To allow my three year old to use a Nintendo DS?

[KirjavaTheCorpse]

Yep, first world problems.

Me and DP are divided. We don't allow an awful lot of screen time as a rule, but he's allowed to spend 20 minutes every morning before DP leaves for work on DP's phone, to use the draw-the-alphabet and colouring-in apps on there.

He really, really enjoys practicing writing the alphabet, it's a game for him and something I want to encourage, so I suggested that we dig out the Nintendo DS and buy an alphabet/number/drawing game for him to play during the day instead (I don't have a smart phone, DP takes his with him to work).

DP thinks it's different to him using his phone and doesn't like the idea. He thinks three is too young to be using games consoles for whatever reason. But I think it's better than using the phone, actually, because he'll be using a stylus instead of his finger, it'll help with his grip on a pen and it's more like writing.

AIBU?

(We do it on paper, btw, but he doesn't enjoy it as much as the apps are so much better)

Personally, I don't like the idea of kids using video games until they are much older so I would agree with your DP. I think I am biased though in that my brother and two of my younger cousins were/are completely addicted to their consoles all through their teenage years.

The way tech can be so addictive and absorbing scares me for myself, let alone for small kids!

It doesn't mean much because it's what we've decided and not necessarily 'right', but DD2's 3 YO and she loves cooking mama and basic dress up games.

I haven't put any time limit on it because she does so many other things and isn't on that long of her own accord.

I don't put any time limit on DD1 either and she's much more likely to choose a book over the DS/PC/Wii.

They're in the computer age! You can't hold back the tide.

DD was 7/8 when she got her first DS, they came out in 2004 when she was 3 and we didn't think she was old enough to have one for ages. But because it's there it's much easier to just let DD2 have it, and she does get a lot out of it.

The earlier they're on them the better in some ways, get them used to the bigger/better technologies of 2035 (when DD2'll only be 26 ).

I don't really see the difference between him interacting with a smartphone or him interacting with a DS! They're both screens and they're both going to be serving the same function. He just has a problem with the DS because it's a games console, and is very judgey about those who buy their young children iPads and PSPs etc even though he had every console going when he was growing up.

How is an smart phone any different to a iPad.

I personally think an iPad is alot better for you children than looking at an iPhone screen, for the simply the screens are alot bigger so they are not staring there eyes.

I think your DP is being hypocritical allowing him to use the phone but not a DS... they're both screens, both educational 'games/aps'. No difference.

After you have made the numpty see that... could you agree to only buy 'educational' 'games' for DS and make sure no-one else buys him other things?

I also think that children that have them (DS/iPad/whatever) young and just see them as 'one of their toys' don't obsess as much as children who are 'made to wait' and see them as a big deal. He will probably spend a lot of time on it at first, but the novelty will wear off and it will be just another thing he does... I can't see the big deal.

I prefer DC to play on the ds because there are no pop ups and no in app purchases.

To be fair he doesn't like him using the apps on the phone either, but he doesn't really get a choice, I downloaded the apps for him and let him use it. He's just accepted it now. He's convinced it'll rot his brain

I don't know why he holds this view. He spent the vast majority of his childhood being (literally) dragged away from his SNES and Megadrive at all hours in the morning. He's a competent and intelligent adult these days, didn't do him any harm whatsoever. Pfft.

The DS is mine anyway, nobody will know to even buy him games. I'm just going to tell him he's being a twit.

Oh that made me sound controlling but by 'he's just accepted it' I mean that he sees that it's really doing no harm and comments on how much he seems to enjoy doing his ABCs. He hands the phone to him in the morning himself!

we've bought our 3yo a ds for Christmas. yabu

I think there is a subtle difference.

Both my ds's sometimes play on mine and dfs iPhones. Not always educational either. It astounds me how good they are on them (5 and 3).

I have a buried ds somewhere upstairs, I never took to it and am meaning to eBay it. I wouldn't pull it out for them to play on. With the phones, they know they belong to mummy and daddy and that 20 minutes on them every so often is a treat. The phones have other necessary uses.

A games console only has one purpose and would probably be seen as 'theirs'. I would be concerned that usage would creep up and increase gradually.

It's for the same reason that I won't allow a tv/DVD combi in their bedroom. Every Saturday is 'DVD night'. They choose a DVD and are allowed to go to sleep in our bed, watching it on our tv/DVD. Then we carry them to their beds asleep.

Df thinks it would be more practical to get one for their room, only on Sat night. But I'm afraid of it creeping up...'Oh ok, well it is the holidays' etc so I won't even take the risk.

How about the 'educational' consoles aimed at pre schoolers like leap pad or similar as a compromise?

We've been playing Pou, a virtual pet, on our phones with DD2.

I say we because we obviously keep a close eye on her not clicking on stuff she shouldn't, but also because it's not too bad a game to play as they go and both of us have been caught playing it when DD's in bed