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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

..to not understand how people keep their DC's toys pristine, with all the bits and generally pass onable

69 replies

idiuntno57 · 07/10/2013 19:54

With x4 DC I appreciate that toys get a bit of a bashing in our house.

But even when they are new within minutes they've been deconstructed, turned into a different game, been sat on, sucked up by the hoover etc. etc.

I have friends who appear to be able to sell toys their kids have grown out of on eBay. Despite spending my life rebuilding Tracey Island, going through the hoover bag for bits of playmobil and putting the coins back in the toy till I doubt I'd get takers on freecycle.

AIBU to think that actually they just wave the toys in front of their kids, wrap them back up and then pop them in a cupboard so they can stay nice?

OP posts:

MrsOakenshield · 07/10/2013 20:58

well, I have just the one DD and she is, of her own accord, pretty careful with her toys, by which I mean she just doesn't seem to break or destroy things.

yonisareforever · 07/10/2013 21:02

MY DD dont destroy, but things very easily get lost very quickly. I cannot keep things together very easily.

PoppyWearer · 07/10/2013 21:05

I agree it isn't a gender thing, some children are more careful than others. I've seen that from visiting children of both genders. Both girls and boys have visited. Some boys have left our toys neat and tidy. Some girls have broken stuff.

I do happen to have a careful DC1 (who is a DD) and a rampaging DC2 (who is a DS). DC2 breaks looooooads of toys and rips books almost every day, he's a nightmare! I can't remember DC1 ever breaking a toy or even ripping a book.

It also depends on how much time the DCs spend in the house and playing with their toys, I suppose. If the parents work and the DCs are in childcare, the toys are probably quite pristine?

YourHandInMyHand · 07/10/2013 21:05

YABU.

My DS respects his belongings. He plays with them appropriately and takes care to put them back in their box/container when they are put away. He has autism and is very impulsive, bouncy and can easily cover his bedroom with various play sets in one session but he knows to take care of his things.

I used to child mind and when I stopped I was able to sell all my minding toys and equipment on as they were in good condition so it's not just DS.

Bunbaker · 07/10/2013 21:10

OH and I are careful with our things as well.

When we moved house, two moves ago, someone commented on our lovely new kitchen. I pointed out that it has been installed four years previously, and they couldn't believe it wasn't new. I just don't trash my things and don't understand why some people do.

bsc · 07/10/2013 21:10

My DD's things are pristine, all passed on to other children, or DS.

DS is a deconstructor... the only thing he;s managed not to break is lego. EVen playmobil has been broken by him!

He likes to know how things work...

KirjavaTheCorpse · 07/10/2013 21:18

Hmm I think it depends on the child, you can tell some children until you're blue in the face not to misuse toys but some will play on regardless, you can't supervise play 100% of the time.

3yo DS is a perfectionist. His little playmate, not so much. DS hides toys if he knows he's coming to play, such is his aversion to his toys being 'manhandled'

Everything we've bought him is pristine. It boggles the mind. The other week my brother popped round with a cheap pound shop pull-back motorbike and it broke yesterday. DS is devastated and wants me to fix it. It is tat, and cannot be repaired and he doesn't believe me. I'm gonna have to throw it when he's not looking...

HarrietSchulenberg · 07/10/2013 21:29

Snort at toy rotation. I work all day, I have enough trouble keeping on top of the washing, cooking, homework and fixing the household stuff that breaks due to daily wear and tear. I don't have time to rotate ruddy toys and insist on designated sodding playmats.

I have 3 dses, lots of toys, and a very small house. Toys are kept in boxes but the boxes get mixed up and overflow and toys end up everywhere. I mean everywhere. The landing is currently a Playmobil building site complete with toilet, kitchen, police helicopter and a rogue pirate ship in addition to the more usual cranes and trucks. 12 bears wearing pirate hats are lined up on the stairs. There is a cushion den in the living room that has only just been vacated by ds2.

We still have nearly every piece of Playmobil ever bought, and there are lots and lots of sets in this house. The only problem is that it is all mixed up as ds3 creates strange new worlds out of them. I used to spend an hour or two sorting it all back into sets but that's not how my children play with them - they don't want the airport coach to be a boring old coach, they want it to be the vehicle that the builders use to run over the baddy Romans, and they'll use their puppet theatre as a house for the teddies to hide from the pirates in.

Yes, things get mixed up and bits fall off, but toys are made to play with in whatever way a child wants to play with them. Some children choose to keep their toys pristine, others want to be imaginative and turn them into other things. I remember ds1 nearly bursting with excitement when someone gave him a big box of all sorts of old toys, most with bits missing and none matching. He didn't see them as incomplete, he saw a whole new world of possibilities and we still have most of the toys in that box now, 7 years later. Still with bits missing and definitely not ebay-able, but some of the most treasured things he still owns.

CreatureRetorts · 07/10/2013 21:34

It's not about trashing and lack of respect. I'm offended at the insinuation that ds is somehow disrespecting his toys by being curious and imaginative in his play. He loves his toys - he careful takes some to bed with him.

aquashiv · 07/10/2013 21:39

YADNBU I often think the same. Pieces get lost bits end up in the hoover and as for the box forget it.

sheeplikessleep · 07/10/2013 21:39

Yanbu.
Puzzles are the worst in our house. I think every puzzle has at least one piece missing. I tell ds's to tidy up until I am blue in the face, but they seem to revel in playing with different toys from different 'sets' and playing 'shop'.

yetanotherworry · 07/10/2013 21:39

I used to wonder how kids could cause so much chaos and mayhem with their toys. Ds used to play with something, then put it away before he played with something else.

