WIBU to have just completely lost it with DS1?

[NellysKnickers]

I think I was and now feel dreadful. DH is out, I have just finished a mound of ironing and came up to put it away, DS1 is in his room reading. I go in to put his washing away and everything he has been playing with had just been shoved to one side of his room, I couldnt even get to his wardrobe. He knows on a Monday that I hoover and wash floors so Sunday nights everything had to be put away.
I just lost it, and was shouting as I was chucking everything in the big baskets where all his toys are kept. Two of his favourites got broken, he is distraught, absolutely heartbroken. I feel dreadful, really shouldn't have got so angry over a few toys. Although its an ongoing battle, he's got he biggest room and loads of storage but he does have the airing cupboard in his room and I'm constantly standing on bloody lego and suchlike when putting away towels and linen.
I've called dh and told him to try and find replacements before he comes home, he thinks it will teach ds a lesson but I just feel like an utter cunt. Ds is 8 and a lovely sweet kind boy, he just doesn't listen. Gosh, sorry for the essay, if you have read this far do you think IWBU?

Yes Cardibach but the OP's apology for her behaviour and the conversation she needs to have about the importance of her son tidying his room, need to be 2 very separate things.

Other wise it may well come across as I'm sorry 'but'.

I was ranty mummy today as ds2 and ds3 were fighting over a bagel...we had a packet full of bagels ffs.

Anyway I apologized and we had a cuddle etc.

Its not good to loose your temper, but with the best will in the world it does happen sometimes.

Are you stressed in general, am asssumimg this is out of character?

Everyone loses their temper sometimes. An apology and a cuddle are much needed for both of you.

Yes, he should've put his toys away but it's not his fault you lost control so I wouldn't get into "well if you'd tidied when I asked" type things.

Next week set a time it has to be done, remind him in the run up and check up on him to make sure this happens. So at 2pm you need to stop what you're doing and clean your room. At intervals before 2pm remind him how long he has left to read or whatever, then he'll have to stop so he can tidy.

I get really cross with my dd for this. I would have a chat in the morning and say that he really needs to help you by tidying up and that you are sorry that you broke the toys again.

Don't be too down on yourself, I have lost my temper and shouted very loudly at her for it before and have taken toys away until she tidies.

He should have tidied away, yes, but you must have been pretty angry to throw the toys with force enough to break two of them. Is that usual for you?

I do think he deserves replacements, and then some of the suggestions here about warning him in advance to tidy his room by a certain time are good ones to use in the future. Most kids I know have toys on the floor in their rooms, though. And it's not his fault the airing cupboard happens to be there. You could say that he particularly needs to keep the bit by the airing cupboard clear.

I don't think an apology and a cuddle really cuts it in this case. I think if you have a meltdown like this there is something wrong somewhere and you have to question where to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Whether this is a matter of getting more help with the housework or having more time to destress or something deeper like depression or stress which actually needs treating only the OP knows.

But I think she needs to take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again for her own sake not just her kids.

It's not normal to meltdown like this. My mother used to do it and it's not nice to have someone behaving that unpredictably.

The toys weren't that solid, a bit off one was already broken, so just chucking them in the basket with more force than usual, did the damage, d I did aplogise almost immediately, not blaming him either. I told him I completely overreacted and he said he should have tidied but was sad and disappointed.

TBH I do get stressed out keeping on top of the housework as I do like it clean and like to have bare feet so dont like bits everywhere. Have had a chat with DH and we are going to do floors on a Sunday now, between us so its not all down to me on one of my days off.
I will most certainly be having a chat with ds1 again tomorrow and maybe agree on how many times he should be reminded about something before a toy is confiscated, or something similar.

'sad and disappoibted' sounds like someone's been listening to you when you've been telling him off!