Declining to help a good friends' DH.

[Amibambini]

I agreed to help the husband of a lovely friend to promote his business. I turned up to help him today and discovered that the products we were to promote were not actually his and were bought in from a large, succesful & well known commercial business.

I explained the principles behind copyright, and as politely as i could, pointed out that passing off other people's work as your own isn't good business practice. After some heated discussion, including some excruciating bullshit from him, I extracted myself from the situation and left without rendering my services.

The thing is, I feel terrible! If truth be told, I have never liked the man, I find him to be quite controlling and not very genuine. I only agreed to help as I saw it as helping my friend. She is a lovely, gentle soul who works full time to support them both, so by helping him get his business off the ground, makes things easier for her.

AIBU to let my buddy down? Have I let my feelings for the husband cloud my judgement?

Sorry to be vague on details, don't want to out anyone.

Whilst I don't see why you even offered to help him in the first place, if what you said to him sinks in you have probably done him a favour.

You definitely have done the right thing. Unfortunately if this turned out to be a legal issue, as you mentioned it's copyrighted products the friendship would not save you or your friend. Also assuming you are offering professional services you don't want the negative reputation associated with promoting this product. Don't mix good friendships with business dealings, it never ends well.

You sound professional in your own field and I think you were right not to compromise that. It's a pity that you were not able to help your friend as you intended, but that's no fault of yours. You tried. Your instinct and judgement sound spot on.

In a similar-ish vein but not involving me professionally. I went to a small local shop which has been very widely feted for its original products, not available elsewhere, etc, etc. 60% of the shop was Cox & Cox products and the rest modern reproductions being passed off as vintage. I left baffled and also confused - I didn't think cox & Cox sold wholesale. I guess people try to get away with it.

Buying things and selling them on is a normal business practice, so as described YABU.

Buying things and selling them on is normal practice

Buying things to sell on and pretend that they are your own products is not normal practice.

What does your friend think of him doing this

I'm confused. Is he buying the real thing from the commercial business and then selling it on or is he copying the items that they make and then selling these as either the real thing or his own idea? If it is the former then that may be a perfectly legal business practice. If it's the latter then it probably isn't. There is a big difference between the two scenarios though.

You mention that the company concerned is large, successful and well known, so I assume that they aren't handcrafted items as per Regretsy site. Some companies do make and sell their items, but also allow others to sell on too. Have you checked that the company are allowing your friends DH to do this?

Copyright doesn't mean that you can't sell on items or the whole economy would collapse.