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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to go into school and interfere

5 replies

badbelinda · 07/10/2013 22:12

Will try to keep this brief as poss. DS 8yrs is at a small school with composite classes. Has always got on well with his own peer group but for some reason a group of children in the 2 age groups above him have always given him a hard time. This term he's moved into the class room with them and as he's quite bright is in the same group as some of them for maths and english. I suspect this hasn't helped but he seems to be having a particularly tough time just now. 1 child is leaving the school and has put it about that the reason is because DS has been bullying him. Now the whole class (apart from DS's own age group) are ostracising. I don't think it's true, not just because he's not the bullying type (I'm sure all parents think that but he's really not) but DD (10yrs) is in the same class and would tell me pretty quickly if there was anything to it. She's actually tried standing up for DS and come in for some stick herself for this ("you're the least important person in this class because you're DS's sister" etc). I also think if DS had been bullying this child to the extent that he was leaving the school because of it, the school might have thought to speak to DH and me at some stage. Should we just let it blow over once this child leaves or should we go in and try to speak to the teachers? DS not keen that we intervene as last time we did a year or so ago it wasn't handled terribly sensitively by the school and led to more hassle for DS. I'm pretty upset about all this for DS and want to make things better for him but know that sometimes kids just have to work through these things - it particularly upsets me that it's mainly children older than him making him miserable.

OP posts:
Sparkletshirt · 07/10/2013 22:16

Could dc tell classmates exactly that, 'don't be so stupid, I/he would have got kicked out if he were a bully?

Are they jealous because he's so young?

EndoplasmicReticulum · 07/10/2013 22:16

YANBU. Sounds like they are bullying him. Also sounds like the school are not much use.

Do you have any options to move him?

MrsCakesPremonition · 07/10/2013 22:16

You need to speak to the teacher, possibly even the HT. If there is no foundation to the allegation then it sounds like your Ds is himself, a victim of bullying which needs to be dealt with.

badbelinda · 07/10/2013 22:21

I think jealousy may be a factor but this sort of low level harrassment was going on before he moved into the older class (school bus, playground etc) just seems to have escalated recently with this bullying story. (child who's leaving's older brother has made both my DCs lives fairly miserable at different times).

OP posts:
Sparkletshirt · 07/10/2013 22:31

I might be talking out my pants here as don't have school aged children, but maybe roll playing would help, or arming him with some stock phrases to defend himself? 'You're only having a go cos I'm younger than you', 'you're just jealous cos YOU never got put up 2 years ahead' 'you're thick if you believe everything you hear'.

Can't think of anymore just now (I'm really sorry if you do this already, just trying to think what I would do). The thought of dd going to school leaves me cold.

Bullies are shit aren't they?

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