to feel so alone!

[Smokedsalmonbagel]

My moods are so up and down and currently hit a real low patch.
I feel like I've messed loads of stuff up, lots of bad decisions. I moved away from my family before I had the boys and I miss them so much. I really envy the help my friends get from grandparents and often think how easier my life would be if they were close by.
I had trouble at work related to anxiety and cant go back.
I don't seem to make friends easily. I have loads of people I chat to but it's always me that initiates contact. I never seem to be someone who people contact.

I also have health issues which I won't get better without surgery but im not ready fo. That yet.
I know others have got loads of crap going on but I don't know who to talk to. My mum and I don't have a particularly good relationship and DH is lovely but doesn't understand.
I've been to the doc for antidepressants but by the time I got them I was feeling better. I take st john wort which generally helps but not today!

You have my sympathies and you aren't alone. There are lots of people who feel like this but things do look up. In the depths of winter you can't imagine a summers day but it does come around and things do get better, sometimes naturally and sometimes with lots of help. Talk to your dh and ask him to help you with these things xx

Yanbu.

It sounds as though you've had a really hard time. Treat yourself kindly WRT previous choices, you did what you thought was best at the time. Instead can you spend some time making a plan of action to help you move to a situation you're more happy with? Is there any possibility of moving back near to your family?

yanbu. sometimes just naming how you feel can help u begin to find a way forward... good luck x