Or perhaps just utterly pedantic, regarding the nature of 'Choice'

[RevelsRoulette]

If I am, I know I will be told (forcefully and with much swearing and I can take it

Just because you don't like your choices, doesn't mean you don't have them.

Just because choices are often between two equally shitty things, doesn't mean they aren't choices

Just because you are afraid to make a change, does not mean you are not making a choice to do nothing (doing nothing being in itself a choice)

Not wanting to do something is not the same as having no choice.

Not liking to admit that you have choices or have made choices, does not stop them from being choices

Bad choices are still choices.

You choose to do something, you don't have to do it. You only have to be ok with the consequences of your choice.

I am just so tired of arguing about the meaning of choice with my husband that it would be good to hear other views.

To be clear I don't believe in a soul or free will.

People who believe in free will often justify it by saying that upon conception each human is given a soul (religious version) or when consciousness is created by the brain then the essence of the person is created (non religious version). That soul/essence essentially is the person and us a fixed entity unchanged by time and circumstance. Because it is unchanging the soul can inform choices by freely assessing a situation. In religion the aim is to keep the soul pure as a pure soul makes "right" choices. What the soul actually is of course is totally unclear. I think it's a pleasant figment used to comfort us that we are not just pushe around by circumstance.

Ok. I dont believe in a soul or similar either. I also dont agree that having free will is the same as making a choice.

Fair enough. What's the difference?

Trills - I agree that OP is asking for a rephrasing, but I think there can actually be power in that rephrasing. Just acknowledging the reality of other options in a situation (however unpalatable) can free us to think of other solutions.

Alternatively, it can lead to the other person saying "Of course you have choices, there are always choices" and failing to be sympathetic in a horrible situation.

I agree that rephrasing can be useful for forcing yourself to acknowledge the truth of a situation.

Someone demanding a rephrasing is not going to get a good reception in the real-world situation where someone is bemoaning their lack of choices (or the rubbishness of the choices available).

I agree - however I think people would argue that they often don't choose what the choices are!

So you can't always choose what choices you'd like, only which one is the lesser evil in the choices available.

I remember at work whingeing about wanting to be abroad on holiday rather than at work. Someone said to me "you could if you really chose to". I argued the toss, but he was right.
I could walk out of my job if they refused to give me time off. I could run up debts having the holiday of my dreams if I wanted to. Some people do make these choices all the time! But I was choosing not to take that choice and was therefore choosing to keep my job and live within my means. It might not have been the choices I wanted (preferably it would have been to to have both the time off AND the money free), but that's just life!

The message I got from your original post was not about making your bed and lying in it, but that you were calling people to task over taking responsibility for their choices, even when the choices available aren't of their choice! And I completely agree with you about that.

Cailin, I agree free will is an illusion.

Choice is the act/process of using inherently incomplete information to come to a decision.

The choice is pre-ordained, but we are blissfully unaware of that.

I don't think free will and choice are incompatible.

I don't think illusory free will and choice are incompatible.

So you consider choice to be a sensation, a feeling of free will cumfy?

For humans, yes.

Computers produce emotionless and sensationless decisions/choices, so it is not inherent in the nature of choice.