Really unsure if iabu

[keelyboo]

DD is 7 and in year 3, she has an awful memory. I remind her every day to change her reading book ive written notes to the teacher in the reading recordbook asking politely for a new book and saying I have reminded dd but she might need a nudge, thinking when she reads with dd they can change it then. Itsa 22 page book and we have had it 4 weeks, weve read it over and over in the first 2 weeks and ive now given her her own books from home because I am sick of hearing it.
Teacher says its dds job, but my thinking is this clearly isn't working so why is it so hard to just give her a reminder while they do the guided reading, imo its the teachers job to help her progress which she isn't by reading the same book for 4 weeks.
I have reminded dd again this morning but am thinking a word with the teacher tonight if its not done again, or aibu?
I don't think punishing dd will make her remember she really struggles with this and I am the same I have to set reminders on my phone to remind me to make phonecalls/appointments/seeing friends even the times I have to collect ds from nursery etc because im that rubbish at it but I don't want to make excuses for her either.

Prepared to be told iabu and if I am ideas on how to help dd remember? she doesn't look at her reading record that's the teachers/TAs job so she wont see reminders in there and their book bags get put in their drawers so note to remind her in there wont work maybe I should write it on her hand...a throw back from my childhood because like dd I have always been that bad.

At my dc's school all the children had the reading books and journals in every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning and get sent home with a new reading book.
Maybe you could suggest something like this to the school. I'm sure your dd isn't the only one who will forget.

I like the message on the hand idea, give it a try. I wonder why the teacher isn't helping? Y3 is very young to be left to your own devices.

Could you buy her some of those rubber bracelets, like charities sell, and write a message on them for the thing you want her to remember?

Would that prompt her? If you make a point of talking about it, "every time you look at your yellow bracelet, try and remember if you've changed your reading book or not that day" or "the pink one is to remind you to do X today" that sort of thing.

Do you think that would help?

My DC went to a school where everyone happily changed their own book from Reception, so I can understand the teacher saying it is really up to the child.

What's the comeback for her if she doesn't get a new book? At DC's school they lose golden time for not reading and get merit points if they do (so carrot/stick approach). If precisely nothing happens if she doesn't change her book I can see why she can't be bothered with it. Can you introduce a similar sort of scheme at home if the school doesn't do anything?

Y3 is the time that children are really encouraged to become more independent so I do think your DD needs to work on remembering herself rather than relying on teacher (as she goes up the school, there will only be more things to remember!)

I don't know why she wont help, all I get is that its dds job to change her book, which ok that's fine but this isn't working and she obviously needs a little help which I cant do from here I remind her as shes walking in but she soon forgets and I feel for her as I know how frustrating it is.

I will speak to the teacher tonight if she still hasn't got one and will see if she can change it there and then because the only person suffering is dd and my ears at listening to the same book failing that I will pen a reminder on her hand, but I refuse to listen to this book anymore, her books from home are much more interesting anyway for me.

She has a charity wrist band actually for a child at their school so I could pen a reminder on that yes it might help.

No she loses no golden time the teacher doesn't seem interested or bothered that dd has forget, I feel like I am the only one who cares and I don't think punishing her will help her remember because its something she struggles with this isn't the only thing she forgets its just the only thing that's causing a big issue right now, id feel wary about her being punished because shes not forgetting on purpose she gets so upset when she realises shes forgot again she literally can not help it.

I think rewarding her for remembering is a great idea though im much more for the positive approach so will definatly try that, like I say the teacher doesn't seem bothered at all.

Why can't you just pop into the classroom at the end of the day or in the morning and help her choose?

We aren't allowed in unless signed in this might make me U but that involves trailing three of them right round the other side of school (to then come right back round to the other side to her classroom again) and all teachers are in the playground before and after school so chances are would be no one to supervise us doing this as safety is really strict there which is great but makes popping in a huge chore and definatly not a 2 minute job.
I will try the things suggested to try and help her remember and ask the teacher again tonight.

i agree that the teacher should be reminding them. are the books in the class? are they supposed to remember to swap them at a specific time?

ours get taken up to the library to choose a new book, so they can't forget. but at DS1's previous school the books were in a box in the classroom... i would ask when he came out, and if he'd forgotten then I'd send him back in to quickly change it

Does it really matter if you are reading books with her at home? My DD never bothered changing her book, and when I asked her why, it was because all the school books were boring, and she didn't want to read them.
As long as you know that your DD is progressing with her reading, then that's fine, surely? Staff in good bookshops will be able to give you advice on suitable books for her age, or you can google for info.

We aren't allowed in unless signed in

Well then the teacher will have to meet your child's needs, one of which is she needs help remembering, send her a note each day politely asking her to remind DD to change books, do it each time a new book is needed.

when my daughter's class sit down on the mat after lunch each day, the teacher or TA asks if everyone has changed their book,

We are also encouraged to help them choose new books with them in the mornings or after school, it helps keep parents involved.

No I suppose as long as shes progressing at home, I just worry because theres no record of her progressing with school though im unsure how important a record full of the books shes read is?

The books are in the library so she has to go down there so its not a constant reminder in the classroom unfortunately.

Thanks everyone im going to step up the efforts to help her remember but just feel a bit of support from the teacher might help too.

Well then the teacher will have to meet your child's needs, one of which is she needs help remembering, send her a note each day politely asking her to remind DD to change books, do it each time a new book is needed.

But OP's child is in Y3, not Reception. At some point she needs to sort out "remembering" strategies for herself. Doesn't she have other things to remember (spelling books, PE kits, letters home ...)? How does she remember these? What if she has a letter to hand in? Does that get forgotten too?

At DC's school, they have to "empty out" their bags when they get in - which prompts them to hand in forms, payment for things, homework, put fruit and water bottles away ... and to change reading books. This sounds like it might be a good habit for OP's child to get into.

I was like your daughter when I was at junior school I would have forgotten my head if I could!

One time id left my pe kit at school for weeks and my mum got sick of reminding me so she tied a piece of wool round my wrist and said "every time you look at the wool you'll remember to bring your pe kit home"

That night when she picked me up from the child minders I was apparently crying my heart out my mum asked what was wrong and I said "I know you tied the wool to my wrist to remind me to do something but I've forgotten what!!!"

:) not helpful x