Am I taking what dp said the wrong way??

[Phylis81]

Bit pissed off. Most weekends dp is grumpy, complaining about bring tired and stressed out and generally moangy. Normally we spend weekends together (not 24/7 but most of it) This is the first weekend where Iz have had to work from 9am until 10pm yesterday and from 8am until 9pm tonight do we've hardly seen each other. I'm stuck at work now (obviously) and he's just text saying he's had a really great weekend thanks to me and the kids. I've not been there! I feel like he's thanking me for not being around! Am I over-reacting? Why can't he be happy when I'm there? He's also constantly asking me what time I'm finishing work etc and seems happier when it's later. Feeling like he prefers it when I'm not around.

what did he actually say? Was he being sarcastic?

Are they both your kids?

What has he been doing this weekend and what do you normally do?

No doesn't sound like he was being sarcastic. They're just my kids. He's done nothing different this weekend other than be by himself looking after the kids (and they spend all their time in their room!)

Hmmm. Are you sure the text was meant for you?

If that had been my DH I'd have assumed sarcasm. Can you not just ask him what he means?

This is often to radical for most posters on here, but I would ask him and then have a conversation about his response.

Are you really expecting a group of strangers ( and if the opposite gender) who don't know your DP to second guess the meaning of a txt?

He might not be happy but it is better to speak to him with an open mind and listen, rather than have a head full of worse case scenario's which won't help.

why is he always grumpy? personally I would ask him. sounds like he is dragging you down.

Why don't you feel you can ask him outright? (maybe not want to hear the answer if you suspect he doesn't like your company?)

It does look sarky, like 'yeah, thanks for the great weekend '

But if every weekend is a shit one for him then why comment?

Being pissed off/arsey/tired/stressed is totally normal, but to be all those things most of the time is a real problem.

Something physical the doctor can help with?

Or maybe he needs to cut back on something (or do something for himself) to ease the stress because it can really take a toll on your health, and the health of your relationship.

Asking him what he means is quite a good idea, it's true.

Sounds like he was being sarcastic and is "blaming" you for leaving him to look after the kids. Maybe they have been playing up a bit but he does sound like a bit of a mardy bastard.

Talk to him and find out what he meant by that. It sounds sarcastic to me. Like his weekend has been anything but really great. Poor you. He really is in a "poor me" mood, isn't he?

But then if his weekend's been shit, he only has himself to blame if OP's not been there.

He can't be holding her responsible surely, she was at work, not out doing something for herself.

Why are your kids in their rooms all weekend? How old are they? Unless 14 plus, that's really bad. How long have you known him for?

If the OP's dp is always grumpy I'd spend all the weekend in my room if I had to spend it with him

OP all you can do is ask him what he meant by his text.