My son is currently learning to drive . A lot of his friends have either passed and have their own car , it being very rural here , or are learning . I'm not particularly happy about it to be honest . The roads round here are very unforgiving if you make a mistake , with very big ditches either side and very uneven surfaces . Couple that with over confidence , and lack of experience , and accidents are bound to happen . One of his friends died , overtaking in the fog and hitting an oncoming lorry . DS1 was part of the guard of honour at his funeral . Another 18 year old died in our village when he hit a dip in the road doing 70mph , flipped the car and ended up upside down in a field .
I've dealt with a few horrific accidents involving young drivers over the last twenty years , including one that died in my lap despite us doing everything we could to keep him going. The worst bit that upsets me to this day , was his mum turning to me at the inquest and thanking me for making sure her son wasn't alone . So the thought of me being that mother is a fear that's always there for me right now.
In the last year I've made use of every lift I've given DS1 ( and that's a lot!) to explain about hazard perception , about driving in different road conditions , and about how 'red mist' can cloud our judgement . I've tried to pass on a lot of the wisdom I was taught from my driving courses , of which the most important thing we are taught over and over and over , is that no call is urgent enough to justify an accident . I translate that into 'better late than never' . It sounds boring as hell , but we've had some interesting conversations . I just hope it works .
I suspect my dad felt exactly the same way . I know that he never slept at night until I came home once I'd got my licence , but he never let on. I think it's a leap of faith , but its not easy . Not at all .