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Original poster

Swimming teacher, 'booby barbie' and boys v girls.......

31 replies

SimplyRedHead · 08/10/2013 18:39

My DD1 (6) goes to swimming lessons and has a great male teacher who is very strict but loved by all the kids. He is no nonsense but lots of fun and she loves the lessons. He has nicknames for the kids and the strokes and seems to enjoy bantering with them. He also teaches my DD2 (3) and is brilliant with her.

She came out of the pool yesterday laughing about his latest 'thing'. Apparently he has a 'booby Barbie' (booby as in booby prize - not busty!) which he will present to whichever BOY is the worst swimmer each week. They have to take the booby barbie home and bring it back the following week.

I'm fairly sure he's joking although he did have a Barbie with him during the lesson. This makes me very uncomfortable for lots of reasons but mostly:

  1. singling out a child for their lack of skill
  2. belittling a child infront of peers
  3. telling the boys that if they are 'rubbish' their punishment is to have a 'girls' toy
  4. separating the boys and girls

For me it tells the boys that 'girls' toys are embarrassing and suitable for a punishment. Any boys who like Barbie are therefore weedy or 'not good'. It also associates girls with being not good at something.

There is no 'forfeit' for the worst girl.

Like I said, he is brilliant in so many ways and both my girls love him. He hasn't actually given the doll to anyone and I'm 99.9% sure he wouldn't.

I would like to raise it with him but the lesson handovers are complete chaos so it's not something I could casually raise with him - I'd have to email or make a real effort to grab him and take him to one side.

Am I being over sensitive. I'm sure I'll get some
'he's a knob' replies but I really don't think he is. This is just very badly thought through.

I don't want to ruin the good relationship we have. What should I do?

OP posts:
PeriodFeatures · 08/10/2013 18:50

Gosh, well it depends on the child and on the spirit in which 'booby barbie' is presented.

It could be bloody awful and shaming, or be a bit of fun which builds up resilience.

Either way, there won't be one child in that swimming class who won't see a Barbie without thinking of 'Boobie Barbie' Not a bad thing. Barbie is hideous!

MurderOfBanshees · 08/10/2013 18:53

Is it possible he just happened to have a Barbie there (maybe left by another child) ad he was making a joke of it rather than actually intending on using it as a booby prize?

If he's actually intending on using it that way then that's a really bad way of doing things.

pixiepotter · 08/10/2013 18:54

it's just a bit of fun.I doubt they actually take it home he'll justwave it in front of them and say 'who's going to win the booby barbie today'
he sounds like a fun teacher please don't spoil their fun by going all worthy and earnest!

WorraLiberty · 08/10/2013 18:55

I think it's funny

I imagine the kids do too

Catsize · 08/10/2013 18:58

I would be uncomfortable too.

Igloofornow · 08/10/2013 19:01

He sounds fun, and rather like DS1's swimming teacher.

Despite 6 years in a house with no gender specific toys DS runs shrieking from barbies, he would find this horrifying and hilarious - I have noticed in his lessons the teacher has to work harder to stop the boys from messing around, this might help him Wink

It's only barbies DS hates, he loves Sofia the first!

harticus · 08/10/2013 19:02

He sounds like a dick. I wouldn't want my DS around that kind of stupidity.

Original poster
SimplyRedHead · 08/10/2013 22:15

Thanks for your responses. I really don't want to go piling in hoiking my boosom and clutching my pearls but at the same time, if he carries on I may not be able to control myself.

Good point about the boys being harder to maintain interest from, but in his case the boys get on with it and the girls all stand around chattering and waving to their mums!

The one really good thing is that my DD was horrified at the thought of having to even touch a Barbie because 'it's stupid and disgusting'!

OP posts:
Original poster
SimplyRedHead · 08/10/2013 22:16

I'll leave him a couple of weeks and see what happens but they do seem to find the whole thing funny so I'm thinking I should probably back off a bit........

OP posts:
TigerBabyyy · 08/10/2013 22:32

Id see how it goes.

He does sound like he needs knocking down a peg or two though

quoteunquote · 10/10/2013 09:15

What a very odd way to teach,

What if the weakest swimmer doesn't improve, do they take it home every week?

