aibu to think if youre blw then clean up after yourself!

[judgejudithjudy]

so fed up of eating out watching people doing blw & leaving a huge mess all over the floor without any attempt to clean it up!

[judgejudithjudy]

rooni - what on earth do you do at home? do you have a 24/7 cleaner or live in a shithole?

[MummytoMog]

I wondered if this was about my DH - he took 2 year old DS out to a Wetherspoons yesterday, predictably DS made a mess under the high chair and someone came over to clean it up. DH said 'oh I'll do that', was brought a dustpan and brush and then didn't do it and then was surprised when five minutes later someone came back and pointed out that he really had to clean it up. Like now.

He thought I was going to be sympathetic. I wasn't.

[MrsKoala]

I always clean up - DH not so much. But we do always leave a 20% tip. I have asked for a dust pan and brush and been told no way by staff. But at least i offered.

As for the plate stacking. I do this because the empty plates get in my way and my baby grabs everything. DH and i stack them and put them to the side and then can get on with our conversation.

[PollyIndia]

I always clear up as much as I can and ask for a dustpan and brush, though often they say not to worry. I can't believe people wouldn't. It's just good manners surely?

[Herisson]

Someone came round for lunch at my house and her BLW baby left at least an adult plate's worth of half-masticated food on the floor. It was disgusting. I also did BLW but I always always made my best effort to at the very least clean up the bits I could see (in a restaurant). And in someone else's house, I'd have asked for a floor cloth or something to give it a proper wash.

[SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten]

Ive been a waitress for years. IMO, if you let your child chuck their food everywhere, the staff will say don't bother clearing up. Mainly because they want to get your table filled again as soon as possible and they really don't need you getting in their way on their hands and knees when its busy. They will also judge you like hell!
If you are going out to eat and are weaning your child, then just for once, feed them puree, or whatever they eat, from a spoon. It wont kill them just once, and seriously, nobody wants to sit eating and have to look at your DCs half masticated food laying all over the floor and table.

[lainiekazan]

This blw business... bit profligate, 1st world idea, no?

Or can you imagine blw during the war?

Actually, even though we're 70 years past the war and not in a famine-affected country, it still seems so wasteful . I hate seeing children playing with food and smearing things around just for the hell of it.

[SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten]

The plate stacking thing is because there is an art to clearing a table. If you get them stacked properly, you can get at least a dozen plates stacked in two piles on one arm, being handed a pre piled stack makes life harder. And it doesn't help when people stack them with food and cutlery layered in between either. Its much easier to just leave them for the waitress.

[MrsKoala]

I've never done BLW by the way, but DS has torn up rolls/biscuits/chips and scattered the debris on the floor.

Eating out is eating in public and while nobody wants to sit eating and have to look at your DCs half masticated food laying all over the floor and table. as Saggy put it. There are lots of things i don't want to see either, but i accept that going out in public, i may see someone do something i find less than lovely. And if i offer to clean up, leave a good tip and apologise, i don't see how the condemnation of the waiting staff is fair in any way, so therefore don't care if they do judge us.

[MrsKoala]

But Saggy it's inconvenient for us to leave the plates for the waitstaff if they take longer than a couple of mins i stack them. I do not want to sit with dirty plates in front of me when i want to relax and lean forward to chat or have my baby on my lap. Surely that's what you are paying for when you eat out - a nice time?

[Wuxiapian]

I always clean up after DS. It wouldn't even cross my mind not to!

[SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten]

Its not about being acceptable and leaving a good tip. That is just throwing money at the problem. Just because you might see 'unacceptable' stuff in public doesn't mean you should perpetuate it surely?
Making a deliberate mess, playing lady bountiful and saying 'oh dear, so sorry, what a little tinker he is' is not acceptable. Its entitled and selfish.
If clearing that table takes staff so long that they lose custom, or cant refill it, then the restaurant has lost an entire table of revenue. a £2 tip wont fix that, will it?

[IsabelleRinging]

This is horrible, so many times I have sat down in a busy cafe, and there is food EVERYWHERE!!! Staff clearly don't have time to clean up between customers in some places as it is very busy. A quick sweep and wipe of the table is as much as is possible really and should be all that is needed.

I would just be soooo embarrassed to leave a mess like that.

