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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not run upstairs within seconds every time she cries.

16 replies

Twattybollocks · 29/09/2013 00:06

Rational part of me knows she won't melt. Irrational part is upset with myself that I'm not belting upstairs. Dd2 is currently mizzling and grumbling. She has been down since 7.30, not partic well settled, I've been up and down like a tarts knickers since then. She will only resettle with me holding her hand and patting. But I'm getting a bit bloody sick of it now (in general not just tonight) I'm tired I've got a fucking headache and I have all the bottles to wash before I can go to bed. I just wish just for once she would go the fuck to sleep on her own without me holding her hand. I've been contorted over the cot for about 2 bloody hours tonight, I've no fucking idea what's wrong with her that she won't go to sleep and stay asleep for more than 15 minutes tonight, but I'm going to give her 5 mins to see if she can drop back off on her own, and if not I'm going upstairs with calpol and a bottle.
No idea why I've posted this here, just needed a rant and a pity party. So tell me iabu, I'm too tired and fucked off to care. Sorry.

OP posts:
NaturalBaby · 29/09/2013 00:08

Don't be sorry. Are you on your own with her? I nearly went insane when my ds's where at that stage, YANBU.

rattlemehearties · 29/09/2013 00:08

I know the feeling but remember she is a baby, she's not doing it to wind you up. How old is she?

CalculatorCalender · 29/09/2013 00:10

How old is she?

This too shall pasd.

CocacolaMum · 29/09/2013 00:10

YANBU you ARE sounding tired though. Hope she's not coming down with something, take a deep breath and do what feels right.

mummyplonk · 29/09/2013 00:18

I was thinking the same as naturalbaby, how old is she? If she is safe, clean and fed, it is so hard but try to let her settle. (My health visitor even took me into the garden as Ds was a nightmare) after swaddling, white noise and cranial osteopathy she suggested putting lavender in his room and it worked! Don't despair you will find something that works for you.

Original poster
Twattybollocks · 29/09/2013 00:34

She is 8mo. Currently lying in bed with her blowing fucking raspberries and trying to stick her finger up my nose. Clearly she is distraught. God I need to get a grip but I'm so sick of doing this on my own. I kicked her father out when she was 12'weeks old.

OP posts:
Lora1982 · 29/09/2013 08:03

I had the same issues last night I was resorted to rocking him in his pram at god know what pissin time of the morning. He's the same age as yours, getting over a cold and apparently there's a sleep regression at this age which can piss off.

MOTU · 29/09/2013 08:18

8 months was exactly the age my daughter started doing this and I'm afraid I had to give in and leave her to it eventually. It was awful and involved me sitting outside her room for 30 minutes the first night feeling wretched but she learned to self settle almost instantly once she realised I wasn't going to stroke her back to sleep anymore. She now sleeps 730-8.30 every night no problems eve since. (Obviously except when ill!)

Rooners · 29/09/2013 08:23

Mine is the same age and this is precisely why I don't have a cot or put him anywhere I'm not. I carry on doing exactly what I want to do, with him on my lap or in my arms or being entertained by the older ones, and he falls asleep as and when.

If we're all tired then we all go to bed and I lie with him while he goes to sleep - it doesn't take more than 20 minutes max, he messes about and wriggles and then goes off next to me and I am free to get up again off the bed and go and do other stuff.

I think this makes my life a lot easier than the thing where you put them on their own in a cot and keep going up and down all evening.

Give it a try?

Rooners · 29/09/2013 08:26

btw I'm on my own too...it is hard but it can be managed especially if you have a nice big double bed to share with the baby.

Don't make your life harder than it has to be. Babies want to be near you or they think you've gone for ever. (till they get object permanence anyway!)

Won't be forever, just take advantage of the fact you can do it any way you bloody well want to and do it the easiest way. If I did what you are doing I would DIE of exhaustion.

ethlinn · 29/09/2013 08:36

DS is the same age. I always let him try and resettle first before I go into his room. He now has a stinking cold and is teething, so he wakes early crying his eyes out. At 5am I can't even think, I just take him to bed with me so that we can both go back to sleep. If CIO is not for you, I'd just do whatever it takes so that you can sleep too. There is nothing worse than lack of sleep, makes me moody and miserable.

Rooners · 29/09/2013 08:47

If they are next to you in the bed it is far easier to manage for some reason. I think the cognitive demands of finding another room are too much for me at night.

This week, ds barely slept at all for two nights. I had to drive in the mornings and frankly I would have been fecking dangerous if I'd not o slept. It just meant I slept when he did and woke when he did and didn't get up or get stressed about it.

My mum told me to put ds1 in his own room when he was about 2 or 3 and it was the worst time of my life in terms of sleep deprivation. He came back into my bed after a couple of weeks, it was ridiculous - every time he woke I had to get up. If it had been compulsory to continue I'd have done CIO too. Thankfully it wasn't.

Rooners · 29/09/2013 08:47

CO slept sorry

Catsize · 29/09/2013 10:12

We co-slept from birth until son was 13mths, when he went into a single bed without any issues at all. It is very hard when you are on your own, but co-sleeping might just make life a bit easier. We now read to him in his bed before he sleeps all snuggly.
Cave baby instincts are to have a parent close so they don't get eaten by tigers kind of, so not surprising babies cry when left alone. Our babies don't appreciate they are born in 2013 suburbia. So-called self-soothing is something I am not a fan of personally, as I think it does more harm than good, but know this is a controversial area.
Hope you feel better soon. What you are doing is draining, and you need to make life easier - but not necessarily by reaching for the Calpol! Wink
Oh, and the fingers up nose stage passes too. And then you kind of miss it. Sort of.
Ignore the books, and go with your instincts other than throwing a baby out of the window. You will be fine. Promise.
Wish you all the best OP. Sending hugs and Cake

Original poster
Twattybollocks · 29/09/2013 11:03

The calpol worked, not wanting to drip feed but she has had a virus/snotty nose on and off for the last 3 weeks. She has been fine for a couple of days so assumed she had finally shaken it off, but it seems not. She ended up In bed with me and slept until 6 which I can live with.
I do want her to learn to self settle, but I can't face cc, did it with my son but I was depressed at the time which may have made things easier as I struggled to bond with him (not saying this is a good thing, the cc did work and seemed like the right thing at the time, this time it doesn't seem like the right thing at all) think I may instigate gradual withdrawal technique instead as that seems gentler. Thank you for listening last night, sometimes that's all that's needed. It's a lonely place being awake with a baby who won't settle and no support

OP posts:
Catsize · 29/09/2013 11:38

Glad it went okay. Can understand why you don't want to do cc. Funny phrase that. Anyway, all the best.

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