To think that there is something wrong with me?

[Faith48]

My Fiancé left me last November, weeks after planning our second child. 3 days before finding out I was pregnant he ended our relationship unexpectedly. He told me to abort DS (now 6 weeks) and said that he was the 'last thing he needed'.

He had no interest in seeing DS1 (2 years old) and said that he didn't want to see him at Christmas, bought no presents for him for Christmas nor his birthday, not even a card.

He had no interest in my pregnancy, didn't ask about how I was or how the baby was, he never asked how DS1 was and said that life was so much easier seeing him 3 hours a week.

He told me that he still had feelings for me and said that he wanted to be at the birth of our second child as he wanted to make us work, so he was there and the minute I gave birth he left and I never received another text for over a week. I later found out that he had told me that he wanted to make it work as he knew how I felt about him and he used that as a way for me to want him there.

So why do I still love this man?

He has been awful to me and it has nearly been a year but I love him as much as I did whilst we were together. I don't want to love him anymore, I really don't but I can't help it.

What is wrong with me :(

You have low self esteem.

Nothing's wrong with you. You are hormonal, grieving and he has manipulated you. You have two DC and they are his so it's difficult to make a clean break. You will feel better eventually.

You live in a world where male-female pair-bonding is heavily advertised as being the norm and the natural outcome of everyone's life. It is, unfortunately, not right for everyone.

He's an arsehole. You're absolutely fine on your own. You're better than fine: you're probably doing brilliantly compared to how you'd be doing if he was still taking up your time and energy.

It's hope that he will become the man you want him to be. He has shown how he is and you & your kids deserve better.

I think it's because you're grieving for what you thought your future would be. Ie a happy 2 parent family.

You need to let go of that idea and instead think about your happy 1 parent family with your 2 children.

I'm divorced with children and I know it's hard to adjust to from what you expected the future to be to what it is now. I'd also try to minimise contact with your ex. Not easy with children I know.

Take care.

Agree that you have low self esteem

How little do you care for yourself that you love someone who treats you like shit on his shoe.

You'll need a hobby/job/life and to enjoy parenting to grow your self esteem

You deserve more, people on this thread will believe it until you do.

You don't love him you know...you think you do because you're in such an awful place right now...thanks to him. He's dysfunctional...mean....unnatural and not worth your or your son's attention.

See the doctor and ask about councelling to get over this. It's been a terrible time and it WILL get better....you will meet someone better when you're recovered.

It could take a couple of years to recover from this but you WILL recover. Can you make an appointment on Monday to see the doctor? And have you any help with the children? Mum? Sisters? Friends?