Christmas presents this year...

[FragileTitanium]

Just getting this off my chest.

I've finally managed to convince my husband's family to agree to a moratorium on the whole christmas presents thing this year. They all live in different cities in Australia and New Zealand - we live in the UK.

Last year, we spent over £300 on postage alone (tried sending anything to Oz lately - it's sooo expensive). Last year, I spent really ages trying to find nice things that people would genuinely like, wrapping everything beautifully and then sending.

This year, I suggested that we all don't buy any presents and with the money saved but our own children one present and say it's from the rest of the family.

It's taken two months of horrid silence and then just a plea from me that we just can't afford it anymore. My father in law sent me a message saying that the family will let us off buying presents for them for one year.

WTF?

Sorry, but if someone asked me if it was OK not to buy me a christmas present because they couldn't afford it this year, I would feel guilty that they were even worrying about it....

No point to this post really......

YANBU, that's not exactly in the spirit of Christmas is it?

But I have to ask, why are you dealing with it and not your DH?

Good question!

My DH said he'll deal with it be telling everyone that they're not getting presents.

I wanted to take a more diplomatic approach.....annoyingly, he was probably right all along and I should have just let him deal....

for gods sake, just let your DH deal with it. For what its worth I agree with you and think yanbu

and it IS soo much more expensive to post to oz lately however you can sometimes get around this by ordering via amazon and getting it delivered direct

I think your suggestion was a good one. My sister lives in Oz and the postage is always more expensive than the present. This year I signed up to Perth group on and have bought her a nice dinner and drinks voucher (they rarely eat out as its so expensive) and a pamper voucher for a salon. She can't unwrap them but she'll enjoy them. Also might look into ordering gifts from Oz sites and having them sent gifywrapped to the family

It's taken two months of horrid silence and then just a plea from me that we just can't afford it anymore. My father in law sent me a message saying that the family will let us off buying presents for them for one year.

Are people really that greedy? Really?

What could they possibly need that necessitates you being stressed and skint?

Send them some humbugs.

The family will let you off buying presents for them for one year ??

I hope he's being funny. Let you off? What are they going to do if you don't buy them any next year? Come over mob-handed and assault you?

Good for your DH, anyway.

Yes, I did wonder at what would happen if I don't buy presents in subsequent years......giggles

Deadly silence no doubt! Rather a relief for me, but a bit sad for the children......

BTW. My best friend in Oz has discovered book depository, which sends books anywhere in the world free of charge (the postage that is, not the books). We have been sending each other books like that for the past few months. I conveniently didn't mention this option to the inlaws.....

Postage is ridiculous. My mother in law sent me a tea towel and 6 egg cups as a birthday present from Oz and the postage for $18.

This year, I suggested that we all don't buy any presents and with the money saved but our own children one present and say it's from the rest of the family.

I'm a bit confused, you want to not buy presents for your relatives, and use the money saved to buy your own kids a present and pretend it is from your relatives?

Can you not afford to buy presents for them at all, or is it the expensive postage that is making it unaffordable?

If you just cannot afford it this year, then YANBU.

But if it's just the international postage, then can you not buy things from Australian gift websites, the postage should be much less? cocacola and jenda have given good suggestions. Also what about amazon vouchers because they are international and you can spend exactly what you can afford, and family can buy exactly what they want/need.

YANBU in a slightest, I know your pain only to well as have the same problem, however we did not receive anything, or at least my kids/grandkids...it was expected and family got used to it...
I cannot be arsed anymore,...

Does your family still get presents?

It's actually both. The presents and the postage - the number - 30 presents to send to Oz for family alone.

I'm happy to send my best friend discount books for free postage....

I thought my suggestion was a good one for the whole family?!

If 6 egg cups and a tea towel are typical gifts then YANBU to say no gifts purely on the basis of her crap present giving.
£300 on postage is madness!

Nope. My own family are happy with pictures etc made by the children as presents. But DH's family want "proper" presents....

Thanks for the suggestions and comments.

Signing out now!

I know the feeling buying something and then the postage being more than the item, we lived in Canada for five years, I even had things seized by customs........I think as long as its across the board then it's fine.

It seems a bit U to refuse to buy one side of the family any gifts at all, when you call still afford to send your best friend books apropos of nothing?

Why not just get them things on Amazon and Book Depository?

Unless you can't afford any gifts, full stop, and you aren't buying for your side of the family either.

Sorry cross posted.

IMHO thirty "family" presents is insane even before you've taken postage into consideration.

I have family in Australia. Each set of parents used to buy their own children the presents "from Aunty X" to avoid all this nonsense. And now they do similar for the emerging grandchildren.

YANBU, your FIL sounds like a huffy diva man. Perhaps next year do the book thing and at least you don't waste money on postage. I agree with those who say 30 presents is crazy!

That's a bit of a grabby attitude they've got.
FWIW we get round the horrific postage costs to Oz by buying online from shops over there, the Westfield shopping centre has a good site.