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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to speak up?

22 replies

sulkymonkey · 29/09/2013 17:37

Someone on my fb has put up a status saying that there is a cat which let itself into her flat (as they do) and she thought it was cute and fed it. That was a few weeks ago and since then it has been back daily, and she has been feeding it daily. Now she feels like because she has fed it and it has no collar it is essentially HER cat and wants to just keep it. A few replies from her friends saying that this is perfectly acceptable and lots of "ooh you are so kind, poor mog" that kind of thing and that she needs to keep it in her flat now and not let it out.

WTAF?! I replied saying that she needs to think on, the cat doesn't look neglected to me (I have put the pics in my profile here if you want to see) and some cat owners don't tend to collar their pets for safety reasons.

I have REALLY bitten my tongue here, in my mind she is essentially stealing what could be someones beloved pet, shes already been given a load of cat stuff so she clearly means it.

So, AIBU to want to call her a thief or should I hold my tongue and make believe she is rescuing this cat?

OP posts:

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 29/09/2013 17:40

Don't all cats go elsewhere for food? ( I'm sure I've read this somewhere).

It doesn't mean she can keep it. So yes, she's stealing someone else's cat.

Tiredmumno1 · 29/09/2013 17:42

Yes you should speak up.

She is essentially stealing someone else's cat as you have said.

Tell her she should never have fed it in the first place, of course it's going to go back if extra food is on offer. Very wrong of her.

mrsjay · 29/09/2013 17:46

my cat used to go to a neighbours house and miaow with starvation that is what cats do, your friend cant just keep a cat

gordyslovesheep · 29/09/2013 17:48

I have a (now ex) FB friend who did this twice - with little cats (under 1) who she 'found' in her road and fed and they didn't want to leave ...I suggested she ask her neighbours, do posters etc etc - nope - she effectively stole 2 cats - I told her she was behaving like a twat and defriended her

InTheRedCorner · 29/09/2013 17:49

Tell her she needs to see if its chipped. It's stealing!

Retroformica · 29/09/2013 17:51

A few years ago someone took our cat this way. We had the cat on healthy dried food but someone somewhere started feeding her tinned stuff. That was her gone really and initially my boys all thought he was dead.

Alisvolatpropiis · 29/09/2013 17:53

I have a real issue with people like your friend.

Cats wouldn't go to other people's houses for food if said other people didn't feed them! Hardly rocket science.

I know for a fact someone is feeding at least one of my two cats. Who are well looked after and wear collars. If I could work out who I'd knock on their door.

MissStrawberry · 29/09/2013 17:54

More than likely there is a child somewhere crying for their pet or an adult worried sick and missing it. I would ring the vet to notify a cat that has been taken in by someone who hasn't attempted to find it's owner and intends to keep it.

Original poster

sulkymonkey · 29/09/2013 17:56

MissStrawberry that's what I said. How would she feel if it happened to her and it was her ds crying for their missing pet?

I think its a good idea re ringing the local vet. Thanks for that.

OP posts:

Fozziebearmum2be · 29/09/2013 17:57

YANBU-really annoys me...

A woman from work I knew did this and effectively stole the cat for the woman across the road. They never spoke and the woman (who owned the cat) moved house and had to lock her cat in her house so the other woman didn't steal it... (

People need to be told this is wrong!

WhoNickedMyName · 29/09/2013 17:57

This is so annoying and yes, she is stealing someone's cat.

My boy doesn't wear a collar as he can get those quick release ones off himself, he kind of hooks his back leg into it and tugs it until it pops open. I'm sure somebody near me thinks he's a stray and is feeding him wet food. He's only supposed to eat dry. We are moving house next week so hopefully that's an end to it.

BellaOfTheBalls · 29/09/2013 17:58

YANBU. If she feeds a cat, it will come back because she fed it. That doesn't mean it likes her better, is being starved or otherwise mistreated by its rightful owners and definitely, definitely doesn't make it hers.