Quite a nasty thing to do really, it's a put down.

Far better to reward whoever has improved the most,

Every single one of my children's sports classes do this (they train every day of the week), not the person who is best, but the person who has put in the most effort to improve.

Suggest he rewards the child who tried the hardest, that way he can encourage them.

Negative teaching is so last century, he needs to update his methods.

If he puts children off learning to swim, that is quite dangerous.

boardcreche · 10/10/2013 09:29

Sounds sexist to me. I wou;ld not be happy with that at all. Maybe he just hasnt thought about it.

5madthings · 10/10/2013 09:31

Sounds crap and I wouldn't be happy about it.

RabbitFromAHat · 10/10/2013 09:32

I think it sounds awful, and I would complain.

impecuniousmarmoset · 10/10/2013 09:35

If my DS came back with a 'booby prize' of a doll for being the worst at swimming, I would seriously hit the roof. Quite apart from the sexism, who on earth would think it a good idea to give a booby prize to a 6 year old for being the worst at something?!

KirjavaTheCorpse · 10/10/2013 09:37

My home economics teacher used to spray any boys who were cheeky with a squirt of perfume, so they had to walk around school for the rest of the day smelling flowery and girly. It was all tongue-in-cheek and nobody died.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it if the class are finding it funny. If the boys were getting upset about it and found it to be demeaning I'd have a word.

mortuusUrsus · 10/10/2013 09:45

Upset who you want as long as nobody dies. Nice.

Swim teacher sounds like a prick but I wouldn't bother getting involved, I'd just look for a new group to join.

KirjavaTheCorpse · 10/10/2013 09:51

Well the swimming teacher doesn't know he's upset anyone does he? He seems to be a nice guy and a good teacher otherwise.

If the OP raised her concerns about it and was ignored, then maybe calling him a prick might be a bit more understandable. Bit harsh otherwise.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 10/10/2013 09:52

I think I would email this week asking for clarification.

i.e. your dd has suggested that this is what is going to happen but you thought she must have the wrong end of the stick as it is negative, sexist teaching out of the ark not a very positive way to manage children stigmatising the weaker boy swimmers.

I would also suggest in the letter that it is not something I would want my child to be involved with and so may have to look for alternative lessons if this continued.

I think leaving it for a couple of weeks would suggest you were happy with it. He could possibly then counter with all the children love it , it's just a bit of fun. When actually it's just insidious sexism.

kim147 · 10/10/2013 11:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ICameOnTheJitney · 10/10/2013 11:25

What a big knobhead. I would never allow my children to be taught by a man like that and I would complain and tell the sports centre too. Withdraw your DC Op....it's shite.

WilsonFrickett · 10/10/2013 11:29

I would see if it happens next week before I did anything. I think - if you haven't had any problems like this before - the likeliest explanation is someone has left a barbie pool-side, he's thought of this 'hilarious' joke, he'll hand it in to lost property at the end of the day and that will be the end of it.

If I'm wrong and it re-appears next week, then yes. As the mother of a boy who tries really, really hard at his swimming but is getting nowhere fast, if he came home with any sort of booby prize I would hit the fucking roof, actually. He has enough negativity in his life without being penalised for his lack of performance at what is supposed to be a fun, confidence-building leisure activity.

anon2013 · 10/10/2013 11:32

Surely he's just trying to teach people to try harder the next week?. It's a misguided way of doing it but he's trying to instill a winning mentality into them which has become a lost art nowadays. If it's the same child each week then I'd have a problem. Speak to him if you don't feel happy, he may have a reasonable explanation for you or he may find he's had a few complain and stop doing it.

finncotta · 10/10/2013 11:35

If someone came up with idea of booby Barbie for say, a trivia night where the team in last place takes it home, I would think it was witty and amusing. (In fact might use that idea.....)

But for kids....no.

MrsCakesPremonition · 10/10/2013 11:44

It sounds like a shit idea to me.

If it was aimed at the whole class, boys and girls, it would be a bit better.
If it was aimed at the child who had disrupted the class or clearly not been trying, it would be a bit better.
It it wasn't a "girls" toy, it would be a bit better.

But it sounds ill-thought out to me and I seriously hope he drops the idea by next week.