Note: I know that this may seem trivial! I am very loyal to my friends so it is a big deal to me to drop a friendship, hence the over-analysis.
I have a friend who I met through work around four years ago. Since then we have met around every three months, usually catching up over dinner. She's gone through a lot in that time, and I've supported her through this, including the break-up of her marriage and ongoing struggles with poor health and depression (which continue). She moved house around 4 months ago I'd say. She lives alone and has no children.
Since around the beginning of this year, we've seen each other twice, and I've noticed that she's behaved in a less enthusiastic way about catching up - I don't remember the details anymore but I recall the first time this year I think she cancelled twice, once on the day itself, before we saw each other, citing tiredness etc.; and the second time she may have cancelled once and I remember it taking quite a while to actually organise a day to see each other. Then when she moved house, she messaged me about it and I replied saying I'd love to see it once she's settled in; she took around 4 weeks to reply to that text message. When she eventually replied, apologising for the delay, I texted back immediately saying that was OK as I'd assumed she was busy with work and the house move, again asking when she might be free; and it was around 1.5 months before she replied, with a weirdly impersonal message saying, "I haven't forgotten about you! Thanks Pigglesworth." (I didn't reply.) Then, around 1.5 months after that, she sent a text apologising for the delay and saying she'd "love" to see me over the next few weeks. (That was a few days ago; I haven't replied.) During this period she has been on Facebook a lot updating with jokes/memes etc., which suggests that she has not been insanely busy.
I really value the friends I make and I have a lot of good, close friends. I strongly value sincerity and loyalty in my friendships. Although it's hurtful to have someone who I had perceived as a genuine friend behaving in such an unenthusiastic way about catching up, if her enthusiasm for the friendship has waned that is fine and I don't want anyone to feel unhappy/obliged about seeing me! I guess basically I am saying that after pretty much a 3-4 month delay in her response regarding catching up, it has made me feel that she doesn't value me very highly as a friend, and at this stage I'd written off the friendship months ago. I don't have any other friends who delay their reply to texts for weeks/months, and I think it's rude. We worked in a somewhat "prestigious" setting and I know she values "networking" and would never respond in this way to her boss or staff of similar status, for example.
Would I be unreasonable to just not reply to her text and let this friendship go? Complicating matters, my partner works at that organisation and bumps into this person, who repeatedly says how she'd love to have us over. He got a bit stressed when I mentioned this issue and said he was worried about there being awkwardness for him at work. Or... am I being heartless and underestimating the impact that depression/health issues/the stress of a house move may have on her, and give her another chance? I have to admit my heart is not in the friendship anymore after this, regardless, as I have assumed that her behaviour reflects her not valuing the friendship very highly.
I am a very sensitive person though and may be overreacting... would love to get some other opinions on how others would deal with this.