If you don't want to rock the boat too much perhaps suggest she take it to a local vet to see if it is chipped before she makes any decisions.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 29/09/2013 18:00

yanbu at all. it saddens me that people do this. i dont understand why people dont get that it is stealing.

why are cats a free for all? anything else and the police would be involved

toiletbrush · 29/09/2013 18:01

I have a cat that on a recent visit to the vets, was classed as having a fat pouch! All because somebody else is feeding him! I know this due to the overwhelming smell of perfume on him and the fact that he disappears for sometimes a day at a time.

He is microchipped and insured,but doesn't wear a collar.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 29/09/2013 18:27

A person who would steal someone else's pet is no animal lover and is not fit to have a cat or anything else.

DoJo · 29/09/2013 19:51

I think it betrays a woeful ignorance of animal behaviour to assume that a cat who eats food when offered is a hungry cat! We nearly 'adopted' a cat that lived down the road from us, but only because he was being actively neglected. I was so reticent to do anything about the fact that he did in fact look hungry and poorly maintained that I took him to the vets before I even offered him a scrap of food. I spoke to his owners who claimed he 'had no appetite' and it was only when the vet agreed that a) he was underweight b) he was in poor health and c) he had never seen him before (only vet in the area) that I then offered him food. Within two weeks, he was back up to a healthy weight, had a lustrous coat of fur instead of looking motheaten and was a lot less cowed, but he went and moved in with someone else (not us or the original owners) because he was such an affectionate cat and so starved of attention that he wanted someone he could sit on all day. And the owners didn't give two hoots about any of this, which definitely stopped any residual guilt I may have had!

Mojavewonderer · 29/09/2013 20:33

It's thanks to people like your friend that my children have been devastated not only once but twice by someone stealing our cats!
If she wants to keep it then she should at least try and find out if it is actually a stray. She needs to get it checked to see if it has a chip, if not then she should put a collar on it with a note attached giving her phone number and asking the owner to get in touch.

Meerkatwhiskers · 29/09/2013 21:15

To put another spin on it which she may have not thought of, my cat is on an expensive prescription diet. So not only could the cat be being fed an inappropriate diet but that diet could make the cat ill. Will she be willing to take the cat to the vet and pay the £150 vet bill for antibiotics, anti-inflammatories and steroid jabs that my cat, for example, needs when she gets cystitis as she hasn't eaten the prescription food. We have tried without so know from experience. I had a boy cat that had it before and he was in for 5 days catheterised. That cost us about £800 (and that was a good 16 years ago).

Meerkatwhiskers · 29/09/2013 21:18

Btw YANBU to tell her that she is stealing a cat. Hate people that do this. Feeding other peoples cats is just wrong. I complained about that tv advert that had the cat having his friend over for dinner as it encouraged people to feed other peoples cats but apparently it is fine to advertise that.

BrokenSunglasses · 29/09/2013 21:20

Things like this are reasons why cats do not make good pets.

I don't think anyone who allows their pet out of their home to wander into other people's homes has any right to complain about their pet being stolen. If you don't want a pet that might choose to be with someone else rather than you, then don't have a cat, or don't let it out of your house.

MammaTJ · 29/09/2013 21:24

My own cat got catnapped this way, by an organisation too. Person reported my cat to the RSPCA and they checked him out, found he was loved and fed and left well alone, so they then reported me to local catnapping service cats protection league. They catnapped took him and when I rang around found they had him.

When I went and got him, they admitted he looked well looked after for a neglected cat, but they had still taken him. I refused to pay the vets fees for the tests they had done on that basis! They accepted that because I am scary and gave me my cat!

DoJo · 30/09/2013 00:35

BrokenSunglasses I think the point is that it's one thing if a cat appears in your house and seems to prefer you to their current home but it is quite another to encourage this behaviour by feeding a perfectly healthy (and in many cases slightly overfed) cat and therefore contributing significantly to the alienation of its affections. It's the slippery slope to cat theft that people are guilty of, and I have no doubt that there are plenty of people like the OP's friend who seem to fall in love with the idea that they are 'saving' a cat, when all they are actually doing is ensuring it is overfed.

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