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Original poster

fb etiquette or just rude

18 replies

mrshap · 03/10/2013 08:55

I have teenagers who now have girlfriends and boyfriends, girlfriend of my ds visits here for meals etc. She has added on fb all family members on fb and a male friend of family on who was here recently. Feel a little miffed as cant remember being horrid to her, however I've got horrible feeling that its more to do with not being male! As she was quite gooey eyed by male friend and dh! I am quite surprised about the gooey eyed bit as she seems a really nice sensible girl otherwise..
Not sure how to broach this, unless I do it in a jokey way. Bleddy fb!

OP posts:
drawsofdrawers · 03/10/2013 08:57

Why are you miffed? Because she hasn't added you? Maybe she can't find you on there due to your privacy settings. If you want, why don't you add her.

But really, who cares about the stuff over the age of 19.

MisselthwaiteManor · 03/10/2013 09:00

You're reacting as if you are a teen too! Just add her if that's the problem, and if she doesn't accept then shrug it off.

Original poster
mrshap · 03/10/2013 09:03

Miffed because I have been nice to to her, fed her etc , she been in my house etc. yes I realize its just fb not real life.. Not life changing, I was just asking how best to deal with this, a little bit of advice from the wise mners!

OP posts:
MisselthwaiteManor · 03/10/2013 09:06

I'm not FB friends with my MIL and I love her, FB isn't the end of the world. I would honestly do nothing at all. If you want to be her friend then send a request, don't wring your hands wondering why she hasn't sent you one (if that is the issue, not clear from your OP)

Tee2072 · 03/10/2013 09:06

My advice, and I'm a very wise MNetter, is to not worry about it.

Pagwatch · 03/10/2013 09:08

I have teenagers with girlfriends

I really on't understand why you would miffed.
I am not sure what to make of the gooey eyed comment but if you raise it,there is no way that it will ound like nothing other than 'you're a bit tarty arn't you'.

My eldest sons first girlfriend was nice but a bit nervous and was a bit intimidated by me i think. When she asked me I accepted cheerfully but said 'don't worry. I barely go on there so you won't have your boyfriends mum watching your every move'
She used it to message me about Christmas presents etc.

I think you are sounding a bit childish but maybe that is because it's hard when they first get serious girlfriends. There is a step back in the intimacy of your relationship with your son as they get older and a girlfriend - another primary relationship - is a big old physical representation of that.are you feeling a bit squeezed out?

BreeWannabe · 03/10/2013 09:09

Because you are her boyfriend's mother?! And perhaps she's more concerned about making a good impression on you than the others because you're the mother?

Original poster
mrshap · 03/10/2013 09:09

Ok Ill just not let her in next time she comes here for a meal untill she adds me on fb...I am joking btw...I just ignore it honest..

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 03/10/2013 09:11

Yy BreeWannabe
You said it better in way fewer words!

She will be a bit wary of you however nice you are. And because it matters to you too, you feel snubbed where normally you would shrug it off.

Crowler · 03/10/2013 09:12

She may feel as though it would be inappropriate to add you. Maybe it's a generational thing. Who knows.

I wouldn't care at all and I can see how it may seem childish, but as Pagwatch says, perhaps you're feeling squeezed out. I don't look forward to this at all.

MuswellHillDad · 03/10/2013 09:12

Tee2072 makes a wise contribution Wink

There is no "etiquette" on facebook or online. Start with that and you're whole online experience will be less frustrating.

DropYourSword · 03/10/2013 09:14

Meh, unless they are planning on getting married I can't see why you'd be bothered!

Original poster
mrshap · 03/10/2013 09:15

Im finding this whole bf an gf thing quite uncomfortable, feel like the family been invaded...every weekend..
I know Im just going to have to get used to that, my kids seem to have disappeared overnight and been replaced with grunting teens..

OP posts:
SpiritOfTheBuskersCat · 03/10/2013 09:15

I'm guessing she doesn't want to write or post something that might offend you Grin

Original poster
mrshap · 03/10/2013 09:20

Yes you probably right she does seem such a nice girl maybe she doesn't want to offend..

OP posts:
Latara · 03/10/2013 09:46

I was offended when certain work colleagues didn't add me on FB but added everyone else; but I think life's too short to worry about it.

gobbynorthernbird · 03/10/2013 09:54

Maybe your DS has asked her not to add you.

Pagwatch · 03/10/2013 10:24

I think it's nothing much to do with Facebook really.
It's the change to your homelife, the shift in relationship.
It is tricky. But you will adjust because you love your son.

Don't feel bad about it feeling a bit sad, a tad resentful. You really do get used to it and become increasingly happy when your child has a gf/bf who is nice to them.
It's not wrong to feel a bit miffed. It's just one oftose things we have to master and then it becomes ok.

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