Aibu to think if I send you something for nothing, you could at least offer to pay postage!

[CeliaFate]

I had a clear out and discovered two identical t-shirts (both with tags on ) so offered one to my cousin who lives in England. She said yes please, pop it in the post.
I've sent it and don't begrudge her the top, but if that was me I'd offer to pay postage for it.
AIBU?

well you did offer it, its not like she asked you for a spare or anything
I would probably have been 'oh thanks that is so nice!'

if it was a friend or a favour or if you had said 'anyone want this?' and she said 'me! dibs!' then she shoukd havr offered

its tricky

Yabu, yes.

No, in those circumstances I'd expect you to pay. You found it and you offered it to her. If you wanted her to pay the postage, you should have said so when you offered it.

YABU if you didn't want to send it to her you shouldn't have offered. Different if she had asked you for it, but a gift that comes with a cost is a burden, not a gift. Either give willingly or don't offer. If you can't afford the postage it would have been better to pass to someone more local or pass to charity.

YANU - there's no way I'd expect someone to offer to pay for the postage and honestly, it wouldn't even cross my mind to offer. It's a few quid - if you needed the money that badly why not keep the t-shirt yourself, it hardly matters if you have two the same if money is that tight.

YABU - you did offer to send it. If you wanted the postage you should really have said I have a top I can send but youd have to cover the postage on it.

Your cousin did not ask for the item and was probably thinking nice thoughts about you on receipt of the item. Possibly did not even give the posting costs a second thought as that would have been inferred with the offer.

What a pity your greed has spoiled that now.

In these situations I stop and think " what would Judge Judy say?"
I believe her response would be "you had no contract re the postage. It would have been a nice thing for them to offer but they didn't, so get over it"

I sent something to someone off here,from one of those swap/give away threads. They were sposed to pay postage or send a couple of things common in Uk but that I cant get here. It never happened :(. I didnt even get a message saying they had arrived,I had to ask

Yabu, don't do something nice for someone if you can't do it properly. You offered it to her so why should she pay for it. Petty I tell you!

I'm not being petty, I sent her the top for free and paid the postage.
All I said was if that was me, I'd offer to pay postage as a gesture of gratitude for getting something nice for free.

The posters who are jumping on me to tell me how petty I am and if I should do something nice - irony much?

I expect she thinks what a nice thing to do, I`ll treat Celia another time.

Yabu

Yes , it would've been nice for them to at least offer to pay for postage, but as you initiated the gift they weren't under obligation to do so

It is a smidge petty.

It wouldn't even occur to me to offer postage. You sent her a gift! Do you normally refund people's postage when they send a gift or card to you? It would be different if she'd asked you to collect something and post it to her, but this was a present.

Yabu.

I'd rather they paid it forward.
People have done nice things for me in the past, it all goes round.

YABU. You offered to send it and you could have asked for postage.

I don't think I would offer the postage if it was a relative. T-shirts aren't usually very expensive. And then she would have had to send you a cheque for the postage and that would be another stamp. So what's the point. YABU. You should have just kept it until the next time you saw her.

YABU She probably assumed it was a gift from a family member and therefore not expected to pay postage. I'd just let it go.

Just post it without any stamps on. It will get surcharged, with a £1 fee on top that she'll need to pay for. H2h.