Is it me or would this annoy you

[aderynlas]

Sorry its another bus thread but this quite upset me today. There was a buggy on the bus already and when another mum tried to get on with her pram it wouldnt quite fit. The driver said she would have to collapse the pram. She wasnt at all pleased but the driver insisted. I thought it might help if i held the baby but when i offered, she said i dont let just anyone hold my daughter and why didnt i just fold the pram. Should have used mumsnet did you mean to be so rude shouldnt i. Left me wishing i hadnt offered.

No matter what you had offered you would probably have been wrong as I guess she was wound up by the drivers comment. If you'd have said the DYMTBSR it would probably have escalated her..... You'll probably never see her again, don't worry about it (plus she was probably knackered after a crap night/busy shopping day)

Hmm. Well, she was rather rude so I'm not surprised you feel offended. You're on a bus, you can't exactly go charging off with her child. But at the same time, some people are very particular about anyone but themselves holding their baby, she might have been having a very bad day and taken it out on you, or have the kind of baby who won't be held by anyone else.. All kinds of possible explanations. Try not to take it to heart too much.

This would annoy me - she was rude. She could have just said, 'no thankyou'

How old was the baby? DD was very poorly for the first few months, and after a long hospital stay in and out of intensive care I was very anxious about anyone holding her (including family!) as I was terrified of her catching something and getting poorly again.

Then again she might have just been in a bad mood!

Yanbu. Either the woman should have said "no thanks, I'm fine" "yes please" or waited for tge next bus.

If I were you I'd have said "I'm not sure how to fold your pram, I do know how to hold a baby. I'll let you get on with it."

Thanks for the replies everyone, wish id thought of your response froken, its great. The baby was about 9 months old and quite sociable. She kept smiling at me over her mums shoulder for the rest of the journey.

She was making a point about how crazily inconvenienced she was being by the whole thing and you offering a lovely gesture that would have made it stress free had the potential to take the drama away.

So she huffed and puffed some more about how she couldn't possibly let anyone hold her baby.

In short, she was an arse. And rude.

You were lovely.

Yes, she was taking her annoyance out on you. It's shame she threw your helpfulness back at you.

Rude and foolish.
"No I'm ok thanks" is a perfectly acceptable rebuff if she didn't want anyone else to hold her baby.
My favourite memory of DD's starting to toddle months (about 10 monthish) is her sat on the bus drivers wheel so I could fold the buggy so a double could get on (obviously we were stationary). She thought it was the bees-knees.

I helped a young mum with 3 DC and a double buggy and loads of shopping get on and off a bus on holiday - she was very very grateful of the offer of someone to hold the baby (I had seen her struggling and got off the bus)

the mum you met was daft, OP

She was rude. You were being nice and did nothing wrong.

I offered to hold a baby (looked about 9 months) in the co-op coz her mum looked to be struggling at the checkout. The mum was amazingly grateful.

OP... YANBU and your woman was pretty rude, although she probably realises that in hindsight and feels bad on reflection.

Don't feel bad. I bet mum's head was all over the place after the bus driver being an ass, and didn't mean to be rude. You did the right thing. Sometimes its hard to be nice even when people are trying to help. Adrenalin causes the most odd reactions.

You did a nice thing. I bet the mum felt a bit crap but unable to sort it out in her head in those few seconds (as they always are on a bus) to be nice and grateful.

She probably was upset....she was silly. I'd not ask a stranger to collapse my pram as it's probable that they couldn't do it! I once held a baby all the way on a 5 mile journey! Crowded bus, no seats, mum with toddler and baby....I offered to stand up she said no but I could hold her baby and she'd have the toddler and we could both sit down. It was very nice too....easier to hold someone's sleeping baby than a wriggling toddler who needed entertaining!