Then dd came along! She plays so much more imaginatively with the consequence that her toys are all muddled. At the moment her dolls house contains dolls house furniture and people, some playmobil dolls and dogs made from lego. The dolls house people like to go on holiday with playmobil people in the campervan. The OCD part of me hates it but she's happy.

Layl77 · 07/10/2013 21:41

Mine hardly play with toys!

sheeplikessleep · 07/10/2013 21:42

Love how this has developed into a 'creativity /imagination' versus 'respect' battle

stargirl1701 · 07/10/2013 21:47

I think it comes to down to personality. I love sorting and organising anything so I enjoy making up themed boxes of toys like Farm, Jungle, Under the Sea, etc. I don't see that type of thing as a chore but a fun activity/hobby for me.

CreatureRetorts · 07/10/2013 21:47

maybe I'm too defensive. I used to get annoyed at DH who basically tidied around ds.
ds is a genius though

Original poster

idiuntno57 · 07/10/2013 21:51

coming to the conclusion that we are a divided nation: builders of the tidy sock drawers of tomorrow and future Piccasi..

OP posts:

MortifiedAdams · 07/10/2013 21:51

Certain stuff in this house stays together - jigsaws, board games etc. Stuff that just wouldnt work if a peice was missing. We then have a big tub for Happyland stuff, which makes it easier to keep track of it, and three little tubs with stuff like the tea set in one, the peppa pig figures in another etc.

We then have another tub for 'random' bits.

Stuff can still.be enjoyed even when it is treat woth some respect.

stargirl1701 · 07/10/2013 21:52

I find creativity a challenge...

Ragwort · 07/10/2013 21:58

My DS was just never really interested in 'toys' - he only liked anything to do with sport - even when he was a baby. Toys often didn't even come out of their boxes and I soon learned to just give most away to charity as soon as he received them ........ for some reason he was given a lot of toys by well meaning friends and relatives (we had him very late in life so all our friends were practically grandparents themselves when he arrived ).

He must be one of the few children in the world who is genuinely not interested in Lego.

And no, he isn't creative or imaginative at all - but is a good all round sportsman now trying not to boast about his success.

TheFabulousIdiot · 07/10/2013 22:01

It prefer not to live my life worrying about if and when I can sell my son's toys on. They are there to be played with so if he wants to put his fire engine in the sandpit or throw his cars down the stairs then more power to him is all I can say. Putting things back in their boxes is tedious, apart from puzzles which need to be kept intact if possible.

Maybe I would feel differently if my ability to put food on the table was compromised by a few broken toys that I can't sell on eBay.
He's never been one for ripping and ruining books though and I think if he was I might find that a bit annoying.

WoTmania · 07/10/2013 22:12

YANBU - I don't tend to supervise my DC when they play - hence I walk up the stairs and find a load of the playmobil figures hiding in the bannisters waiting to ambush the lego soldiers when they finally come out of their duplo castle .
As a result things get scattered and lost or separated; no chance of getting them to put one thing away before they play with another as multiple toy sets get used per game and games can go on for a day or two. They get really quite upset if I put things away before games are finished.
I also have a very literal DS1 who will actually push over a ship that has been hit by a cannon or pull off the sails because, well, they've been hit by a cannon ball. No amount of asking/telling him not to and telling him to pretend has helped.
TBH I'm just glad they are playing, yes I'd like them not to be quite so rough but they are all playing, together, and enjoying their toys.

WahIzzit · 07/10/2013 22:16

My dc (nearly 4) has plenty of toys, most get played with while others get pretty much ignored. However, the number of toys destroyed or broken over the years I can count on one hand seriously. Dc is VERY good at looking after her things and once during a playdate a little boy pulled off her batman figure's cape. Cue sobbing and telling me how utterly horrible that boy is, and hes never allowed here again (nothing a bit of glue couldnt fix and were best of friends again after a bit) she is very anal like me about her things, her baby brothers things, when we go somewhere she will help gather all their bits (I can be rather scatterbrained these days thanks to the sleep deprivation, and tend to forget even essentials). Quirky little madam but has her uses

So yabu, some dc enjoy toys but are careful with them. Obviously I teach dc to keep toys tidy, to respect her things, and other peoples but she has fun with her toys etc she throws them about, but if she loses a jigsaw piece for example will hunt high and low until its found. Its just the way shes wired. Nothing to do with keeping toys pristiine and toys being for show.

Beamur · 07/10/2013 22:19

My DSS is good with his stuff and keeps it nicely as does DD, DSD on the other hand breaks/loses/destroys everything!
I am worryingly anal about stuff like this and it used to stress me out totally when the kids lost something. I remember being on holiday in a cottage in Wales or Scotland (with GP too) and having a mini melt down about bits of jenga not put away properly. No one was allowed to go out for the day until all the pieces had been found and properly restacked . Maybe this is why DD is so good - she really plays with things and is hugely imaginative (stuff is allowed to be mixed up - I have mellowed) but rarely breaks anything.

UniS · 07/10/2013 22:19

DS is obviously a rare "light on toys" boy then. I think it helps that he is an only. It helps that he tend not to chew or deconstruct things. Hes a bit of a pedant who likes his lego kits to stay as kits as he likes following the instruction booklets .

He did get given some random things that he just wasn't that bothered about by extended family and those are some of the things we have sold on now he is older.

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