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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In laws

6 replies

betty10k · 30/09/2013 13:45

Can i ask if i am being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed about this? My parents in law look after my 1 year old once a week, he is at nursery the rest of the week as my husband and i both work full time. They asked to have him 1 day a week and also said that they'd like to pick him up early from nursery at least once a week so they could give him his dinner and so he was with family as much as possible. This was all agreed before i went back to work. They love having him, always say how good he has been etc.

But my brother in law has just moved away and they are very upset about this as he has 3 teenage children - the first 3 grandchildren. They want to go and visit 2 weeks after they move and will stay with them for a week, they want to go on the day they would normally look after my son. I am annoyed because i can't understand why they can't leave the next day or even go the following week when i have the whole week booked off for half term? He is their grandchild too and they only see him once a week. They also have never picked him up early from nursery like they said they would. I don't mind that really as he is happy there but i suppose it's because i expected it to happen once they said it. Sorry if i'm moaning....! They also want my husband to leave work and play taxi to and from the station, and they are no longer coming to us for Christmas they are now going to stay with them. I have said what they want me to say which is that it is okay but i'm silently seething. My husband by the way agrees with me but will of course not say anything.....

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 30/09/2013 13:49

Well they'll be closer to you the rest of the time so id leave it to be honest

TheFabulousIdiot · 30/09/2013 13:50

hmmmm... how long have they been doing this and have they given you lots of notice?

My mother looks after my DS once a week but there are times when she cant, either through being away or illness. I have always said that if she can't do it then I will happily book a day off to cover.

If they giving you notice then I think YABU because you should always factor in the chance that there might be a day they can't do. Also - if this is the first and only time that they have done it then you are being a bit over the top about being upset.

clam · 30/09/2013 13:54

It may not be as simple as them switching weeks to visit BIL. Maybe he is away that week or his kids have plans?

Sorry, but I think you are being a bit unreasonable, although I can see why you're miffed. Can you book him in for an extra day in Nursery?

betty10k · 30/09/2013 14:04

Okay thanks you've made me calm down, i am being over the top and unreasonable but i've got it off my chest now and i will go away and get over it. Just to answer your questions - I did of course say any problems i'll sort something out i just hadn't expected them to choose to go away on the day they would have him when they really could just go the next day - they can go whenever they like they are retired and brother in law + family will be there, they looked at the diary in front of me yesterday. I suppose it's because of them cancelling coming to us for Christmas as well (the first time) and also because they are considering moving up there to be near them..... I'm trying to arrange nursery for morning and holiday for the afternoon.

Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle · 30/09/2013 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFabulousIdiot · 30/09/2013 14:08

btw I do understand the Christmas thing - that would piss me off.

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