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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have shed a few tears at how negative the teacher was about my DD today?

36 replies

mummytowillow · 01/10/2013 20:47

Before I start, I know I'm being a drama queen, I'm hormonal and very tired Sad

Today I met with my DD (6) teacher to see how she has settled in. She has been in this teachers class since they went back to school.

I didn't go in expecting her to be top of the class and receive glowing comments, but I've come away feeling quite negative and upset at how negative she was about her.

We sat down and she launched into the following: she's slow at everything she does, getting undressed for PE and getting dressed, slow at copying things off the board, daydreams and takes too much interest in other children. Talks too much and won't work independently and lacks imagination.

Every question I asked she would go start with 'well, ummm', give me a strange look' and continue with the comments.

I asked her whether she was a good girl in class, again 'well, ummm' and said she is OK. What confuses me is she got a really good report from her previous teacher, she said she is doing well, a delight to teach, no concerns and a 'little' day dreamy (which I know she can be). In her school they mix Yr 1&2 together, so how can she have gone from this to what her new teacher is saying in such a short time.

New teacher said if she continues like this she will have concerns she will end up behind the other children. So I asked her what can I do to encourage her to concentrate and she said its probably too much TV and she needs to do more jigsaws, books and imagination play.

Fair enough, I can do all this, I understand she's doing her job and of course, if something needs highlighting I want to know, but I'm just so confused at what has gone wrong in such a short space of time.

Any tips on other ideas of how to get her to concentrate and focus would be appreciated.

OP posts:
SkodaLabia · 02/10/2013 09:57

I'd take issue with the "lacks imagination" bit. Everyone has imagination. Some people may struggle to articulate it, but it's there. What a damning thing to say about a child.

jazzandh · 02/10/2013 10:22

I wouldn't worry about the diet too much, I'd make sure she was getting plenty of sleep.

I think simple TV at the end of a busy school day is fine to unwind, but also make sure she gets reading before bed, whether you to her , or simple books by herself. Reading is the key......stimulate her love of learning......

There seem to be plenty of teachers who are full of negatives and want to push the effort back onto you, when they have your child for longer periods of time in the day than you do!

For a baby in year 2, struggling with a transition - and for mine Y1 to Y2 was tricky it's early days....

annoyednow · 02/10/2013 20:01

It appears to have been a very negative take on everything. My son started school really happily. Great teacher. That was the only good year for a while. The next teacher told me he used to go to the bathroom and not arrive back. When she went out into the corridor to find him, he would be standing at a window looking out. That's daydreaming! The teacher after that had no time for him. He was extremely sociable, hated school readers. We did our own reading at home, half an hour every bedtime. He is in the top set at another school now. Get your daughter some stories on audio tape as well for bedtime. You can change her diet. If you do stews/cottage pie, you can hide nutritious veg in there.

My son switched schools and has blossomed. He is sociable in the extreme. Imagination is greatly encouraged at his new school. In fact, everything is encouraged at his new school. He is now very motivated.

Keep an eye on things and effect some changes to make a difference to your daughter. Positive and encouraging feedback can have a huge impact on a child. She is still very young.

YouHaveAGoodPoint · 02/10/2013 20:48

What a negative teacher Sad

Nothing she said sounds too bad and if you use it to give you the impetus to recheck your 'parenting' then so be it. We all get a little lazy at times and a reminder keep on top of our patenting job is no bad thing.

I wouldn't worry about it but I would be vigilant IYSWIM

x2boys · 02/10/2013 20:49

my little boy has just started nursery at the school his brother goes to his brother hass been fine however my little one has s/n prob autistic and the nursery teacher is very derogatory and has been with other kids with special needs my little one has very delayed speech and an absolute whirlwind tbh, I don't bother with the nursery teacher and just go straight through the head who I have to say has been great I put up with it because it is vital for my little one to attend nursery for socialisation and to help with development nursery teacher wanted him to attend for just one hour a day I pointed out it was his statuory right to an education and have agreed with the head to increase his time by half an hour a week so by next week six weeks in he will be getting his full entitlement I think the nursery teacher is a waste of space but I like the school and both boys seem happy there!

YouHaveAGoodPoint · 02/10/2013 20:50

I would second looking at your daughters sleeping. I used to think that sleep was the answer to everything as far my kids were concerned.

OnaPromise · 02/10/2013 21:05

Your dd sounds delightful. She sounds a bit like my dd actually, who has just started school.

Don't give yourself too much of a hard time. The teacher needs to learn some people skills.

Oblomov · 02/10/2013 21:14

I had this for ds1 in Yr2. She didn't have a positive thing to say about him.
Strange, because 4 other year teachers have liked him very much.
I kept an eye on him. And her. And made sure he didn't miss out too much.
He still says yr2 was his worst year and he didn't achieve what he was capable of.
She was young , immature and known for preferring girls.
I even requested that ds2 was never allocated her.
There's not much you can do. Just keep an eye on it.

mummytowillow · 02/10/2013 21:38

I feel better today. A few parents have said she's just a negative teacher Sad

My DD is a great sleeper thankfully. She goes up just before 7 and is usually asleep by 7.30 until 6 ish.

Today she had no rubbish to eat only cheese as a snack after school. We played games, read and she wolfed pasta and sausages and asked for seconds!

I'm definitely cutting down on sugary stuff Wink

OP posts:
Shallistopnow · 02/10/2013 22:06

Cheese isn't rubbish. Just see if she'll have some grapes/cucumber/sliced pepper with it.

giveitago · 02/10/2013 22:17

Yup so what's the school doing to help her then?

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