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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Men who post sleazy shit about their sex lives.

88 replies

WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco · 29/09/2013 21:19

There's no need.

I actually find it really disturbing. Mn is populated by mainly women and some lovely men. So I find something quite, I don't know, creepy? Intimidating? Off, anyway, about men who want to tell us all about their seckshual adventures.

I'd like to invite them to stop.

Also, and this is less annoying but I'll add it so it's all one big ranty op, men who prefix their posts with 'speaking as a man' or similar and then go on to post something completely unrelated to the fact they are a bloke. it reminds me of monkeys swinging their dicks around to assert their dominance.

Aibu?

I know I'm not, but I am tired and ratty and have low tolerance levels today.

OP posts:

AnaisHendricks · 29/09/2013 22:28

Thank you Sheshelob

I wonder if we should have a MN Everyday Sexism Project?

On one of the main boards.

I remember a thread about rape and sexual assault taking off so massively that it led to I Believe You.

Sheshelob · 29/09/2013 22:33

We should because it is something so many of us are still uncomfortable acknowledging.

My most recent example happened yesterday.

I was dressed up for an event and suddenly realised I was visible to men no longer looked like a bag lady from space. I was with my husband and my toddler and yet still some smirking cockend had to leer at me and then shriek along with his mates when I had to walk past them twice.

The sad thing is that as a younger woman, I would have been flattered by the attention. Now I just want to tear their fucking eyes out for making me feel so self-conscious and objectifying me while I was with my baby.

AnaisHendricks · 29/09/2013 22:38

How horrible!

OP would you like to start a separate one given that the idea came from your thread?

contortionist · 29/09/2013 22:38

Speaking as a man, I find men who insert sexual references into every conversation they have with women sleazy and weird whether online or not.

AnaisHendricks · 29/09/2013 22:41

contortionist thank you. My DH wanted to post the same thing.

Sheshelob · 29/09/2013 22:42

Exactly,

NotDead · 29/09/2013 22:43

FreudiansSlipper · 29/09/2013 22:43

great idea

it is so ingrained in our society that it has become the norm

i can remember putting me head down and hoping i would not be noticed when i was young and walking past a group of men

just because you want to look nice does not mean you want men making vile comments, leering at you or coming on to you

FreudiansSlipper · 29/09/2013 22:44

contortionist i am glad to hear that and i know many men like you

AnaisHendricks · 29/09/2013 22:45

"Cheer up luv, it might never happen"

Say that to an angry or miserable-looking six foot bloke, I dare you!

BoneyBackJefferson · 30/09/2013 06:51

AnaisHendricks
"Yes. Mainly by their male partners."

I would love to know where you get you stats from.

saintmerryweather · 30/09/2013 07:06

this isnt your cosy little corner of the internet, and you arent out in a club with your mates. anyone can post here almost whatever they want. if you dont like it either report it or dont read it

ReginaldBlinker · 30/09/2013 07:12

this isnt your cosy little corner of the internet, and you arent out in a club with your mates. anyone can post here almost whatever they want. if you dont like it either report it or dont read it

this.

The report button is there for a reason. Utilise it and move on.

TiggyD · 30/09/2013 07:23

Maybe we need a sleazy shit forum?

ReginaldBlinker · 30/09/2013 07:29

There are all different kinds of trolls who come on this site. It's really overthinking it to give more credit to these ones over any of the others. If you're asking men not to post about their sex life because it offends your delicate sensibilities, YABU. If you're starting a thread about one troll that you've seen lately, and are trying to make a bigger deal out of it than it is, YABU. If you're moaning instead of using the report button, YABU.

Lazyjaney · 30/09/2013 07:30

When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.....

Sheshelob · 30/09/2013 08:39

It isn't about being offended or shocked or wanting a cosy corner of the Internet. It is about drawing a line and saying that it isn't acceptable, which given the amount of "in defence of the creeps" posts there have been, is absolutely required.

Running to the moderator doesn't fix this shit. They keep coming back. So why not show some solidarity with others who are fucked off with it? Why can they have freedom to say whatever they want but we have to be silenced?

candycoatedwaterdrops · 30/09/2013 09:00

If there are creeps, report them but bear in mind, freedom is speech is allowed.

Lazyjaney · 30/09/2013 09:04

Seems to me one small bunch of nutters want to shut up another small bunch of nutters on a public chat forum. That'll work...

Sheshelob · 30/09/2013 09:10

Nutters?

Why does saying that I don't being sleazed on in a parenting forum - or anywhere - make me a nutter?

Should I just be grateful for the attention, Janey?

Sheshelob · 30/09/2013 09:10

*like

My tinfoil hat is obviously impairing my ability to type.

MrsGeologist · 30/09/2013 09:29

Yes OP, it's a free internet, people can say what they want, so shut up.

Ahem, what sheshelob said.

TiggyD · 30/09/2013 09:52

And one person's sleaze is another person's free and liberated discussion.

For instance if you were to talk about cuddling up to your partner for a huggle in front of your TV people would think "That's nice". If you were to mention that it was a person of the same gender many people would think "That's sleazy".

digerd · 30/09/2013 09:53

Sheshelob
I am an old dear and do sometimes stand at bus stops. I was subjected to exposers only in my tender teenage years.
Now, if it happened, an old dear would probably say loudly" Hey, your zip is undone and your little willy is sticking out. Put it away before I whack it with my walking stick/shopping bag" .

AnyFucker · 30/09/2013 09:54

I expect I'll get told to shut up for being a whiny, frigid prude who hates sex so I'll keep this brief.

There are some inadequate men who see this site as full of panting, adoring, sex starved housewives to flash their (metaphorical) pathetic , friction-burned little todgers at. And some female posters lap it up for some strange reason.

There are some grandiose male posters who seek out vulnerable women and use their threads as a platform to tell us how the use of porn and sex industry establishments is a God-given right and we should STFU about it if we want to keep our man. There are some women who agree with that standpoint.

There are some female posters who also overshare stomach-churningly about their own sex lives, who further attract the wankers and wah-wah-wah when it is pointed out to them.

MNHQ know who these posters are (I among others have certainly reported them enough times) but because they stay within the current guidelines, their hands are tied.

I, for one, will not stop pointing it out when I see it. Freedom of Speech and all that.

Oh, and what Sheshelob said.

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