To think it's not that hard to write "love" in a birthday card

[HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform]

Every bloody year MIL signs my birthday card "from MIL and FIL". Every year it hurts my heart to read it. I don't think I've ever not signed a card "love Hotel" and feel like she signs it "from" to make the point that I'm not loved by them.

AIBU to think its a bit mean of her?

Gosh, Hotel. I could have written most of your above post. You are not alone! Families are hard work and sometimes it can be difficult to know what they actually want in comparison to what they are saying they want

I had the same with my MIL. That was years ago. I allowed myself to be upset by it; it was even more upsetting as DH is definitely treated as part of the family by my parent/siblings, etc.

Try not to allow yourself to be upset. She's the one at fault. My MIL didn't think I was good enough for her boy - no-one would have been. She thought I was stuck up because I had a relatively big wedding, but I have a relatively big family. When SIL got married the next year, she had the same size wedding!

It's only MIL who was like that. She has dementia now so doesn't really know what she's doing. She always sent me half the money she sent DH for his birthday. I knew where I stood. I told DH he could invite her to our house whenever he wanted and I would be a good, polite hostess, but he never bothered. I don't go and visit her now. DH does and takes the DC.

MIL used to (and still does) moan that no-one visited. That was not true, and when she ever did go anywhere else she would sit there with her arms folded and keep hold of her handbag and coat as if she thought someone would steal them.

You have to try not to care. I know it's hard, but after you try for a bit, it will be the truth!

MIL doesn't even write 'To