[Akray]

Totally agree with beastofburden - do what you like in your own home but spoon feed / give less messy food when out and about. My 5th DC is weaning just now but I spoon her as I did my others - the mess must be horrific letting them do it themselves - I am an OCD clean freak though. Flame me now - my DC must have missed out on so much!!

YANBU.

[LostMyImagination]

I think it's got fuck all to do with BLW to be honest. If your baby/toddler makes a mess, pick up all the big bits as much as you can. Make an effort. End of story.

BLW is where you never actually put food in the childs mouth. You let them do it all. No spoon feeding. They control every morsel that goes in their mouth from day 1 of weaning.

[SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten]

Might as well put the baby in the highchair and fire the food at it with a catapult!

[MrsKoala]

But Saggy if you have offered to clean up then what more can you do? apart from give a good tip because they wouldn't let you? Should we not take our children out in case they make a mess but we are prevented from cleaning it up and then make the waitstaff angry?

Where i live there is a cafe that has banned some parents with babies and posted photos it took of under their tables on it's website. Fair enough i thought, it's probably totally disgusting wet, food, a nappy etc. But when i looked it was honestly just a few bread crumbs. I have seen more when adults eat sometimes.

There needs to be some kind of middle ground, you can't expect customers to not make a mess, but it should be within reason. A small amount of dry stuff which can be sweeped etc. Maybe the restaurants should accept that a certain amount of time spent cleaning up is part of the job and that the tables cannot be filled constantly. Profits should be able to absorb this. And here most tips are about $15-20 if you eat out. So perhaps that's why they don't mind so much.

[AndIFeedEmGunpowder]

I agree with MrsKoala.

Also don't think it follows that BLW is necessarily wasteful. Babies being BLWed are often eating food off their parents' plates so surely it is inherently less wasteful than having their own puréed lunch if anything? (Not that there is anything wrong with purée)

[SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten]

Waiting staff don't mind a 'bit of mess'. A few crumbs, some debris on the floor. An entire plate of food chewed, smushed and thrown on the floor, smeared on the table, and crushed into the Lloyd Loom dining chairs is just disgusting. By all means take your child out in public. By all means feed them, but actually feeding them, rather than just letting them trash the food around the place. I've raised 2 DCs, feeding them yourself for once won't kill them.
There is a middle ground. Everyone knows that kids aren't perfect, restaurants that are child friendly understand that, but the mess you 'allow' your child make reflects on you, not them.

As for tables not being filled constantly, that is what a restaurant does. Its a business, there to make money. Having to close half the floor because the local mother and toddler group left it looking like the Somme and it took half an hour to clean up, costs money and effects other diners. Apart from having to look at the BLW detritus, the staff who are cleaning are neglecting their other customers.
you may have enjoyed your meal, but should your behaviour affect other diners experience? Or is it ok if you leave a big tip?

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

When I did the other side for a job, it never bothered me if people didn't clean up, i'd have to do it either way, the floor still needed sweeping and the table/highchair cleaning, even if someone had washed it down with wet wipes. By all means pick up the big bits, but unnecessary effort is exactly that - unnecessary.

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

Anyway, BLW surely makes less mess, big bits are easier to clean up than puree spread around the place? That is exactly why my DCs only ever fed themselves at home!

[HorryIsUpduffed]

Yes, I always check under a table that we vacate to make sure it's no messier than if we hadn't taken the DC.

We went to a posh dinner a few months ago. MIL's SIL (keeping up?) stacked our plates at the table despite being repeatedly asked not to by her DH and the staff. Scraping a plate on to another while other people at the table are still eating is poor manners and risks putting other people off their food.

Stacking one empty plate under another so your toddler doesn't start fingerpainting with leftover gravy is just commonsense if there isn't space on the table to leave them separately.

Don't squash paper napkins into leftovers on a plate though - bleuch.

[Davsmum]

Your baby - your mess to clear up, surely?!

[katese11]

Saggy, where do you work? I don't like going to places where we get judged

Agree that puree is harder to clean than big bits of food (having been there with hummus) - and if you think that a BLW'ed baby will accept being spoon fed "just this once" then you obviously don't know many BLW'ed babies....

[SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten]

No. You are right. I haven't had 2 children. I know nothing about weaning!