To be upset about the new GF

[ChickOnaMission]

Soon to be Ex H is skipping around all happy because he’s had a night with his new girlfriend in a hotel. We’re separating, but stuck living together for a few more weeks. He dropped me in it and didn’t come home in time for the school run as planned making me 2 hours late for work. Today he has been emailing to ask if I mind if he changes his facebook status to separated and tell all his relatives we’re splitting. We’ve been married for 10 years. I don’t want to be with him, don’t fancy him, and I actually had a fling with someone at work which is how we ended up splitting but I can’t help feeling awful. He met the new woman on match.com when we were still together, I found out and in revenge cheated on him – he found out about that and went ballistic, told the kids I’d slept with someone, (2&9) plus telling all my family, including my parents what I’d done, I’m 35! Our marriage was rubbish anyway, he smoked pot almost every day and gambles (bet the new GF doesn’t know about that!) I feel positive that I’ve got a future on my own ahead of me but can’t help feeling horrible about him being all lovey dovey about this new woman. We’re still living together for the next few weeks until we both move into our own houses.

Is he being a bastard rubbing my nose in his new found happiness or AIBU?

Yes, he is being a bastard

But he always was and you are well rid

When he asks you stuff like that just arch an eyebrow and say 'whatever you think is best'

Ignore, you're nearly out.

I think both of you need to find some dignity and put your very young children before your desire for personal pleasure, point scoring and revenge.

Plenty of time to concentrate in how you feel about him when you've got your own places and moved on.

But really? Bickering about a Facebook status?

ChickOnaMission ... I actually had a fling with someone at work which is how we ended up splitting ... I found out and in revenge cheated on him

You're not occupying any sort of high ground here . . . .

Penny - yes I know I'm not blameless, but I have tried to protect the children. H actually explained to my 9 year old what its means 'to sleep with someone'

Hanging Garden - I'm not bickering with him at all, I'm just upset about it rather than arguing with him about it.

I think you both round disgusting involving your children in this tawdry behavior.

birdybear - I'm not? believe me, I want to protect them from the whole thing and wouldn't dream of telling them any home truths about him.

Both of you are just as bad as each other!

Crikey, aren't you the catch!!

I think you're just feeling jealous. Don't worry, not long until he escapes goes & then you can both get on with your delightful sounding lives..

Of course he is can he not wait a few weeks or will his dick fall off

it can still hurt as there was a time when you were in love, you have children and your split should be as simple as possible but no he wants to get on with his life before he has moved out

Then tell him you are happy for him to tell everyone that you are seperated, post it on FB, introduce the new GF to his family whatever. Keep things very cordial for the next few weeks. But make it clear that you would like to discuss the timing of when your ex plans to introduce his new gf to the dc. Then once you have moved, you can work out what level of contact you are happy with. Rise above the nonsense.

Of course he is can he not wait a few weeks or will his dick fall off

Like the OP could have kept her knickers on in the first place? Or in the "Revenge Cheat"

Nothing like a neutral opinion, and that's nothing like a neutral opinion....

YABU tbh in fact both of you are. The only innocent ones here are the children.

The title is aimed at his new girlfriend, has she actually done something to you or your children? not him so I am thinking there are still some feelings for him.

The behaviour you have stated he has exhibited would have had me kicking him out ages ago, so it didn't get to this.