But I signed up for it when I went into retail.

My staff range from 8-40hr contracts. Up until xmas week I have extra hours to spend. From Xmas week on wards it is contracted hours only. I can't as much as I want to give full time employees extra time off, there is an embargo on holidays from the end of October until the 2nd week of Jan. Myself as well as all other full timers work either Xmas or New Year, by this I mean Xmas eve or Boxing day and xmas day off, or new years eve and new years day off. That is our two days off.

The people who have been given time off may only have small contracts. But to specifically say that it because someone is a student (the time off may be pre approved on acceptance of the job) or parents is wrong in my vho.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 10/10/2013 15:17

I was a bar supervisor and worked every xmas eve, xmas day, boxing day, new years eve and new years day for 11 years even when ds and dd1 were born. It was annoying (in the run up) knowing I was going to have to work but during the actual Christmas period it was a blast. Most years we set a space for a fellow bar worker (usually a student) at the table and I made some good friends. One lad whose family were holidaying in the Caribbean joined us for christmas and said he had loved it. The following year he arranged a free weekend away at his parents 5 star spa resort in ireland for us. :o

olgaga · 10/10/2013 15:19

The reason they allow students time off at Christmas is, as motheroftwoboys pointed out upthread, because they rely on students to do temp Christmas work. They'd probably be unable to recruit as many Christmas temp staff as they need in the run-up to Christmas if they insisted they worked it.

SoonToBeSix · 10/10/2013 15:24

I think yabu the people who have dc's should get priority because it is prioritising children getting to spend Christmas with their parents not really the other way round. Would you really want a young child not to be able to spend Christmas day with their mum or dad so you as an adult couple can spend the day together?

SPBisResisting · 10/10/2013 15:25

This thread must be frustrating flowery. No sooner had you cleared up one poster's misconceptions when another came on and said "that's illegal discrimination! "

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 10/10/2013 15:29

SoonToBeSix so do you think DP & I should leave our widowed parents on their own?

olgaga · 10/10/2013 15:33

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime Our widowed parents used to come to us. Is that not possible?

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 10/10/2013 15:36

and our grandmas?
and DPs disabled brother and uncle?
who would drive them?

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 10/10/2013 15:37

(sorry the point was they have responsibilities so cannot just stay with us)

olgaga · 10/10/2013 15:42

We used to drive them. But if they have "responsibilities", then they're not alone at Christmas.

The point is that there are many, many jobs where Christmas working is obligatory whether you have children or not. It's hardly unusual. It might seem unfair, or fair, depending on your point of view.

Surely no-one expects to work in retail and not work at Christmas? Even if there is a rota system, depending on the size of the team and the service requirements you might only get one Christmas off every 5 years or so.

phantomnamechanger · 10/10/2013 15:44

good grief, the number of people spouting drivel on this site never ceases to amaze me - if you don't KNOW THE FACTS about something, don't just MAKE IT UP folks!

FWIW my parents both worked Christmas eve and Christmas day every single year when I was a kid (both ordained clergy) - we DID NOT miss out in any way shape or form by having our big family Christmas day dinner on 26th, and visiting family over new year instead.

OP, think yourself lucky if DH has a secure job, so many in retail have been lost, so many shops that were on the high street 2 years ago have gone for good. So many will struggle to afford a "nice" dinner, with extra luxuries over christmas, and many will only be buying their kids a few second hand things.

SoonToBeSix · 10/10/2013 15:49

No I don't think they should be in their own , are you and your dh both only children if not why can't your siblings visit. If so just plan ahead maybe bring them too you. I just think children should be the priority at Christmas not adults even if they are elderly.

SoonToBeSix · 10/10/2013 15:50

Sorry just read they about disabled sibling. But agree with other poster if they have responsibilities they are not on their own.

londonmum14 · 10/10/2013 15:55

I've worked in 2 different retail chains and when taking on Christmas temps they were specifically told that they had to work over Christmas (thus freeing up some of the permanent staff.) In both chains they had the policy of if you worked over Christmas then you had the New Year off and vice versa. Could the OP not have her family come to her? If OP's DH doesn't have a set rota just a set number of hours over then week then it complicates things.

harverina · 10/10/2013 16:02

Phantom I'm sure the op is grateful that her dh has a secure job - he sounds as though he has been pretty accommodating all these years and not made a fuss so far...doesn't mean because you are grateful for a secure job that you let people walk over you though does it? Someone will be off Christmas week - unless it is a small store that needs all it's staff which it doesn't sound like it is.

hermioneweasley · 10/10/2013 16:16

Peppi, if anything I say ever appears to contradict flowery, you should always follow her.

On this occasion I don't think my advice did contradict, just went into a bit more detail. It's not reasonable to believe that someone can explain the intricacies of employment law in a MN post!

flowery am offended that you don't think I'm senior enough to have a ginormous chair. In fact mine has also has a lever that opens a trap door to a pit with sharks with lasers on their heads.

NicknameIncomplete · 10/10/2013 16:17

I take it ur DH doesnt work for Next because EVERYONE has to work christmas eve & boxing day.

My friends is a single mum who works there & works until 10pm xmas eve & back in at 4am boxing day. Its shit but everyone has to do it which i think makes it seem a bit better than the OPs situation where certain people are getting special treatment.

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 10/10/2013 16:18

olgaga sorry I wasn't asking for special treatment (DP is a HT and I run my own company so am ok with being at the back of the queue for holidays)

I was trying to say that everyone has responsibilities at Christmas.

(DPs father has people to look after and my mother would be on her own)

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 10/10/2013 16:18

DP is a HT = his holiday is irrelevant

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 10/10/2013 16:25

the point is, no one persons wishes should automatically trump another's.