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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be sure I can cope with this?

14 replies

TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 07:57

Loads of threads about anxiety under my username but long story short, am going through a relapse and things were looking better. DS was sleeping better, I was on beta blockers and doing CBT and it was all getting better.

DS has (for no reason I can think of) started waking up about 4 times a night again (he's nearly 3 so it's pretty ridiculous) and I had a bad cold that took it out of me.

I need to start studying again (got my open uni stuff in the mail last week) but I feel like utter shit and no where near 'capable' of doing this next course.

I am utterly exhausted, emotionally and physically.

Just a rant really as there's not much I can do about it. It's just shit to be honest and I'm starting to feel more and more desperate about the sleep. Even typing about it make me want to cry. It'll get easier, won't it?

Am off to have the life sucked out of me by the jobcentre this morning too.

What a crappy few months.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 07:59

I am not cut out for this Hmm

Poor bloody DS.

OP posts:
fortyplus · 03/10/2013 08:03

Poor you. But honestly a phase of waking several times each night at about 3 is perfectly normal. Just when you think you're enjoying a full night's slepp every night, they take you by surprise and get back into waking up all the time - usually when they've had a dream. I remember both of mine doing it at the same time - they're 18 months apart in age. So we were getting woken 6-8 times every night. Totally draining, but it does pass, honestly!

vj32 · 03/10/2013 08:04

Can you put the OU stuff on hold for now? I cancelled a course with them for no charge - I think you have 14 days from when you paid under distance selling.

Is there anyone else who can have DS for a bit so you can catch up on some sleep - does he go to nursery or pre-school so you get a break?

Original poster
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 08:05

He's got nursery this morning but I have the JC appointment then an hour before pick up. I'll take it easy but I can't sleep. I'll try and get an early night tonight. I wish I hadn't been so relieved that he slept through for that week or so. It was so nice to feel 'normal' and not be so tired. Everything was easier.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 08:08

I really want to do this course. I hate being on benefits and the idea of being on minimum wage til DS is much older is not a nice one, especially as the current situation in the UK is pretty dire wrt benefits. We are so skint all the time.

This sounds awfully whingey but I just don't feel I can talk to anyone about it in RL without being a burden.

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Fragglewump · 03/10/2013 08:12

Hey op being a mum is a total roller coaster and sometimes feels too shit, gruelling and exhausting for words. And that's before you add in other stress factors like the job centre (utterly humiliating in my experience) and anxiety. But things can and will get better for you. I have been where you are, anxiety, sleepless toddler, a broken marriage, moving house etc and at times felt like I was on the edge. Anti depressants really helped me, as did a good counsellor but I had to have some crap ones and some half arsed cbt first. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to recover from your cold. I still sometimes get panicky when I'm ill and forget that my body needs to recover. My kids are older now and the pace of life is slightly less frenetic. Am also remarried to a fantastic guy and trying to pick up the broken straggly remains of my career now. Don't get beaten by this. Have you asked anyone for help? Just one night without your ds would do wonders for you I'm sure. Good luck.

Original poster
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 08:12

Missed your post 40

That is actually reassuring!

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Original poster
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 08:14

His dad has him every other weekend for the saturday night and sunday day which does help. That has helped. It does help to hear it gets better. I still feel run down even though I'm not coldy anymore so am trying to be careful with what I eat and catch as much sleep as possible etc. It's just a slog at the moment I guess.

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ElleMcFearsome · 03/10/2013 08:16

Ugh, similar situation. I'm starting my final two modules for my OU degree with my exam for the last module next Tuesday. And wondering why this ever seemed like a good idea...

Spent most of last week in tears, ditto this week. My DDs are teens but we've had a v difficult year and yesterday I just hit a wall. Ended up sobbing over the GP, have got ADs now. She told DH to take me on holiday, (yeah, right!) and for me to 're-schedule' my exam. I did explain that it didn't work quite like that.

Nothing helpful to add, other than try to be nice to yourself and if you feel you're sinking WRT your uni stuff, talk to your tutor! That's what they are there for Flowers

Original poster
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 08:25

My mum was like that a bit elle and she eventually passed and it was really worth it Smile

I remember it being very hard for her at times though!

I think i'll be ok to study once I don't feel run down on top of everything else. I just don't feel better even though i'm not full of cold anymore if that makes sense? Just have no energy and my body still feels achey.

OP posts:
ElleMcFearsome · 03/10/2013 09:00

We don't get time to recover from bugs when we have kids do we? I remember, in the days before DDs, being able to slob on the sofa for a few days after the lurgy had gone, to actually recover properly. As it is now, we all just have to keep going and we're run down and therefore more susceptible to the next bug doing the rounds. You poor thing, all I can suggest is carry on venting here if you don't think you can IRL

Original poster
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 03/10/2013 10:38

We really don't! I caught one cold on the back of the first and am pretty sure it's because I had no respite and because the anxiety is affecting me physically (feel weak & achey because of it).

The jobcentre lady was actually lovely. She told me I should've been caliming DLA for DS or at least tried to. (He has clubfoot an has been having treatment since birth and will do for some years yet). I'm too proud about it so never even considered it but she said I might be able to get some help for the lack of sleep at night or something. Worth a shot I suppose.

I feel better than I did before anyway. She really cheered me up and is the nicest lady I've seen there for months. I usually have to defend myself for an hour in the other meetings I've had so it was a lovely change! And I actually got some decent advice on getting a decent part time job.

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fortyplus · 04/10/2013 07:52

TheOrcHeadKeeper mine are 18 and 19 now and still wake me at night - to go and collect them from late-night parties! Grin But the upside is that they provide a taxi service for my friends and me when we go out.

Good for you for wanting to improve your situation - hang on in there! You'll have so much more time when he goes to school.

Hopasholic · 04/10/2013 08:37

Glad it went ok for you Flowers

Do whatever works best in order to get a good nights sleep, if that means putting him in with you rather than getting up & down all night, do it. They don't do it forever Smile

Is there a reason he wakes? Drink/cuddle/discomfort?

If that's not a possibility, then praise praise & more praise whenever he has a good night. Tell him how amazing he is, do a reward chart, bribery, corruption Grin

They're little for such a short space of time but when you're in the midst of it it feels like it will last forever, particularly when you're knackered Flowers

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