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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gardening is not "me time"?

26 replies

Saxie · 28/09/2013 10:26

If I was arranging flowers it might be lovely "me" time but pruning trees and weeding is like cleaning, a necessary regular chore, not "me" time. It needs to be done.

DH has flounced off blaming me for ruining his day because he has to spend some time with the kids when he wants to do his thing (waxing surfboards as you ask).

I am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
SubliminalMassaging · 28/09/2013 10:27

Bloody hell no.

FrigginRexManningDay · 28/09/2013 10:28

YANBU gardening is a pain to me so is absolutely a chore not 'me' time.

MisselthwaiteManor · 28/09/2013 10:28

YANBU, he is being childish. Can he do his thing tomorrow?

ShakeRattleNRoll · 28/09/2013 10:42

I'm just about to get stuck in and do a bit of digging.

littlewhitebag · 28/09/2013 10:45

My DH sees gardening as 'me' time. He loves it. Lucky as i hate it.

Dobbiesmum · 28/09/2013 10:49

Now to me gardening is me time, I love it! I spent a relaxing hour pruning a couple of triffids buddlias yesterday but your Oh is being U. Waxing surfboards is a damn sight less important than taking care of your own DC's. YANBU.

MrsDavidBowie · 28/09/2013 10:49

I have never gardened in my life.
It equates to cleaning bathrooms in my view.

MortifiedAdams · 28/09/2013 10:51

Cant the kids run round the garden and he wax his board out there?

myroomisatip · 28/09/2013 10:52

No YANBU

Perhaps you should employ a hunky gardener.

Yorkieaddict · 28/09/2013 10:52

If you don't enjoy it it is not "me time" I don't understand why your DH needs to watch the DC's while you are doing it though, can't they come out into the garden with you? Then your DH could do his thing, and give you some time to yourself afterwards?

BrokenSunglasses · 28/09/2013 10:53

A few people I know see gardening as me time because they enjoy it, but if you don't then it isn't. It is just and ther job to be done, which it would be for me if I didn't just let the garden grow how it wants to.

Tbh, gardening isn't something that has to be done in my mind, not like laundry and cleaning the bathroom which you really don't have a choice about.

This isn't about gardening or surfboards, it's about your DH not wanting to watch his own kids.

NotALondoner · 28/09/2013 10:53

Is 'waxing his surfboard' a euphamism?

runawaysimba · 28/09/2013 10:54

I assume if he's waxing a surf board, he also surfs? That's some nice me time he gets.

Flicktheswitch · 28/09/2013 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviennemary · 28/09/2013 11:04

Some people do see gardening as me time. I don't and neither does DH. So we've got a gardener. Saves lots of rows about gardening.

Original poster
Saxie · 28/09/2013 11:13

Hmm. I do like gardening but, like anything, not when it gets to the point of things needing to be done urgently. DH doesn't see the garden as ever urgent (lucky bugger doesn't recognise weeds) but complains when it's a mess because its "my" garden.

I need to get this straight or we will always argue over it. :-(

We do have a gardener but not regularly as they are very £££. Perhaps I should bill for my time?

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 28/09/2013 11:20

Me time!! Are you jesting gardening is just more chores as far as I'm concerned!! Like cleaning out the car or washing windows!!

Me time for me is coffee with friends, cinema, lunch out, browsing in shops, afternoon nap, Smile

whois · 28/09/2013 11:22

Gardening is a chore, just like cleaning. Looks nice when it's done but no fun doing it!

YouTheCat · 28/09/2013 11:25

If you getting the garden straight (I hate gardening so much) requires the kids to be watched then he needs to suck it up and get on with it. They're his responsibility too.

PiratePanda · 28/09/2013 11:32

I hate gardening - definitely a chore in my book, and not "me time" Hmm

PaulSmenis · 28/09/2013 11:32

It's only "me time" if you love gardening. YANBU

justwondering72 · 28/09/2013 11:32

Oh god you are not BU at all! We occasionally have the same dispute about housework but DH is always willing to take the boys out cycling or whatever. It's hard when there is so little me time to share out, we get into stupid 'my life is so much harder than yours' competitions.

Gardening is outdoor housework as far as I an concerned. We live in an apartment with a massive park right next door -it's great having all that garden an other people looking after it!

missinglalaland · 28/09/2013 11:33

You could always offer to entertain the kids, while HE does the gardening!

ShadowSummer · 28/09/2013 14:11

YANBU.

Agree that gardening (unless you love gardening) doesn't count as 'me time'. Any more than doing the dishes or ironing does.

Fairylea · 28/09/2013 14:18

I think there's maintenance gardening, like pruning trees that would otherwise become neighbourly eyesores and mowing the grass - this is not me time and is essential really, unless you don't give a shit what your house looks like....

Then there's faffing about planting lots of flowers, creating new flowerbeds, arranging existing plants and repotting to nicer pots etc .. all of which I enjoy doing but I wouldn't consider essential... so more "me" time....fulfilling a hobby.