Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if I am a terrible mum because I don't bake with my daughter?

32 replies

LordElpuss · 02/10/2013 15:12

there's a lovely thread about things MNetters remember doing with their mums and now enjoy doing with their daughters. And just about every post says "baking".

Am I the ONLY one who doesn't bake with their child? We've tried a couple of times and it's been a disaster it's not really worked out as I can't follow the most basic recipe: flour, butter, sugar, stir Blush

Will she be adversely affected and have no nice memories of me and just recall how I spent too long on MN ?

OP posts:
purplewithred · 02/10/2013 15:13

Calling social services right now...

Pootles2010 · 02/10/2013 15:14

No course not - why would you repeat a disaster? You could make an eating-ready-made-cake tradition instead Grin

RedHelenB · 02/10/2013 15:14

Get a ready mix - problem solved!

reelingintheyears · 02/10/2013 15:15

Probably.

CoffeeTea103 · 02/10/2013 15:15

Don't worry about this and let this be a measuring stick of your parenting. You may not enjoy doing this with your daughter but there may be other things that you do which is just as important.

FunnysInLaJardin · 02/10/2013 15:16

YANBU, up until recently I never baked at all because I hated the children getting involved. Now I have realised they just enjoy the cakes at the end and so I slope off and bake cakes and they get to eat them/lick the bowl etc. I feel like a proper mum now what bakes and everything but without the hassle of the children 'helping'!

KellyElly · 02/10/2013 15:17

Only as much as a man would be a terrible dad if he didn't bake with his son. All sounds a bit 1950's mentality to me.

BeetleBugBaby · 02/10/2013 15:18

Hey if it makes you feel any better the most I remember doing with my mum is making Angel Delight milkshakes.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 02/10/2013 15:19

My mum never baked with me, she was an awesome mum. I have so many happy memories regardless of her baking phobia. :)

TheTruffleHunter · 02/10/2013 15:19

It is a nice way to spend time with a child but of course it's not essential. The key thing for me is spending time with them, rather than what you do. So not sitting in the same room both on ipads etc as some parents seem to think is 'quality time'

Why not try one of the packets of premixed ingredients? They're almost foolproof! Grin

candycoatedwaterdrops · 02/10/2013 15:20

Beetlebug reminded me, does plonking a scoop of vanilla ice cream into a glass of coke count as 'baking'? Grin

Original poster
LordElpuss · 02/10/2013 15:20

I do have a Cath Kidston milk jug if that redeems me in any way. Although I've never put milk in it.

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 02/10/2013 15:21

I would put Flowers in a CK milk jug.

reelingintheyears · 02/10/2013 15:22

Milk jugs are a drag, just something else to wash up.

mysticminstrel · 02/10/2013 15:24

DD2 and I made the best cookies from a ready cookie mix today - it's a Jane Asher one I got in B and M and is literally foolproof.

They were really tasty.

(and of course yan a bad mum)

deXavia · 02/10/2013 15:25

My mum was firmly in the "out of the freezer, into the oven" camp of cooking. We never baked, i remember no homework sessions and I think I had one birthday party. She is the most awesome amazing and fabulous mother you could ever wish for. If I am half as good as she was - then I will count it job well done.

Summerblaze · 02/10/2013 15:26

I did bake with my Mum on occasion but that isn't what I would think of if I was asked what I remember doing with my mum.

I had a hobby that my mum and dad were very involved with and we spent most weekends together doing that. It was the time they spent with me that I remember and the fact that they were interested in my life and wanted to be a big part of it.

Dahlen · 02/10/2013 15:29

I bake with my DC but I've never particularly thought of it as a yardstick for parenting, more a cheap form of messy entertainment.

Also, some baking is far from enjoyable and ends up with stressed parents taking over because the DC are making too much mess, and upset children when the cake comes out flat in the middle, etc. Wink

If you're doing other stuff with your DC, who cares? Grin

MummytoMog · 02/10/2013 15:29

I don't bake with mine - I do the baking and give her a bowl with some sugar and a bit of marg in it and a little wooden spoon. She stirs it up and then I suspect she eats it, but it makes her VERY happy.

CoolStoryBro · 02/10/2013 15:33

I shouldn't have clicked on this thread. Now I want an Angel Delight milkshake AND a Coke Float.

OP, I'm not a big baker either. I am, however, very good at taking the kids to a store and buying cake. When they were very little, we once made bread, but subsequently found flour in the house for weeks. It was like an explosion.

Aniseeda · 02/10/2013 15:33

I didn't bake often with mine when they were small as I didn't cope well with the mess!

I do it more once they are a bit older and it's more of a joint effort and they can clear up after themselves!

Don't worry about it, I am sure you do lots of other nice mummy things Grin

My mum did quite a lot of baking with us and I remember being so excited about my first cookery lesson at school and then absolutely horrified that we were learning how to make chocolate crispies which I could have done in my sleep by then! So you have saved her from that Wink

Dahlen · 02/10/2013 15:34

I gave my DC coke floats for the first time the other day (not sure how they managed to get as old as they have without this experience, but that's another issue...). They hated them. Hmm

wigglesrock · 02/10/2013 15:35

I don't do it either, I hate to bake. I dislike everything about it - from physically doing it to the baking tv shows. My daughters occasionally bake with my Mum, but not at home.

Original poster
LordElpuss · 02/10/2013 15:37

Thank you for your replies Flowers

Any kind of craft activity is best avoided, she prefers me not to help with homework because I can't "partition" or "chunk", I respond to most of her questions by suggesting she "Googles it" but ... her grotty friends are always welcome in our house, I spend hours hanging around whilst she does the sport I have no interest in she adores and I never say no when we're in Waterstones! Must be creating some fond memories somehow Grin

OP posts:
Halfling · 02/10/2013 15:40

Baking with my DS makes me lose my temper, every single time without fail.

DS (4 years) spills, licks, drops, screams and makes the most unbelievable mess.

The other thread made me also a bit Sad because we never seem to enjoy baking together.

There are some good ideas on this thread about involving DCs - giving them separate bowls etc.