to hope for a days rest when sick

[PrincessScrumpy]

I woke up being sick at 5am haven't been sick since 10.30am but still feel terrible not helped by laying here fuming rather than resting.

This morning dh acted like he couldn't not go to work as he's in charge covering holiday. So I organised help from friends to get dd1 to school and someone top look after other 2 toddler aged dds. Dh said he had to be at work before 9am. He did break fast and got DC dressed. I asked df to care for dds until lunch as she has a toddler and is pg do didn't want to take the Micky. Dh picked up dds at lunch time and brought them home for nap. They sleep for 2 hours so will be up about 2pm.

Anyway, I exported dh to be hone early. 3pm if possible but certainly 4pm but when he was hone for lunch I mentioned dds swimming lesson st 5.30pm and he started huffing that he might struggle and could the friend picking her up from school drop her at his office. Err no she doesn't drive and also that means he's no intention of being home even at just after 5(his usual end time - contact wise) and would only take dd leaving me with other 2 dc who usually I have to take to the pool and entertain so why can't he do that?

Feel completely unsupported. i'm not ill lots but according to him if he had the sickness I have he'd still have to go to work although that apparently doesn't mean he doesn't believe i'm ill. Aibu to expect him to on this one occasion tell work he needs to look after dc?

Excuse typos - still feeling ill writing with one eye open

You can't take time of work for sick children, unless you take a holiday day. And if he's busy, it might not be practical. It sucks, but it's just the way it is.

I had the same thing yesterday - but I had no-one to look after DCs. I took DS1 to school and then had DS2 to look after. I spent the afternoon lying on the floor feeling dreadful and unable to move while DS2 whined at me on repeat.

If I am ill I just get to be ill and look after the DCs. If DH is ill, he gets a day off work, in bed. It sucks.

He got them up and ready, and used his lunch hour to bring them home.
You are covered until they wake up in an hour, so I suggest you try get some rest.

Forget swimming and activities today. Plonk them infront of a film/tv.

I hope you feel better soon.

YANBU but its unlikely to happen isn't it. DH and I have both had this horrible throat infection - he's told me I'm lucky as I can 'rest at home' (I only work part time) - because taking care of a toddler is sooo relaxing (as opposed to hiding in his office so no-one can see him and give him more work)!

I plan to spend tomorrow in bed - I don't care how rubbish he feels, he can 'relax' while taking care of DD - heheh.

If DH is in charge today, I can see it is a difficult day for him to take off or to leave early. Surely swimming can be missed for one day? Which means it is really only about 3-4 hours of looking after the DC - can't they be plonked in front of the tv for most/all of that?

The thing is, sometimes you cant just take a day off or leave early from work because your OH is feeling unwell.

Sometimes it is near on impossible to arrange cover at no notice and it sounds as though you have pretty much got as much help as you can so far, even though it means asking favours from friends.

It's horrible when you just want a rest and to feel better without worrying about looking after DCs.

I would forget about swimming, hand the DCs over when your DH gets home and go and rest.

He got them dressed, breakfast and picked up lunchtime. He has done a lot! Yabvu. He has to work so what's the problem. Surely if you are so sick and it's not practical for him to just leave work for that, then cancel the swimming. You seem very unreasonable to deal with .

Why take them to swimming if ill?

When they wake at 2pm- give snacks and drinks in beakers, allow free range with toys and set yourself up on sofa with duvet.

Let them watch tv after playing has been exhausted, then pizza/ toast/ fruit etc for dinner or whatever's easy.

Be glad you got that much help. My husband is a teacher and once he leaves the house, he certainly can't come back at lunch time.

Cancel activities. Turn on TV. Lie down on sofa. Close eyes.

He's done a lot for you. You can't just take time off work because your OH is unwell - I would have to call in sick to do that and I would lose a day of pay. It's the same for a lot of people. If I want a day off, I either have to book it as holiday (in advance, so no use for last minute things) or arrange a shift swap with a colleague. It can happen, but again, rarely at the last minute and not something I would rely on in an emergency.

He's a grown man with a job, and he can't just take off because his wife is unwell. Yes, it sucks that you don't get a day of rest when you're ill but that's being a parent. If you worked and he was at home, he'd have to suck it up too.

Who are these 2 year olds who sit and watch tv for 3hours? Mine do about 15 minutes and so far we've had biting and sharing issues. Dh works round the corner so bringing them home took 5 minutes.

When we both worked full time and had 1dd, if the childminder was sick one if us had to take a day off work. I work but Flexitime evenings and weekends from home. dd missed swimming last week which is why I wanted her to go this week and it's after dh should be home do I thought this once it was reasonable to expect him to do this.

Surprised i'm so u to expect dh to get dc ready in the morning. Maybe I am a cow but dh and I both choose to have dc so don't see why giving them breakfast is him doing me such a massive favour - he's usually here for breakfast anyway and we do it together.