To think I should have done something?

[JessicaWakefield1]

In large department store yesterday with my 2 dds, a few clothes aisles along from us there is a young toddler (maybe 18 months - 2) with his mother and two of her friends.

Toddler begins having a tantrum, I continue browsing. A minute or two later I notice dd1 has stopped to stare (nosey!) I follow her gaze and see the mother forcing the toddler into his push chair. He was doing the typical toddler stiff as a board back arch when the mother put her foot on his stomach and literally kicked him into the pushchair keeping her foot on his tummy while she shouted at him and strapped him in.

AIBU (and judgey) to think this is an unacceptable way to deal with tantrumming toddler? I keep re playing it in my mind and thinking I shouldve said something...

I think yabu as that's the only way I can get my Ds 4.11 in to his pram when he starts as he has Aspergers & is very strong.
*In no way do I hurt/harm him in anyway

Really? I did wonder if maybe I was being a bit soft. It just looked awful and he was only a little toddler (although I know tantrumming toddlers can have Herculean strength when they have the rage! )

Yabu. I am pretty sure I've done that...not kicked but pressed. My DD was a nightmare at times and I have a very bad back and can't bend down at all.

I would never have used my foot to push my child back into their pushchair! I would either try normally and if that failed I would leave them to paddy it out. I have an autistic daughter and there is no way I would use that method to get her in the car or anywhere else.

Depends if she actualy kicked the child

I never ever seen anyone do that

I have used my knee to hold ds in bent position so I could strap him in when having monster tantrum. No it wasn't ideal but neither was him screaming & threatening to fling shopping on the floor in waitrose . A calm "darling, hush now poppet" wasn't going to cut it.
Was it a kick or a 'holding' manoeuvre?

By kick, do you mean like an actual blow to his stomach, or using her foot to push him into the pushchair?

Kicking him, or keeping him in position using her foot are too entirely different things.

I've manhandled DS into his pushchair during a massive meltdown and used my knee to keep him there. He has a habit of flinging himself face first onto the floor.

Kicking is different and yes you should have done something then.

I used to tickle my DC when they went into 'stiff as a board' mode. It worked a treat.

How do you use a foot and do the straps? Surely gentle but firm pressure from a knee is easier?

I have used my leg to hold dd and ds in place. But only if having major tantrum next to busy road etc. have never used my foot, or kicked. Just sort of position my leg to stop them getting out as its a two hand job to fix the straps.

Not sure what you could do in that situation though. What was the reaction from the friends?

I agree - pushing and holding him in with your foot is no different to doing it with your hand really, but an actual kick would be appalling.

I used to put DDs in their pushchair and then use my knee between their legs to anchor them in while trying to do the straps up, otherwise they would arch ans slip out.

I became quite adept at this and I bet it looked quite firm to people standing around observing.

Chottie, I used to tickle as well. Much more effective.

But when you say kick, do me mean a blow to the stomach as if she was kicking a door open with force? If so, I would have done something. Call 101? Talk to shop security? I don't know.