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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I can go for an evening out...

24 replies

violetbean · 04/10/2013 13:48

... when my baby will be around a month old?

I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant - DC1 is due in December. In late January, a singing group I LOVE is performing a concert (they only come to the UK about once every couple of years) and tickets have just gone on sale today. Tickets are selling out really fast and there are some cheap saver tickets I might be able to get hold of, only £9.50 each.

AIBU to think that I could go out for an evening when my PFB is only a month old? DH isn't fussed about the singing group so I expect he'd be ok staying home that evening.

Not sure what to expect really, advice most welcome!

OP posts:

QueenofallIsee · 04/10/2013 13:54

Everyone is different and alot will depend on how your baby is sleeping/feeding, your labour etc. I would buy the tickets and play it by ear

CocacolaMum · 04/10/2013 13:55

I see no reason why you couldn't. I am sure DH will manage for the night

BillyBanter · 04/10/2013 13:56

There is no way of knowing but at £10 buy them and take your chances.

ceeveebee · 04/10/2013 13:59

Depends whether you are breast feeding or not really. At 4 weeks old may be feeding every 2 or 3 hours. But for £10 you may as well buy them and take a chance!

redcaryellowcar · 04/10/2013 13:59

would imagine if baby is only one month old it would be better coming with you, there is no way I could have left my pfb ds at that age but he most likely would have slept and fed whilst being cuddled by me, if you are planning on a snuggly sling this might work too?

purrpurr · 04/10/2013 14:05

Do it, definitely. Enjoy!

Stealmysunshine · 04/10/2013 14:25

Buy the tickets.

You may or may not feel ready to leave your lo then so best play it by ear.

It's only £10 loss if you decide not to go.

AnythingNotEverything · 04/10/2013 14:28

A lot will depend on whether baby comes on time and whether you bf or if baby will take a bottle.

I'm with the others though - buy a ticket and see.

AmandaPayneVersusThePainballer · 04/10/2013 14:31

At a tenner I'd chance buying a ticket, but you might not make it.

The biggest factors I'd say are whether the baby is on time (could it be 2 weeks, or have you based the month on going two weeks over?), how your labour is (two weeks after a section many people are still very sore, etc, etc) and finally whether you plan to breastfeed. If you do, 2-4 weeks is pretty early to have got him/her reliably taking a bottle and you're generally advised to wait for bottles until about 6 weeks anyway.

fryingpantoface · 04/10/2013 14:33

Buy them, I would!

mumofthemonsters808 · 04/10/2013 14:38

I agree with the others, yes buy them and see how you are feeling.

nethunsreject · 04/10/2013 14:39

For the price, take a chance. But I'd be amazed if you want to go once PFB in your arms!

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 04/10/2013 14:45

I would buy them and see how you feel.

On DS i wouldn't have been able to go due to cluttered breastfeeds and him not taking to a bottle.

on DD i could have as she was formula fed

jimijack · 04/10/2013 14:54

As others have said if you are breast feeding it will be pretty intense & you will be shattered. I was going to bed at 7, to get a couple of hours. By 10 I was a zombie.

Have to admit that I couldn't be parted from my baby for long, I just couldn't. Can't explain it but nothing else mattered to me. Pfb probably, but that was how I felt.

CaptainSweatPants · 04/10/2013 14:57

I wouldn't have been able to go
They don't go to bed at 7pm at that age
Are you planning on breastfeeding?
I never got the hang of expressing so me & my breasts had to be available

DameFanny · 04/10/2013 14:59

Do it, but an extra ticket for a friendwho can take you if you can't drive. At 4 weeks past edd you could be 2 weeks after a c-section, or 6 weeks after the easiest birth ever - you have no way of knowing at this point.

So make the plans and be ready to change them. That's what you'll be doing a lot of once your baby's here anyway

NatashaBee · 04/10/2013 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

heartisaspade · 04/10/2013 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topseyt · 04/10/2013 15:16

It would have been too much for me, but everyone is different.

Your baby may come on time, or early, or up to a fortnight late. You have no way of knowing how your labour and delivery will go. You might have a textbook natural delivery and recover very quickly, or it may be lengthy with all the intervention under the sun, which can make you feel spaced out for a long time. If you need a c-section (and remember, it could be up to a fortnight after your due date too) then you may still be sore, and still have some stitches.

If you decide to breastfeed then it will be harder to leave your baby at that age, unless you are happy for him/her to have the odd bottle of formula or expressed milk, and have already accustomed them to this.

See how tired you are. Newborns take no account of the fact that you are still recovering from giving birth by whatever means. They demand 24 hours a day regardless, and most are not yet reliably sleeping through the night at that age because they still need several night feeds. You can only know how you will cope with that when you are right in the thick of it.

For a tenner though, you could just take a chance, and lets hope you are up to it. If it doesn't work out you could offer it to a friend, or ebay it if there is time.

DoBatsEatCats · 04/10/2013 15:18

If you're planning to breastfeed, babies cluster feed in the evenings. I knew this in theory. What I wasn't prepared for was that in practice DS would feed for an hour at a time, come off the boob for about 10 minutes and then cry for another feed. When he was 0-3 months old, I was basically chained to the sofa between 6 and 10 every evening. He was 11 months old before I could reliably go out for the evening without getting a call from DH to say he had a frantic howling baby on his hands and could I come back.

If bottle feeding, I'd risk it, but accept you may not feel up to it!

Crinkle77 · 04/10/2013 15:45

Buy the tickets and if all is well go. If you are not feeling up to it then a tenner is not much to lose.

Original poster

violetbean · 04/10/2013 15:47

Thanks all, lots to think about. This would be around 5 weeks past EDD so I see what people mean about still feeling rough after the birth, especially if baby is late. Definitely wouldn't be driving there, it's a short train journey to the venue.

Hoping to breastfeed but will go with the flow. Guess there may be friends willing to buy the ticket off me so perhaps worth taking the chance on a tenner. Will chat with DH and decide tonight!

OP posts:

teenagetantrums · 04/10/2013 16:16

i went to my office Christmas party 6 weeks after giving birth, i was breastfeeding but my DD would take a bottle, was a nice night out and good to have a glass of wine finally. But she was my second not sure i would have done it with my PFB.

Original poster

violetbean · 05/10/2013 19:20

Hey all, just to update you I had a chat with DH and we decided there's probably an 80% chance I wouldn't feel like going in the end, and I'd have the stress of trying to find someone to take the ticket. Probably best to leave it until next time the group are in town! Thanks so much for all the advice, really appreciate it.

OP posts:

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