To be peeved that

[WinkyWinkola]

In laws always check to see what sil and her dcs are doing for Christmas before making any arrangements with us? Its almost like they ask her permission - "we will just see what dd is doing if you don't mind."

I get the feeling that if sil changed her mind at any point about her plans for Christmas, pil would drop any plans with us like a hot potato.

It's coming up in conversation with dh and he thinks the same although he would invite them anyway.

I don't like my dcs being B list for anyone. I think we should not invite them because they are loathe to commit to an arrangement. We all live 2-3 hours apart.

AIBU?

No YANBU, I wouldn't invite them either and see how long it takes them to speak to you about it, if they do!

How rude! I would not mention Christmas at all and when they say they are free to come to you I would tell them sorry we've made plans

Then if they prefer that then they can go there instead of here and can't be offended if we don't invite them.

My Mum refuses to come to mine at all! She 'always' goes to my DSis, so she can't come to mine!

Surely it is a choice, not something she has to do!

Of course it's a choice but to only come to ours because their first choice isn't available rankles a bit.

I suppose my Sis has always been available, so mum hasn't ever done that!

It is very rude!

YANBU to be peeved but you might be glad of it in years to come when you don't feel you have to have them every year!

It might simply be that mil feels more comfortable helping her own daughter peel sprouts My in-laws have usually gone to sil or stayed at home, they know they are welcome here but I think we are a bit chaotic for them!